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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

最后一首诗－－献给我爱过的影

贝多芬
童生

Joined: 17 Mar 2007
Posts: 94
Location: 中国上海
贝多芬Collection

Posted: 2007-05-22 05:49:47 Post subject: 最后一首诗－－献给我爱过的影

＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝我生命的最后一首诗一定为你而作那些无辜的文字将承担我全部的悲伤悲伤一定来自心灵的某个伤口它悄悄化成眼泪降临人间在你的目光里凝聚成诗行我生命的最后一首诗一定无法流畅因为心灵的阵痛一次次打断了记忆的乐章＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝ _________________ 我是一片沉睡的海渴望苏醒的日子不会到来 http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1259454194

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2007-05-22 05:53:40 Post subject:

透悟, 感人.

杨海军
进士出身

Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection

Posted: 2007-05-22 16:57:53 Post subject:

稍显直白，但音乐感较强。问候诗人！！ _________________ 走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮 ——拙作《离开村庄》 http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751

司马策风
举人

Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 1211
Location: 温哥华
司马策风Collection

Posted: 2007-05-22 23:42:29 Post subject:

感染力强。语言流畅。富有音乐美。老兄莫非音乐家贝多芬转世，成了诗人？问好贝多芬 _________________ 《北美枫》司马策风文集 http://www.maplereview.org/best.php?t=8676

贝多芬
童生

Joined: 17 Mar 2007
Posts: 94
Location: 中国上海
贝多芬Collection

Posted: 2007-05-23 06:11:01 Post subject:

呵呵。。。。希望能成为转世成诗人的贝多芬。。。哈哈 _________________ 我是一片沉睡的海渴望苏醒的日子不会到来 http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1259454194

荧石
童生

Joined: 21 Mar 2007
Posts: 31

荧石Collection

Posted: 2007-05-23 19:29:10 Post subject: 朴实，自然，优美，谁说不流畅？

第二句可改成为你吟唱，韵悲伤。

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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