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道情(5)
ZY
秀才


Joined: 20 Feb 2007
Posts: 163
Location: 台北
ZYCollection
PostPosted: 2007-05-16 05:49:05    Post subject: 道情(5) Reply with quote

再往上,就是火口湖了
必须相信路标,相信时间
是冷却体温的唯一形式
岩层,在风底下,复习一个证明题

我捡拾的贝壳,在一多风的山巅
想必已经失去等待的信念
有鹰悬浮在远空,一直没变动姿态
我直立了望,希冀自己是一座石砌的塔

湖边的波浪斜斜拖动滩上散列的碎石
她们还不是沙子,所以还不平坦
对岸的山峰,在倒立后,已经不再凝重
水光里的树林,跟自己,继续打著孪生的结

5/13/2007
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陌生人遺落的足印們已經靜坐良久
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-16 06:10:00    Post subject: Reply with quote

这就是好诗!深沉而稳!!学习了!!
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走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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博弈
榜眼


Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-16 18:33:45    Post subject: Re: 道情(5) Reply with quote

ZY wrote:
再往上,就是火口湖了
必须相信路标,相信时间
是冷却体温的唯一形式

岩层,在风底下,复习一个证明题

我捡拾的贝壳,在一多风的山巅
想必已经失去等待的信念

有鹰悬浮在远空,一直没变动姿态
我直立了望,希冀自己是一座石砌的塔

湖边的波浪斜斜拖动滩上散列的碎石
她们还不是沙子,所以还不平坦
对岸的山峰,在倒立后,已经不再凝重
水光里的树林,跟自己,继续打著孪生的结

5/13/2007


喜欢诗人的视角!
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(在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美)
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ZY
秀才


Joined: 20 Feb 2007
Posts: 163
Location: 台北
ZYCollection
PostPosted: 2007-05-17 06:19:11    Post subject: Reply with quote

多谢海军兄博弈兄读评.
问好了.
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陌生人遺落的足印們已經靜坐良久
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韩少君
进士出身


Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-17 13:12:29    Post subject: Reply with quote

水光里的树林,跟自己,继续打著孪生的结

好观察。看到没想到,想到没写到。就是要写别人的不到!
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靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345
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ZY
秀才


Joined: 20 Feb 2007
Posts: 163
Location: 台北
ZYCollection
PostPosted: 2007-05-18 06:17:06    Post subject: Reply with quote

多谢韩少君鼓励.这还是我继续努力的方向.
问好了.
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陌生人遺落的足印們已經靜坐良久
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