| maybe 童生
 
 
 注册时间: 2006-12-31
 帖子: 18
 
 maybe北美枫文集
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				|  发表于: 2007-01-09 22:34:29    发表主题: for I’m a playboy 请批 |   |  
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				| Poetry, don’t love me for I’m a playboy
 
 Don't ask me to sit to paint
 I can only brush and leave.
 Preferring a pet yet don’t
 Like time-sharing; however,
 A cup of espresso is what I
 Can afford to share, in time.
 
 Don’t teach me new tricks
 Loyal is not my dog nature
 As I greet new friends with
 You and smell their scents.
 
 Impressionism of love leads
 Me to a space of exoticness
 Where I also see images of
 You in various replications
 As I was relaxed to choose.
 
 Accepting agree with what
 We disagreed and move on
 To avoid tearing down the
 House which hosts no more
 Guests of honor in evenings
 Is the last we disagree upon.
 
 Waking up with thought of
 You that gradually mutates
 To colors in the nature and
 Feminine attributes of the
 Goddess is not womanizing
 For God built the mundane
 Man unable to stick to you
 Yet wanting to return home
 After a tiring, playful stroll
 Out there—and this is just
 Another thought awaking.
 
 Farther and farther I wanted
 To go, longer and longer my
 pen strode, … …
 Oops, the phone rings and I
 Think I gotta pick up a call.
 _________________
 could be
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		| maybe 童生
 
 
 注册时间: 2006-12-31
 帖子: 18
 
 maybe北美枫文集
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				|  发表于: 2007-01-09 22:36:41    发表主题: |   |  
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				| Hawaii -- Girls on the beach 
 
 I’ll tell you this is another piece
 
 You swim by me like colorful fish
 Mis-guide my fishing pole's pitch
 Do you eventually escape my catch
 Or strangle me within arm’s reach
 
 
 Girls, Don’t just stand on the beach
 Rings, glittering in the belly scorch
 Hot as lava, my sweat into a Scotch
 The next question is: do I approach
 
 Gee, sh…
 Too little time and too many fish
 Rather get a piercing and tattoo each
 Than leave emptily, so I preach
 _________________
 could be
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		| kokho 进士出身
 
  
 注册时间: 2006-11-30
 帖子: 2642
 来自: Singapore
 kokho北美枫文集
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				|  发表于: 2007-01-09 23:02:42    发表主题: |   |  
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				| I like the first one, it is about a dogged determination to express the love for poems
 
 Hope to see more of your works.
 
 I can see that you are not a cat person... neither do I.
 
 .
 _________________
 乒乓、摄影、诗歌
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		| 和平岛 举人
 
  
 注册时间: 2006-05-25
 帖子: 1277
 来自: Victoria, Canada
 和平岛北美枫文集
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				|  发表于: 2007-01-09 23:14:15    发表主题: |   |  
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				| These two poems follow a similar pattern: 
 To catch your attention first, then lead you away, farther and farther away,
 to nowhere,
 then suddenly, it ends
 unexpectly
 
 I am not too sure about this word, agree, in this sentence:
 Accepting agree with what
 We disagreed and move on
 
 might use "agreement" instead?
 
 Thanks for sharing
 
 
  _________________
 写诗是为了写更好的诗
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