William Zhou周道模 探花
Joined: 10 Jun 2007 Posts: 3950 Location: 中国四川广汉 William Zhou周道模Collection |
Posted: 2007-07-23 23:51:29 Post subject: [原创歌词] Welcome to Beijing |
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Welcome to Beijing
by William Zhou
Welcome to Beijing
Birds in trees are singing
Welcome to Beijing
Kites in skies are flying
Welcome to green Beijing
Fresh flowers are smiling
Welcome to civil Beijing
Old buildings are waiting
Welcome to our homes
Together , talking and laughing
Welcome to our lives
Together , singing and dancing
Come to the capital of China
You can visit charming Beijing
Come to the dreamful Olympics
We are enjoying happy Beijing
05-08-2006 in Beijing _________________ 诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
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Lake 举人

Joined: 09 Jan 2007 Posts: 1286
LakeCollection |
Posted: 2007-07-25 08:51:37 Post subject: |
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I dont' have much to critique, William.
But if you could put Chinese and English versions togeter, that might be an easy read for readers.
Here is one nitpick:
Young flowers?
I am not a big fan of end rhyme with -ing.
Just a thought. _________________ the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins |
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William Zhou周道模 探花
Joined: 10 Jun 2007 Posts: 3950 Location: 中国四川广汉 William Zhou周道模Collection |
Posted: 2007-07-25 16:31:07 Post subject: |
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Thank you, Lake!
the chinese words are also in this column, but they are not living together.
"young flowers" here maybe means "newborn flowers", is that right? _________________ 诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
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Lake 举人

Joined: 09 Jan 2007 Posts: 1286
LakeCollection |
Posted: 2007-07-26 07:06:08 Post subject: |
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Hi William,
I got the meaning, but just felt "young" did not fit here, not very poetic. I thought about other alternatives such as fresh, vibrant, budding, blooming...
For your reference only.
best,
Lake _________________ the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins |
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William Zhou周道模 探花
Joined: 10 Jun 2007 Posts: 3950 Location: 中国四川广汉 William Zhou周道模Collection |
Posted: 2007-07-26 16:18:50 Post subject: |
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Ok! I wiil use "fresh" instead of "young",thank you, Lake! _________________ 诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
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kokho 进士出身

Joined: 30 Nov 2006 Posts: 2642 Location: Singapore kokhoCollection |
Posted: 2007-07-29 13:43:23 Post subject: |
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问好 广汉地区 古文物很多呀 :))
。。 _________________ 乒乓、摄影、诗歌 |
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William Zhou周道模 探花
Joined: 10 Jun 2007 Posts: 3950 Location: 中国四川广汉 William Zhou周道模Collection |
Posted: 2007-07-30 06:30:33 Post subject: |
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问好kokho,四川省广汉市有一个三星堆---古蜀国的古国古城古遗址文明,是长江文明的代表,和黄河文明一样有相同的辉煌。陶器、玉器、青铜器、金器等文物可以说辉煌灿烂!记得君在新加坡,你到过三星堆吗? _________________ 诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
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Lake 举人

Joined: 09 Jan 2007 Posts: 1286
LakeCollection |
Posted: 2007-07-30 09:30:29 Post subject: |
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| William Zhou周道模 wrote: |
| 问好kokho,四川省广汉市有一个三星堆---古蜀国的古国古城古遗址文明,是长江文明的代表,和黄河文明一样有相同的辉煌。陶器、玉器、青铜器、金器等文物可以说辉煌灿烂!记得君在新加坡,你到过三星堆吗? |
这下好了,请道模去看看评评 Kokho 有关“三星堆“的一篇文章。见链接:
http://oson.ca/viewtopic.php?t=1920
总是没腾出空来细读。而且,没去过,没有发言权。 _________________ the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins |
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kokho 进士出身

Joined: 30 Nov 2006 Posts: 2642 Location: Singapore kokhoCollection |
Posted: 2007-07-30 10:31:40 Post subject: |
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sanxingdui 好地方 :))
最近 这些文物 到新加坡来展览 !!!
。 _________________ 乒乓、摄影、诗歌 |
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William Zhou周道模 探花
Joined: 10 Jun 2007 Posts: 3950 Location: 中国四川广汉 William Zhou周道模Collection |
Posted: 2007-07-30 15:45:05 Post subject: |
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我先看 KOKHO的文章,等几天挂两首三星堆的诗出来。 _________________ 诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
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