Maple Review Home
   Chinese Literature Society of North America | Maple Review | Immigrants in Canada | Angel Studio | The Driftwood Artist Society | Ocean of Poetry | Island of Music
"HuaHe Cup" 2007 Chinese Mainland and Oversea Poetry Competition and Non-governmental Magazines and Newspapers Joint Exhibition starts on the first day of 2007.
  
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister  ProfileProfile    Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Sign inSign in   BlogsBlogs    Weblogs NewsWeblogs News   AlbumAlbum 
English Home Bilingual Home Chinese Home
Dictionary Check Poems' Rules & Forms Search for Chinese Poems Poetry & Music

Maple Review Home -> 西方文学 Western Literature Post new topic   Reply to topic
"Fin-De-Siècle" by Chris Hutchinson
戴玨
秀才


Joined: 03 Jan 2007
Posts: 808

戴玨Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-02 06:51:13    Post subject: "Fin-De-Siècle" by Chris Hutchinson Reply with quote

Fin-De-Siècle
by Chris Hutchinson

No tears. You can’t entreat this feeling
to come forth, to lift above your oesophagus and
turn to fluid grief. Your tongue is chalk and the air,
the reverberating crystal of a wine glass someone rubs
a wet thumb along, a hum whose colour eclipses
these thin conversations about sex poorly disguised
as cultivated desire. This all takes place at a party
constantly played-out in some future time you have
invented, where your present needs have been replaced
by deep-seated and trivial regrets. Your guests
wear the occult glow of the well-fed and spiritually
tormented. What no one sees: In the mirror above
the bookshelf where the Poetical Works of Keats decomposes
to blonde motes of dust, a shadow grows of your body
as it appears today, as dark water light gutters over
from a moon made of salt, a moon of fear, a hollow
form the night runs its cold thumb along—
as a single violin plays its single note
across the years.

頹廢
克瑞斯?哈齊森

沒有眼淚,你不能乞求這種感覺
涌現,升至食道以上而且
變成流體的悲痛。你的舌頭是粉筆與空氣,
是高腳杯的水晶玻璃,被人用濕拇指擦過發出回響,
是一種哼唱,其音色使這些膚淺的談話
顯得乏味,談論性卻要拙劣地掩飾為
高雅的欲望。這都發生於一個
不斷在你虛構的某個未來時間裏演繹的
聚會中,在那裏你現在的需求
已被由來已久的,瑣碎的懊悔所取代。你的客人
戴有豐衣足食而精神受折磨者隱密的
光彩。有些東西沒人看到:那書架,
裏面濟慈詩集腐爛成了棕黃色的塵埃,在它上方
的鏡子裏,你的身體像今天一樣,
但它的影子,當暗淡的水光流淌而過,漸漸擴大;
那光流自一個鹽做的月亮,一個恐懼之月,一個
空洞的形體,夜用它冰冷的拇指在上面拭拂 -
就像一把小提琴經年拉著
一個單音。
_________________
I labour by singing light
我的blog
我的專欄
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Blog
kokho
进士出身


Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
kokhoCollection
PostPosted: 2007-08-02 09:39:56    Post subject: Reply with quote

runs its cold thumb along - along

用它冰冷的拇指在上面拭拂 - 上面拭拂

《》是否加了料 ?也没有中文诗歌的韵味 ;)
_________________
乒乓、摄影、诗歌
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Blog
戴玨
秀才


Joined: 03 Jan 2007
Posts: 808

戴玨Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-02 13:52:50    Post subject: Reply with quote

這句說夜的拇指沿著那月亮飛快的移動,我用拭拂是想照應後面拉小提琴的比喻。
_________________
I labour by singing light
我的blog
我的專欄
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Blog
kino
秀才


Joined: 23 Dec 2006
Posts: 411
Location: beijing
kinoCollection
PostPosted: 2007-08-02 17:52:11    Post subject: Reply with quote

是某人用濕拇指擦過的一個酒杯那回響的水晶玻璃,
是一種嗡嗡聲,它的色調使這些有關性的
卻又被拙劣地掩飾成有教養的欲望的淺薄談話

——————这几句有点冗长,可否断开?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Blog Visit poster's website
戴玨
秀才


Joined: 03 Jan 2007
Posts: 808

戴玨Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-02 23:41:27    Post subject: Reply with quote

kino wrote:
是某人用濕拇指擦過的一個酒杯那回響的水晶玻璃,
是一種嗡嗡聲,它的色調使這些有關性的
卻又被拙劣地掩飾成有教養的欲望的淺薄談話

——————这几句有点冗长,可否断开?

