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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-06 21:09:49    Post subject: 望海 Reply with quote

望海
文/半溪明月


罗莎,多么温柔的女神
携着海风呼啸而来
掀起滔天巨浪

我张开双臂
牵动红色的纱巾
放飞,象风筝一样

驾一匹奔腾的海浪
颠簸在癫狂的顶峰

我不是弄潮儿

沉入你的怀中疯狂死掉
或者,就在岸边观望?




无题一

我的心变成石头了
见到你,能这样确定
真好,一切都维持着原样
我们什么都没说

无题二

秋进尾声。桂花枯萎
暗香已过。风渐猛......

昨夜,枝头喧嚣
鸟都飞远,有影无踪

我只是看客
静看花落
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hepingdao
Site Admin


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection
PostPosted: 2007-10-07 08:49:42    Post subject: Reply with quote

我的心变成石头了
见到你,能这样确定
真好,一切都维持着原样
我们什么都没说

Very Happy
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为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫!
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-07 15:59:16    Post subject: Reply with quote

不错。问候诗人!
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走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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William Zhou周道模
探花


Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-07 16:17:36    Post subject: Reply with quote

第一首突破了女性的“温柔”,是宣泄强烈情感“很男性”的好诗。标题和结尾一句可以考虑修改。
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诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-07 23:54:23    Post subject: Reply with quote

hepingdao wrote:
我的心变成石头了
见到你,能这样确定
真好,一切都维持着原样
我们什么都没说

Very Happy

给一个老师看了最近写的几首随感,他说这首是最好的~
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-07 23:57:21    Post subject: Reply with quote

杨海军 wrote:
不错。问候诗人!

问好海军诗人~
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-08 00:00:29    Post subject: Reply with quote

William Zhou周道模 wrote:
第一首突破了女性的“温柔”,是宣泄强烈情感“很男性”的好诗。标题和结尾一句可以考虑修改。


你给改改?问好周!
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许蔚
童生


Joined: 07 Jan 2007
Posts: 68

许蔚Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-08 00:22:46    Post subject: Reply with quote

次半溪明月无题

秋风猛
昨夜枝喧
鸟飞远
影无踪
静观花落



呵呵,一笑!
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sgb
童生


Joined: 18 Sep 2007
Posts: 8

sgbCollection
PostPosted: 2007-10-08 00:47:36    Post subject: 呵呵 Reply with quote

你可以挥动丝巾,我们这里可是狂风暴雨,扫了诗意了,呵呵
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-08 07:00:10    Post subject: Re: 呵呵 Reply with quote

sgb wrote:
你可以挥动丝巾,我们这里可是狂风暴雨,扫了诗意了,呵呵

赫赫,那就挥丝巾吧,把纱巾扔了~
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-08 07:04:20    Post subject: Reply with quote

许蔚 wrote:
次半溪明月无题

秋风猛
昨夜枝喧
鸟飞远
影无踪
静观花落



呵呵,一笑!


谢谢许蔚的诗~ Very Happy
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kokho
进士出身


Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
kokhoCollection
PostPosted: 2007-10-18 14:23:23    Post subject: Reply with quote



还是 太过沉迷 我。。。

好诗,和诗人的 ego 无关 :)

。。
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乒乓、摄影、诗歌
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nobody
进士出身


Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection
PostPosted: 2007-10-18 21:27:26    Post subject: Reply with quote

真好,一切都维持着原样

这里有感触。人总是追求向往一些不变的东西。对信仰的追求也如是。
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I'm nobody! Who are you?
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-18 21:40:36    Post subject: Reply with quote

kokho wrote:


还是 太过沉迷 我。。。

好诗,和诗人的 ego 无关 :)


。。



呵呵,感谢KOKHO的坦言,我会慢慢进步的~问好!
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-18 21:50:43    Post subject: Reply with quote

nobody wrote:
真好,一切都维持着原样

这里有感触。人总是追求向往一些不变的东西。对信仰的追求也如是。


NOBODY,每个人读诗的感触都不同吧,KOKHO说的没错,我的诗是太自我了,呵呵,不过我喜欢以这样的方式记录我的一些生活!我从不敢奢望要写出一首什么好诗~而且我写的也很随意,有些只能是随感了。我现在不刻意去写什么诗歌,有就写,没有就不写。
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赵雅君
童生


Joined: 07 Aug 2007
Posts: 99

赵雅君Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-19 03:22:35    Post subject: Reply with quote

品味半溪明月的两个短制,语言精练,颇具内涵,欣赏了。问好!
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-19 16:54:47    Post subject: Reply with quote

再提!!越读越有味!
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走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-22 08:47:11    Post subject: Reply with quote

感谢赵君和海军~ Very Happy
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吉祥女巫
童生


Joined: 12 Nov 2007
Posts: 63
Location: 江苏连云港
吉祥女巫Collection
PostPosted: 2007-11-13 17:21:01    Post subject: Reply with quote

淡定的心态,,欣赏了 问好
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白琳
童生


Joined: 29 May 2007
Posts: 75

白琳Collection
PostPosted: 2007-11-15 04:01:19    Post subject: Reply with quote

欣赏了,不错,问好明月!
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