非马
秀才
Joined: 22 Jun 2006
Posts: 907
Location: 芝加哥
非马Collection |
 Posted: 2007-09-01 06:49:07 Post subject: 皱纹 WRINKLES |
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皱纹
白天
密布在你漠漠脸上
这些时间的运河
是乾涸的
只偶而有风砂
飒飒横过
但每夜
水自深处汹汹涌起
漫出眼睛的古井
将它们一一注满
而你便如首次出航的水手
兴奋地驾起
破旧的记忆之舟
在这没有出口的迷阵里
左冲右突
直到天明
WRINKLES
during the day
these canals of time crisscrossing
your indifferent face
are dry
only occasionally the wind
blows sand across
but at night
water rises from the deep well
of your eyes
overflows and fills them
then like a first-time sailor
you set the ragged sail of your boat
of memory
jostling about all night
in the labyrinth that has no outlet
till dawn
_________________
欢迎访问<非马艺术世界>
http://feima.yidian.org/bmz.htm |
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白水
大学士
Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection |
| Posted: 2007-09-01 07:15:15 Post subject: |
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这首诗歌内敛而深省. 初始引而不发, 末段却让人如读海明威的<老人与海>. 而那注满的汹涌, 自然而然的流淌着令人感动衔接.
问好非马老师 |
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jemmy
秀才
Joined: 06 Jun 2007
Posts: 414
Location: china
jemmyCollection |
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博弈
榜眼
Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection |
| Posted: 2007-09-01 14:46:34 Post subject: |
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不錯,沉歛而蓄勢.
感覺英文版的段與段間的銜接--巧, 有點律詩'黏'的概念.
覺得.某些字語組合似還可以再修得不露語法痕跡.
比較喜歡中文版的, 用字平簡而成熟.
個見.
_________________
（在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美） |
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kokho
进士出身
Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
kokhoCollection |
| Posted: 2007-09-03 23:37:07 Post subject: |
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| 博弈 wrote: |
不錯,沉歛而蓄勢.
感覺英文版的段與段間的銜接--巧, 有點律詩'黏'的概念.
覺得.某些字語組合似還可以再修得不露語法痕跡.
比較喜歡中文版的, 用字平簡而成熟.
個見. |
支持 ：）
。。
_________________
乒乓、摄影、诗歌 |
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William Zhou周道模
探花
Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection |
| Posted: 2007-09-17 06:42:53 Post subject: |
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浪游归来，又读非马；汉诗英诗，引我前行！
_________________
诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
周道模 |
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