你說到點子上了,這段最令我頭疼! Confused Confused
_________________
I labour by singing light
我的blog
我的專欄
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Blog
戴玨
秀才


Joined: 03 Jan 2007
Posts: 808

戴玨Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-03 00:10:31    Post subject: Reply with quote

...你的舌頭是白土與空氣,
是一個酒杯的水晶玻璃,有人用濕拇指擦過引起回響,
是一種嗡嗡聲,它的色調使這些淺薄談話
顯得黯然失色,談論性卻又拙劣地掩飾成
有教養的欲望。...

這樣改會不會好點?
_________________
I labour by singing light
我的blog
我的專欄
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Blog
kino
秀才


Joined: 23 Dec 2006
Posts: 411
Location: beijing
kinoCollection
PostPosted: 2007-08-03 17:57:37    Post subject: Reply with quote

这两句确实很难搞定,我弄了一下,权且看看。

he reverberating crystal of a wine glass someone rubs
是沾湿的拇指摩擦高脚杯发出的回响
a wet thumb along, a hum whose colour eclipses
是一种低吟,竟掩盖了那些轻浮的谈话
these thin conversations about sex poorly disguised
笨拙地将性伪装成高尚的欲望

但是这样一来,前后句子都要作调整,有点不够“信”了。老戴再考虑一下。不过我觉得鉴于汉英语言的差别,和诗歌语言习惯的不同,译诗时,不能亦步亦趋,否则就真正戴上了镣铐,动弹不得。
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Blog Visit poster's website
kino
秀才


Joined: 23 Dec 2006
Posts: 411
Location: beijing
kinoCollection
PostPosted: 2007-08-03 18:00:04    Post subject: Reply with quote

crystal 应该说的是摩擦玻璃时发出的那种脆响。
wine glass 红酒杯,也就高脚杯
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Blog Visit poster's website
戴玨
秀才


Joined: 03 Jan 2007
Posts: 808

戴玨Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-04 09:04:08    Post subject: Reply with quote

kino wrote:
crystal 应该说的是摩擦玻璃时发出的那种脆响。

我最初是這樣翻的:

...你的舌頭是粉筆和空氣,
某人用濕拇指擦過一個酒杯清澈的回響,
那種嗡嗡聲,它的色調使這些有關性的
卻又拙劣地掩飾成有教養的欲望的談話
顯得黯然失色。...
Wink
不過crystal作名詞本身像是沒這意思,雖然詩意應該是這樣的。
kino wrote:
不过我觉得鉴于汉英语言的差别,和诗歌语言习惯的不同,译诗时,不能亦步亦趋,否则就真正戴上了镣铐,动弹不得。

這個當然,只是有時做起來難度不小。
考慮了一下:

... 你的舌頭是粉筆與空氣,
是高腳杯的水晶玻璃,被人用濕拇指擦過發出回響,
是一種哼唱,其音色使這些膚淺的談話
顯得乏味,談論性卻要拙劣地掩飾為
高雅的欲望。...
_________________
I labour by singing light
我的blog
我的專欄
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Blog
Display posts from previous:   
Emoticons
Very Happy Smile Sad Surprised
Shocked Confused Cool Laughing
Mad Razz Embarassed Crying or Very sad
Evil or Very Mad Twisted Evil Rolling Eyes Wink
Exclamation Question Idea Arrow
View more Emoticons
Page 1 of 1           View previous topic View next topic    
Maple Review Home -> 西方文学 Western Literature    Post new topic   Reply to topic
Jump to:  


Once you post your works here, that means you submits them to the magazine of Maple Review (North American Maple, or BeiMeiFeng), a bilingual journal published by Chinese Literature Society of North America. The magazine holds the right to translate them into Chinese, and publish them in both languages. You need to be responsible for the copyright issues of your own files uploaded.
Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group
phpBB Chinese interface was translated by iCy-fLaME