半溪明月 榜眼
  
  Joined: 30 Sep 2006 Posts: 4760
  半溪明月Collection | 
		
		
			
				 Posted: 2007-10-06 21:09:49    Post subject: 望海 | 
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				望海 
 
文/半溪明月 
 
 
 
罗莎,多么温柔的女神 
 
携着海风呼啸而来 
 
掀起滔天巨浪 
 
 
我张开双臂 
 
牵动红色的纱巾 
 
放飞,象风筝一样 
 
 
驾一匹奔腾的海浪 
 
颠簸在癫狂的顶峰 
 
 
我不是弄潮儿 
 
 
沉入你的怀中疯狂死掉 
 
或者,就在岸边观望? 
 
 
 
 
 
无题一 
 
 
我的心变成石头了 
 
见到你,能这样确定 
 
真好,一切都维持着原样 
 
我们什么都没说 
 
 
无题二 
 
 
秋进尾声。桂花枯萎 
 
暗香已过。风渐猛...... 
 
 
昨夜,枝头喧嚣 
 
鸟都飞远,有影无踪 
 
 
我只是看客 
 
静看花落 | 
			 
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		hepingdao Site Admin
  
  Joined: 25 May 2006 Posts: 8106
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				 Posted: 2007-10-07 08:49:42    Post subject:  | 
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				我的心变成石头了 
 
见到你,能这样确定 
 
真好,一切都维持着原样 
 
我们什么都没说 
 
 
   _________________ 为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫! | 
			 
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		杨海军 进士出身
 
  Joined: 01 Mar 2007 Posts: 2205 Location: 吉林 杨海军Collection | 
		
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		William Zhou周道模 探花
 
  Joined: 10 Jun 2007 Posts: 3950 Location: 中国四川广汉 William Zhou周道模Collection | 
		
		
			
				 Posted: 2007-10-07 16:17:36    Post subject:  | 
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				第一首突破了女性的“温柔”,是宣泄强烈情感“很男性”的好诗。标题和结尾一句可以考虑修改。 _________________ 诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
 
                                       周道模 | 
			 
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		半溪明月 榜眼
  
  Joined: 30 Sep 2006 Posts: 4760
  半溪明月Collection | 
		
		
			
				 Posted: 2007-10-07 23:54:23    Post subject:  | 
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	  | hepingdao wrote: | 
	 
	
	  我的心变成石头了 
 
见到你,能这样确定 
 
真好,一切都维持着原样 
 
我们什么都没说 
 
 
   | 
	 
 
 
给一个老师看了最近写的几首随感,他说这首是最好的~ | 
			 
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		半溪明月 榜眼
  
  Joined: 30 Sep 2006 Posts: 4760
  半溪明月Collection | 
		
		
			
				 Posted: 2007-10-07 23:57:21    Post subject:  | 
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问好海军诗人~ | 
			 
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		半溪明月 榜眼
  
  Joined: 30 Sep 2006 Posts: 4760
  半溪明月Collection | 
		
		
			
				 Posted: 2007-10-08 00:00:29    Post subject:  | 
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	  | William Zhou周道模 wrote: | 
	 
	
	  | 第一首突破了女性的“温柔”,是宣泄强烈情感“很男性”的好诗。标题和结尾一句可以考虑修改。 | 
	 
 
 
 
你给改改?问好周! | 
			 
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		许蔚 童生
 
  Joined: 07 Jan 2007 Posts: 68
  许蔚Collection | 
		
		
			
				 Posted: 2007-10-08 00:22:46    Post subject:  | 
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				次半溪明月无题
 
 
秋风猛
 
昨夜枝喧
 
鸟飞远
 
影无踪
 
静观花落
 
 
 
 
呵呵,一笑! | 
			 
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		sgb 童生
 
  Joined: 18 Sep 2007 Posts: 8
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				 Posted: 2007-10-08 00:47:36    Post subject: 呵呵 | 
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				| 你可以挥动丝巾,我们这里可是狂风暴雨,扫了诗意了,呵呵 | 
			 
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		半溪明月 榜眼
  
  Joined: 30 Sep 2006 Posts: 4760
  半溪明月Collection | 
		
		
			
