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Maple Review Home -> 西方文学　Western Literature

The Rain of Autumn

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2006-11-06 09:56:30 Post subject: The Rain of Autumn

The Rain of Autumn Drips, drips rain is telling me Deep autumn has come bustling for this season “What are you doing? Do you want to water the snowflake?” I enswathe my dust coat and wait, in the desolation garden, I wait for the chill to bloom white flowers

和平岛
举人

Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 1277
Location: Victoria, Canada
和平岛Collection

Posted: 2006-11-06 15:14:48 Post subject:

很精致的一首小诗 _________________ 写诗是为了写更好的诗

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2006-11-06 20:38:58 Post subject:

thanks for your encouragement. it's just a instantaneous feeling

kokho
进士出身

Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
kokhoCollection

Posted: 2006-12-05 13:14:53 Post subject:

The Rain of Autumn Drips, drips ... Deep autumn has come bustling. The rain says, “What are you doing? Do you really want to wet the snowflake?” Enswathing my dust coat and waited, in the desolate garden ... Will the chill blooms white flowers? . _________________ 乒乓、摄影、诗歌

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2006-12-05 17:06:58 Post subject:

kokho wrote:

The Rain of Autumn

Drips, drips ...
Deep autumn has
come bustling.

The rain says,
“What are you doing?
Do you really want to wet the snowflake?”

Enswathing my dust coat and
waited, in the desolate garden ...

Will he chill
blooms white flowers?

.

谢谢你. 经你修改后诗歌韵味增强了, 末段也因拟人化使诗歌多了几分灵动.
Enswathing my dust coat and
waited, in the desolate garden ...
只是不太清楚waited你为何加ED?

kokho
进士出身

Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
kokhoCollection

Posted: 2006-12-06 10:54:15 Post subject:

月光 wrote:

当诗人也已不再那里等着。。不是更desolate 了吗？

。。
_________________
乒乓、摄影、诗歌

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2006-12-06 18:31:37 Post subject:

kokho wrote:

月光 wrote:

当诗人也已不再那里等着。。不是更desolate 了吗？

。。

哎! 我好不容易被朋友的金玉良言从UPSET中拉出来, 你怎么又把我送回去了...... Crying or Very sad

kokho
进士出身

Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
kokhoCollection

Posted: 2006-12-07 12:17:44 Post subject:

Will the chill blooms white flowers? 才是高潮。。。为了这个高潮，那个诗人的存在，并不需要　；））。。 _________________ 乒乓、摄影、诗歌

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2006-12-08 10:02:00 Post subject:

kokho wrote:

Will the chill
blooms white flowers?

才是高潮。。。为了这个高潮，那个诗人的存在，并不需要　；））

。。

YEAH， YOU ARE RIGHT， NOW I SEE

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