北美枫 :: 阅读主题 - 原创双语诗] 故乡又回到了梦乡

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William Zhou周道模
探花

注册时间: 2007-06-10
帖子: 3950
来自: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模北美枫文集

发表于: 2007-12-06 19:38:14 发表主题: 原创双语诗] 故乡又回到了梦乡

Hometown Came Back to My Dream Hometown, why do you go to rove Carrying my old and sick father and mother Hometown, why do you go to the distance Taking my youth's dreams and ideals The destined hometown of mine is roving A way is bumping cries and songs The destined hometown of mine is far away A letter is causing emotion and sadness Hometown has come back to my dream White hair is fluttering moonlight in the village Hometown has come back to my dream Tears are clear and bright like dew on the ground 故乡回到了我的梦乡故乡为什么要流浪载着老病的爹和娘故乡为什么去远方带着青春的梦和想命中的故乡在流浪一条路颠簸哭和唱命中的故乡在远方一封信勾起情和伤故乡回到了我的梦乡白发飘起满村的月光故乡回到了我的梦乡泪水像露珠遍地清亮 2006．8．7—9．4 于北京 _________________ 诗歌是灵魂的歌唱. 周道模

kokho
进士出身

注册时间: 2006-11-30
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来自: Singapore
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Lake
举人

注册时间: 2007-01-09
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Lake北美枫文集

发表于: 2007-12-07 18:54:06 发表主题:

最后一节的时态好像不大一致。

引用:

cries and singing

不如都用名词好了 cries and songs
_________________
the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins

William Zhou周道模
探花

注册时间: 2007-06-10
帖子: 3950
来自: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模北美枫文集

发表于: 2007-12-09 01:27:21 发表主题:

谢kokho和 lake 的赏读和指点！这是半年前的翻译，挂时忙了，连简单的错误都未改，不应该。 _________________ 诗歌是灵魂的歌唱. 周道模