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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

半溪明月
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Joined: 30 Sep 2006
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半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2007-10-06 21:09:49 Post subject: 望海

望海文/半溪明月罗莎，多么温柔的女神携着海风呼啸而来掀起滔天巨浪我张开双臂牵动红色的纱巾放飞，象风筝一样驾一匹奔腾的海浪颠簸在癫狂的顶峰我不是弄潮儿沉入你的怀中疯狂死掉或者，就在岸边观望？无题一我的心变成石头了见到你,能这样确定真好，一切都维持着原样我们什么都没说无题二秋进尾声。桂花枯萎暗香已过。风渐猛...... 昨夜，枝头喧嚣鸟都飞远，有影无踪我只是看客静看花落

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hepingdao
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Joined: 25 May 2006
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Posted: 2007-10-07 08:49:42 Post subject:

我的心变成石头了见到你,能这样确定真好，一切都维持着原样我们什么都没说 _________________ 为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫!

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杨海军
进士出身

Joined: 01 Mar 2007
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Posted: 2007-10-07 15:59:16 Post subject:

不错。问候诗人！ _________________ 走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮 ——拙作《离开村庄》 http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751

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William Zhou周道模
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Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
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Posted: 2007-10-07 16:17:36 Post subject:

第一首突破了女性的“温柔”，是宣泄强烈情感“很男性”的好诗。标题和结尾一句可以考虑修改。 _________________ 诗歌是灵魂的歌唱. 周道模

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半溪明月
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Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2007-10-07 23:54:23 Post subject:

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hepingdao wrote:

我的心变成石头了
见到你,能这样确定
真好，一切都维持着原样
我们什么都没说

Very Happy

Very Happy

给一个老师看了最近写的几首随感，他说这首是最好的~

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半溪明月
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Joined: 30 Sep 2006
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Posted: 2007-10-07 23:57:21 Post subject:

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杨海军 wrote:

不错。问候诗人！

问好海军诗人~

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半溪明月
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Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

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Posted: 2007-10-08 00:00:29 Post subject:

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William Zhou周道模 wrote:

第一首突破了女性的“温柔”，是宣泄强烈情感“很男性”的好诗。标题和结尾一句可以考虑修改。

你给改改?问好周!

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许蔚
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Joined: 07 Jan 2007
Posts: 68

许蔚Collection

Posted: 2007-10-08 00:22:46 Post subject:

次半溪明月无题秋风猛昨夜枝喧鸟飞远影无踪静观花落呵呵，一笑！

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sgb
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Joined: 18 Sep 2007
Posts: 8

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Posted: 2007-10-08 00:47:36 Post subject: 呵呵

你可以挥动丝巾，我们这里可是狂风暴雨，扫了诗意了，呵呵

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半溪明月
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Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

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Posted: 2007-10-08 07:00:10 Post subject: Re: 呵呵

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sgb wrote:

你可以挥动丝巾，我们这里可是狂风暴雨，扫了诗意了，呵呵

赫赫，那就挥丝巾吧，把纱巾扔了～

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半溪明月
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Joined: 30 Sep 2006
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Posted: 2007-10-08 07:04:20 Post subject:

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许蔚 wrote:

次半溪明月无题

秋风猛
昨夜枝喧
鸟飞远
影无踪
静观花落

呵呵，一笑！

谢谢许蔚的诗～

Very Happy

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kokho
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Joined: 30 Nov 2006
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Location: Singapore
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Posted: 2007-10-18 14:23:23 Post subject:

。还是太过沉迷我。。。好诗，和诗人的 ego 无关：）。。 _________________ 乒乓、摄影、诗歌

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nobody
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Joined: 31 Dec 2006
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Posted: 2007-10-18 21:27:26 Post subject:

真好，一切都维持着原样这里有感触。人总是追求向往一些不变的东西。对信仰的追求也如是。 _________________ I'm nobody! Who are you?

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半溪明月
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Joined: 30 Sep 2006
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Posted: 2007-10-18 21:40:36 Post subject:

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kokho wrote:

。

还是太过沉迷我。。。

好诗，和诗人的 ego 无关：）

。。

呵呵，感谢KOKHO的坦言，我会慢慢进步的~问好！

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半溪明月
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Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

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Posted: 2007-10-18 21:50:43 Post subject:

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nobody wrote:

真好，一切都维持着原样

这里有感触。人总是追求向往一些不变的东西。对信仰的追求也如是。

NOBODY，每个人读诗的感触都不同吧，KOKHO说的没错，我的诗是太自我了，呵呵，不过我喜欢以这样的方式记录我的一些生活！我从不敢奢望要写出一首什么好诗~而且我写的也很随意，有些只能是随感了。我现在不刻意去写什么诗歌，有就写，没有就不写。

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赵雅君
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Joined: 07 Aug 2007
Posts: 99

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Posted: 2007-10-19 03:22:35 Post subject:

品味半溪明月的两个短制，语言精练，颇具内涵，欣赏了。问好！

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杨海军
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Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
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Posted: 2007-10-19 16:54:47 Post subject:

再提！！越读越有味！ _________________ 走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮 ——拙作《离开村庄》 http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751

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半溪明月
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Joined: 30 Sep 2006
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Posted: 2007-10-22 08:47:11 Post subject:

感谢赵君和海军～

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吉祥女巫
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Joined: 12 Nov 2007
Posts: 63
Location: 江苏连云港
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Posted: 2007-11-13 17:21:01 Post subject:

淡定的心态,,欣赏了问好

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白琳
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Joined: 29 May 2007
Posts: 75

白琳Collection

Posted: 2007-11-15 04:01:19 Post subject:

欣赏了,不错,问好明月!

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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