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秋一个
天一黑
童生


Joined: 30 Aug 2007
Posts: 52

天一黑Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-19 19:57:15    Post subject: 秋一个 Reply with quote

那又怎样


秋落在水晶,
一个光线有了家

做了长亭木櫈,
给每一个露珠上
点一个天空

一个水晶,
有许多天空
一个秋天
有许多水晶

有双忧郁的眼睛,她说,
那又怎么样,世界本来就有无数天空
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-19 20:07:43    Post subject: Reply with quote

这首比较喜欢了. 前几首象是和大家开心 Very Happy
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天一黑
童生


Joined: 30 Aug 2007
Posts: 52

天一黑Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-19 20:22:39    Post subject: Reply with quote

一直都没有进入诗态,这首也不好,是聊天聊的
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-19 20:29:29    Post subject: Reply with quote

那就等下一首吧
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kokho
进士出身


Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
kokhoCollection
PostPosted: 2007-09-20 12:23:01    Post subject: Reply with quote

这首 非常精彩。。

“每个露珠 都有自己的天空”

还有哲思 和多义的可能。。

向白水斑竹建议 能否挂起来 让大家讨论?

[ 朋友 一起来回贴哟。。。]


_________________
乒乓、摄影、诗歌
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