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过夏天的孩子
杜洪涛
秀才


Joined: 22 Jun 2007
Posts: 101

杜洪涛Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-05 17:58:27    Post subject: 过夏天的孩子 Reply with quote

一、过夏天的孩子

你说什么
他也不穿衣服
给他穿上
他就地打起滚
脏了
再给他换一件
他又在地上打起滚
脱下来
母亲由他跑了出去
他还光着屁股
这么大热个天

二、一个故事
(听了一则广播后写下的游戏之作)

一只小鹿跑进了我的身体
老师,如果,我告诉了你
你会怎样?还会像往常一样
跟我谈笑风声吗?

我跑进你的屋子,推开门的刹那
脸红了,把写满小鹿心情的本子
塞给了你,而后头也不敢回地飞了出去
我听见了你在背后喊我的声音

之后,我一宿都在揣测
你会怎样,然后,怎样待我?
我是高兴呢,还是害怕呢,现在?
老师,我今天很奇怪吗?

一大早,我迫不及待地赶到教室
课余,还和大家开着玩笑
装出一副很平常的样子
老师,你怎么还没来呢?

你的授课时间——到了
和往常无异,谈笑风声
你和我一样在假装吗,老师?
你为什么不再走向我这边?

“你还是个孩子,要好好学习!”
老师,你找我就说这个吗?
“说出去,老师还怎么做人?”
老师,你怎么和我说这些呢?
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-05 19:51:04    Post subject: Reply with quote

很真实的情感, 可稍浓缩些
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金金
进士出身


Joined: 08 Feb 2007
Posts: 2035
Location: 山东济宁
金金Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-06 21:29:56    Post subject: Reply with quote

呵呵,写得好!大家都来看:)!!
_________________
http://blog.sina.com.cn/shirenjinjin
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-07 15:28:45    Post subject: Reply with quote

喜欢第二首!!多发帖啊!!
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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杜洪涛
秀才


Joined: 22 Jun 2007
Posts: 101

杜洪涛Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-07 23:02:15    Post subject: Reply with quote

各位写散文诗吗?发现看散文诗的人不怎么多啊?我贴了好几首,希望大家评论一下!
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