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日记体诗歌试篇---20071202 收到<<雪语晴歌>> <<秋水之舸>> 等的记事
听雨不闻风
秀才


Joined: 16 Jan 2007
Posts: 136
Location: 中国 江苏
听雨不闻风Collection
PostPosted: 2007-12-03 00:02:03    Post subject: 日记体诗歌试篇---20071202 收到<<雪语晴歌>> <<秋水之舸>> 等的记事 Reply with quote

日记体诗歌试篇---20071202 收到<<雪语晴歌>> <<秋水之舸>> 等的记事

文/听雨不闻风

08:26起床时就听到了雨声
想必是这雨是乘一夜冬风而来
望窗外的道上伞花点点
残败的叶如画家手中的色彩
厚重实在的冬立在室外
早餐很随便应付过去后
还真忘了刷牙洗脸
好在看脸的人出的门去了
补点水气让隔夜的眉眼叙展

09:13敲门声引得蝴蝶犬高唱
打开邮寄员递过几封邮件
一册是王丽华著的<<雪语晴歌>>
一册是蔡启发著的<<秋水之舸>>
一封是广州诗社主办的<<诗词报赛能特刊>>
还有几件某大商场的推销图版

13:58看cctv11戏剧地方戏
角的伴像比如今的秀们好看
真的演义在比假的情义
忠孝义德串在戏里
苦了听戏的眼累了看戏的嘴
困了的脚睡在阴了的梦里
.
.
.
电灯亮了
再起床看到主旋律的戏又起
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南岩
童生


Joined: 19 Mar 2007
Posts: 78
Location: 江西、临川
南岩Collection
PostPosted: 2007-12-03 04:01:43    Post subject: Reply with quote

这个很独特啊!
问候Smile
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-12-03 08:33:35    Post subject: Reply with quote

这样的记事方式不错~问好!
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迪拜
同进士出身


Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 1588

迪拜Collection
PostPosted: 2007-12-03 17:53:39    Post subject: Reply with quote

欣赏
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-12-03 17:57:33    Post subject: Reply with quote

真的不错
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走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
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博弈
榜眼


Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection
PostPosted: 2007-12-04 09:35:43    Post subject: Reply with quote

“好在看脸的人出的门去了”

挺不错,有人把这类文体归于后现代非文学体,比方,日记体,广告体,备忘录体,等等。
我看这篇还是蕴藏文学味道的。
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听雨不闻风
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Joined: 16 Jan 2007
Posts: 136
Location: 中国 江苏
听雨不闻风Collection
PostPosted: 2007-12-04 16:32:46    Post subject: Reply with quote

感谢楼上朋文点评。初试小诗。需努力。祝好。
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