				 Posted: 2007-10-08 07:00:10    Post subject: Re: 呵呵 | 
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	  | sgb wrote: | 
	 
	
	  | 你可以挥动丝巾,我们这里可是狂风暴雨,扫了诗意了,呵呵 | 
	 
 
 
赫赫,那就挥丝巾吧,把纱巾扔了~ | 
			 
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		半溪明月 榜眼
  
  Joined: 30 Sep 2006 Posts: 4760
  半溪明月Collection | 
		
		
			
				 Posted: 2007-10-08 07:04:20    Post subject:  | 
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	  | 许蔚 wrote: | 
	 
	
	  次半溪明月无题
 
 
秋风猛
 
昨夜枝喧
 
鸟飞远
 
影无踪
 
静观花落
 
 
 
 
呵呵,一笑! | 
	 
 
 
 
谢谢许蔚的诗~   | 
			 
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		kokho 进士出身
  
  Joined: 30 Nov 2006 Posts: 2642 Location: Singapore kokhoCollection | 
		
		
			
				 Posted: 2007-10-18 14:23:23    Post subject:  | 
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				。
 
 
还是 太过沉迷 我。。。
 
 
好诗,和诗人的 ego 无关  :)
 
 
。。 _________________ 乒乓、摄影、诗歌 | 
			 
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		nobody 进士出身
 
  Joined: 31 Dec 2006 Posts: 2651 Location: Madtown nobodyCollection | 
		
		
			
				 Posted: 2007-10-18 21:27:26    Post subject:  | 
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				真好,一切都维持着原样 
 
 
这里有感触。人总是追求向往一些不变的东西。对信仰的追求也如是。 _________________ I'm nobody! Who are you? | 
			 
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		半溪明月 榜眼
  
  Joined: 30 Sep 2006 Posts: 4760
  半溪明月Collection | 
		
		
			
				 Posted: 2007-10-18 21:40:36    Post subject:  | 
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	  | kokho wrote: | 
	 
	
	  。
 
 
还是 太过沉迷 我。。。
 
 
好诗,和诗人的 ego 无关  :)
 
 
 
。。 | 
	 
 
 
 
 
呵呵,感谢KOKHO的坦言,我会慢慢进步的~问好! | 
			 
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		半溪明月 榜眼
  
  Joined: 30 Sep 2006 Posts: 4760
  半溪明月Collection | 
		
		
			
				 Posted: 2007-10-18 21:50:43    Post subject:  | 
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	  | nobody wrote: | 
	 
	
	  真好,一切都维持着原样 
 
 
这里有感触。人总是追求向往一些不变的东西。对信仰的追求也如是。 | 
	 
 
 
 
NOBODY,每个人读诗的感触都不同吧,KOKHO说的没错,我的诗是太自我了,呵呵,不过我喜欢以这样的方式记录我的一些生活!我从不敢奢望要写出一首什么好诗~而且我写的也很随意,有些只能是随感了。我现在不刻意去写什么诗歌,有就写,没有就不写。 | 
			 
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		赵雅君 童生
 
  Joined: 07 Aug 2007 Posts: 99
  赵雅君Collection | 
		
		
			
				 Posted: 2007-10-19 03:22:35    Post subject:  | 
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				| 品味半溪明月的两个短制,语言精练,颇具内涵,欣赏了。问好! | 
			 
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		杨海军 进士出身
 
  Joined: 01 Mar 2007 Posts: 2205 Location: 吉林 杨海军Collection | 
		
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		半溪明月 榜眼
  
  Joined: 30 Sep 2006 Posts: 4760
  半溪明月Collection | 
		
		
			
				 Posted: 2007-10-22 08:47:11    Post subject:  | 
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				感谢赵君和海军~   | 
			 
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		吉祥女巫 童生
 
  Joined: 12 Nov 2007 Posts: 63 Location: 江苏连云港 吉祥女巫Collection | 
		
		
			
				 Posted: 2007-11-13 17:21:01    Post subject:  | 
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				| 淡定的心态,,欣赏了   问好 | 
			 
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		白琳 童生
 
  Joined: 29 May 2007 Posts: 75
  白琳Collection | 
		
		
			
				 Posted: 2007-11-15 04:01:19    Post subject:  | 
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				| 欣赏了,不错,问好明月! | 
			 
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