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[原创歌词] Welcome to Beijing
William Zhou周道模
探花


Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-23 23:51:29    Post subject: [原创歌词] Welcome to Beijing Reply with quote

Welcome to Beijing
by William Zhou
Welcome to Beijing
Birds in trees are singing
Welcome to Beijing
Kites in skies are flying

Welcome to green Beijing
Fresh flowers are smiling
Welcome to civil Beijing
Old buildings are waiting

Welcome to our homes
Together , talking and laughing
Welcome to our lives
Together , singing and dancing

Come to the capital of China
You can visit charming Beijing
Come to the dreamful Olympics
We are enjoying happy Beijing

05-08-2006 in Beijing
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Lake
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PostPosted: 2007-07-25 08:51:37    Post subject: Reply with quote

I dont' have much to critique, William.

But if you could put Chinese and English versions togeter, that might be an easy read for readers.

Here is one nitpick:

Young flowers?

I am not a big fan of end rhyme with -ing.

Just a thought.
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William Zhou周道模
探花


Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-25 16:31:07    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you, Lake!
the chinese words are also in this column, but they are not living together.
"young flowers" here maybe means "newborn flowers", is that right?
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Lake
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PostPosted: 2007-07-26 07:06:08    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi William,

I got the meaning, but just felt "young" did not fit here, not very poetic. I thought about other alternatives such as fresh, vibrant, budding, blooming...

For your reference only.

best,

Lake
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William Zhou周道模
探花


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Location: 中国四川广汉
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PostPosted: 2007-07-26 16:18:50    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ok! I wiil use "fresh" instead of "young",thank you, Lake!
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kokho
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PostPosted: 2007-07-29 13:43:23    Post subject: Reply with quote

问好 广汉地区 古文物很多呀 :))

。。
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William Zhou周道模
探花


Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-30 06:30:33    Post subject: Reply with quote

问好kokho,四川省广汉市有一个三星堆---古蜀国的古国古城古遗址文明,是长江文明的代表,和黄河文明一样有相同的辉煌。陶器、玉器、青铜器、金器等文物可以说辉煌灿烂!记得君在新加坡,你到过三星堆吗?
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Lake
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PostPosted: 2007-07-30 09:30:29    Post subject: Reply with quote

William Zhou周道模 wrote:
问好kokho,四川省广汉市有一个三星堆---古蜀国的古国古城古遗址文明,是长江文明的代表,和黄河文明一样有相同的辉煌。陶器、玉器、青铜器、金器等文物可以说辉煌灿烂!记得君在新加坡,你到过三星堆吗?


这下好了,请道模去看看评评 Kokho 有关“三星堆“的一篇文章。见链接:

http://oson.ca/viewtopic.php?t=1920

总是没腾出空来细读。而且,没去过,没有发言权。
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kokho
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PostPosted: 2007-07-30 10:31:40    Post subject: Reply with quote

sanxingdui 好地方 :))

最近 这些文物 到新加坡来展览 !!!



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William Zhou周道模
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PostPosted: 2007-07-30 15:45:05    Post subject: Reply with quote

我先看 KOKHO的文章,等几天挂两首三星堆的诗出来。
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