白水
大学士
zhùcèshíjiān: 2006-10-02
tièzǐ: 14102
láizì: TORONTO
白水běiměifēngwénjí |
 fābiǎoyú: 2006-11-06 09:56:30 fābiǎozhùtí: The Rain of Autumn |
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The Rain of Autumn
Drips, drips
rain is telling me
Deep autumn has come
bustling for this season
“What are you doing?
Do you want to water the snowflake?”
I enswathe my dust coat and
wait, in the desolation garden,
I wait for the chill
to bloom white flowers |
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和平岛
举人
zhùcèshíjiān: 2006-05-25
tièzǐ: 1277
láizì: Victoria, Canada
和平岛běiměifēngwénjí |
| fābiǎoyú: 2006-11-06 15:14:48 fābiǎozhùtí: |
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很精致的一首小诗
_________________
写诗是为了写更好的诗 |
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白水
大学士
zhùcèshíjiān: 2006-10-02
tièzǐ: 14102
láizì: TORONTO
白水běiměifēngwénjí |
| fābiǎoyú: 2006-11-06 20:38:58 fābiǎozhùtí: |
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| thanks for your encouragement. it's just a instantaneous feeling |
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kokho
进士出身
zhùcèshíjiān: 2006-11-30
tièzǐ: 2642
láizì: Singapore
kokhoběiměifēngwénjí |
| fābiǎoyú: 2006-12-05 13:14:53 fābiǎozhùtí: |
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The Rain of Autumn
Drips, drips ...
Deep autumn has
come bustling.
The rain says,
“What are you doing?
Do you really want to wet the snowflake?”
Enswathing my dust coat and
waited, in the desolate garden ...
Will the chill
blooms white flowers?
.
_________________
乒乓、摄影、诗歌 |
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白水
大学士
zhùcèshíjiān: 2006-10-02
tièzǐ: 14102
láizì: TORONTO
白水běiměifēngwénjí |
| fābiǎoyú: 2006-12-05 17:06:58 fābiǎozhùtí: |
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| kokho xièdào: |
The Rain of Autumn
Drips, drips ...
Deep autumn has
come bustling.
The rain says,
“What are you doing?
Do you really want to wet the snowflake?”
Enswathing my dust coat and
waited, in the desolate garden ...
Will he chill
blooms white flowers?
. |
谢谢你. 经你修改后诗歌韵味增强了, 末段也因拟人化使诗歌多了几分灵动.
Enswathing my dust coat and
waited, in the desolate garden ...
只是不太清楚waited你为何加ED? |
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| fǎnyèshǒu |
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kokho
进士出身
zhùcèshíjiān: 2006-11-30
tièzǐ: 2642
láizì: Singapore
kokhoběiměifēngwénjí |
| fābiǎoyú: 2006-12-06 10:54:15 fābiǎozhùtí: |
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| 月光 xièdào: |
谢谢你. 经你修改后诗歌韵味增强了, 末段也因拟人化使诗歌多了几分灵动.
Enswathing my dust coat and
waited, in the desolate garden ...
只是不太清楚waited你为何加ED? |
当诗人 也已不再那里等着。。 不是更desolate 了吗？
。。
_________________
乒乓、摄影、诗歌 |
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白水
大学士
zhùcèshíjiān: 2006-10-02
tièzǐ: 14102
láizì: TORONTO
白水běiměifēngwénjí |
| fābiǎoyú: 2006-12-06 18:31:37 fābiǎozhùtí: |
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| kokho xièdào: |
| 月光 xièdào: |
谢谢你. 经你修改后诗歌韵味增强了, 末段也因拟人化使诗歌多了几分灵动.
Enswathing my dust coat and
waited, in the desolate garden ...
只是不太清楚waited你为何加ED? |
当诗人 也已不再那里等着。。 不是更desolate 了吗？
。。 |
哎! 我好不容易被朋友的金玉良言从UPSET中拉出来, 你怎么又把我送回去了......  |
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kokho
进士出身
zhùcèshíjiān: 2006-11-30
tièzǐ: 2642
láizì: Singapore
kokhoběiměifēngwénjí |
| fābiǎoyú: 2006-12-07 12:17:44 fābiǎozhùtí: |
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Will the chill
blooms white flowers?
才是高潮。。。为了这个高潮，那个诗人的存在，并不需要 ；））
。。
_________________
乒乓、摄影、诗歌 |
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| fǎnyèshǒu |
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白水
大学士
zhùcèshíjiān: 2006-10-02
tièzǐ: 14102
láizì: TORONTO
白水běiměifēngwénjí |
| fābiǎoyú: 2006-12-08 10:02:00 fābiǎozhùtí: |
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| kokho xièdào: |
Will the chill
blooms white flowers?
才是高潮。。。为了这个高潮，那个诗人的存在，并不需要 ；））
。。 |
YEAH， YOU ARE RIGHT， NOW I SEE |
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