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蒙古栎林以南的峡谷 之一1[2]  Next
左岸
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Joined: 12 Oct 2006
Posts: 215
Location: 中国大连
左岸Collection
PostPosted: 2006-11-19 20:08:12    Post subject: 蒙古栎林以南的峡谷 之一 Reply with quote

■北方

一只斯文尼亚火狐站在
三月的裸岩瞭望,北方的春天还在蛋壳里听
编钟的音乐,泥土比先前膨松了许多
目光低行就可以轻快抵达原野的尽头
英纳河的水流有些陌生,发丝一般的
支流是它还没有认定的子孙
而乡村,一枚灰色的纽扣总是在这时
如小小的油菜花绽开,如果从废弃的矿山尖看去
有几个黑蚂蚁大小的人,扛着包裹
匆匆远行,他们没有一个想回过头
看一眼刚变轻的炊烟。其中有一人
今生今世就再也没有回来过



■黑鹰


现在我要描述的是一只黑鹰
从二千米高处滑落,对于天空来说
只不过少了一粒沙子
但大地,却多了一块需重新洗牌的夜



■一片桦树叶

一片硕大的桦树叶斜横着,叶面上
茎脉布满生命的轨迹。好奇的我把它凑到耳边
一阵车轮奔驰的声音由远而近,我不知道
在我这里有没有一站
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和平岛
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Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 1277
Location: Victoria, Canada
和平岛Collection
PostPosted: 2006-11-19 20:20:34    Post subject: Reply with quote

富有张力和灵性
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维鹿延
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PostPosted: 2006-11-20 01:32:05    Post subject: Reply with quote

有些诗,短短几句,却胜有千言。
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散步者身体里面的声音
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蓝桥
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Joined: 29 Sep 2006
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PostPosted: 2006-11-20 02:12:01    Post subject: Reply with quote

很厚的几个!
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左岸
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Joined: 12 Oct 2006
Posts: 215
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PostPosted: 2006-11-22 20:10:41    Post subject: Reply with quote

和平岛 wrote:
富有张力和灵性

问好和平岛,谢谢点评,感动中,遥握。
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左岸
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Joined: 12 Oct 2006
Posts: 215
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PostPosted: 2006-11-22 20:12:05    Post subject: Reply with quote

维鹿延 wrote:
有些诗,短短几句,却胜有千言。

问好维鹿延,谢谢点评,感动中,遥握。
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左岸
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PostPosted: 2006-11-22 20:13:00    Post subject: Reply with quote

蓝桥 wrote:
很厚的几个!

问好蓝桥,谢谢点评,感动中,遥握。
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齐遂林
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PostPosted: 2006-11-23 19:27:30    Post subject: Reply with quote

第一首像从宇宙俯瞰地球,有被冷峻压抑的情绪,喜欢!题目是否有点大了?
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左岸
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PostPosted: 2006-11-26 18:03:48    Post subject: Reply with quote

问好遂林,谢谢阅读,这是织组诗之一。
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白水
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Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
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PostPosted: 2006-11-26 18:59:14    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote="维鹿延"]有些诗,短短几句,却胜有千言。[/quote]

同感. 这就是语言的魅力所在
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刘建彬
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Joined: 25 Nov 2006
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PostPosted: 2006-11-27 03:00:35    Post subject: Reply with quote

左岸诗人的诗歌总能够给人带来美感和启迪!问好!
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迪拜
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Joined: 31 Oct 2006
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PostPosted: 2006-11-28 16:54:28    Post subject: 特别耐读 Reply with quote

特别耐读

多读,会有不同感觉
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左岸
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PostPosted: 2006-11-29 18:56:33    Post subject: Reply with quote

刘建彬 wrote:
左岸诗人的诗歌总能够给人带来美感和启迪!问好!

问好建彬,谢谢点评,远握。
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左岸
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PostPosted: 2006-11-29 18:57:46    Post subject: Re: 特别耐读 Reply with quote

迪拜 wrote:
特别耐读

多读,会有不同感觉

问好迪拜,谢谢,
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左岸
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PostPosted: 2006-12-04 05:09:20    Post subject: Reply with quote

维鹿延 wrote:
有些诗,短短几句,却胜有千言。

再次谢谢!
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杯中冲浪
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PostPosted: 2006-12-04 06:51:44    Post subject: Reply with quote

最后一个我最欣赏,可惜结尾不是太好,没有深下去。
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了因大兄
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PostPosted: 2006-12-06 18:41:52    Post subject: Reply with quote

■黑鹰


现在我要描述的是一只黑鹰
从二千米高处滑落,对于天空来说
只不过少了一粒沙子
但大地,却多了一块需重新洗牌的夜

好,喜欢这首。大气。
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我不是树上的黑木耳,我被爱过
不能随随便便不回家
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1236932795
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左岸
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Joined: 12 Oct 2006
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Location: 中国大连
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PostPosted: 2006-12-07 04:04:19    Post subject: Reply with quote

北方狼 wrote:
最后一个我最欣赏,可惜结尾不是太好,没有深下去。

问好,狼是高手,能否帮助深入一下,当万分感激。
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左岸
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Joined: 12 Oct 2006
Posts: 215
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PostPosted: 2006-12-07 04:07:37    Post subject: Reply with quote

了因大兄 wrote:
■黑鹰


现在我要描述的是一只黑鹰
从二千米高处滑落,对于天空来说
只不过少了一粒沙子
但大地,却多了一块需重新洗牌的夜

好,喜欢这首。大气。

问好了因,谢谢指点,还希多批两下。握。
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kokho
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Joined: 30 Nov 2006
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PostPosted: 2006-12-07 12:02:28    Post subject: Reply with quote

■一片桦树叶

一片硕大的桦树叶斜横着,叶面上
茎脉布满生命的轨迹。好奇的我把它凑到耳边
一阵车轮奔驰的声音由远而近,我不知道
在我这里有没有一站

《》喜欢这首,看过了很多诗歌形象蒙太奇。。
第一次看到 音响蒙太奇;))


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