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月光曲
奥冬
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Joined: 09 Mar 2007
Posts: 239
Location: 河北邢台
奥冬Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-10 17:05:28    Post subject: 月光曲 Reply with quote

1

翘檐引风,挽不住白云
天蓝蓝,欲滴欲滴而终不滴
痒痒的,月光在心里生芽

2

当寂寞来袭,便仰望
有蛙鸣坐在月光里
等恋人前来吟诗

3

爱是预言中的轮回
染上月光便开始发酵

两个城市之间,远隔千年

4

舀一瓢月光饮马
风尘重压着倦游的灵魂
蹄声的的,开在谁的梦中?

5

有蜻蜓一点再点
月光遂一圈圈洇开
淹没了谁的相思?

6

谁的梦盛不下相思
溢流了一地月光?

例如一个名字婷婷立在莲上

7

思念得久了
影子也被月光蒸发
在谁的梦里凝结成诗?

8

月光下美人鱼游来
整个世界屏住呼吸

四季渐渐削瘦

9

对月面壁
不觉已是千年
谁的心还在仰望?

10

在高低起伏的混凝土丛林里
游成一尾营养不良的鱼
霓虹照来,古老的月光蒸发殆尽



前三首曾以别的题目发过,或略有改动。浪费了大家的时间,在此致歉。
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金金
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Joined: 08 Feb 2007
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Location: 山东济宁
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PostPosted: 2007-07-10 22:35:11    Post subject: Reply with quote

问好奥冬,只要是真诚的作品,会有很多人喜欢的 :)
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奥冬
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Posts: 239
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奥冬Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-11 00:22:12    Post subject: Reply with quote

问好金金
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韩少君
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Joined: 06 Apr 2007
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PostPosted: 2007-07-11 01:09:24    Post subject: Reply with quote

我一直以为诗不厌改.
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靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345
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奥冬
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PostPosted: 2007-07-11 17:36:57    Post subject: Reply with quote

感谢韩兄欣赏,问好
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杨海军
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Joined: 01 Mar 2007
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PostPosted: 2007-07-11 18:34:43    Post subject: Reply with quote

很喜欢这种诗的意境!!
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走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
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阿依琼裙
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PostPosted: 2007-07-13 07:14:30    Post subject: Reply with quote

当寂寞来龚,便仰望


龚~~?是不是袭??
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金金
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PostPosted: 2007-07-14 00:27:59    Post subject: Reply with quote

再提!
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奥冬
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PostPosted: 2007-07-15 17:00:35    Post subject: Reply with quote

阿依琼裙 wrote:
当寂寞来龚,便仰望


龚~~?是不是袭??


是我粗心了,感谢诗友关注.
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奥冬
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PostPosted: 2007-07-15 17:03:15    Post subject: Reply with quote

感谢大家的欣赏与品读,一并问好
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荷梦
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PostPosted: 2007-07-15 17:42:36    Post subject: Reply with quote

有一些很灵动的诗句,喜欢!
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白水
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Joined: 02 Oct 2006
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PostPosted: 2007-07-15 18:18:41    Post subject: Reply with quote

淡雅, 清丽
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奥冬
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PostPosted: 2007-07-15 23:13:03    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢过两位朋友的品读,远握问好
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