Maple Review :: View topic - 车走了，载满我的忧伤 (原创新诗)

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

车走了，载满我的忧伤 (原创新诗)

272631759
童生

Joined: 07 Mar 2013
Posts: 23

272631759Collection

Posted: 2013-05-03 05:34:47 Post subject: 车走了，载满我的忧伤 (原创新诗)

在清晨七点二十分滨河东路对面，是站着一个左顾右盼的姑娘，双手拎着一个袋子顾步自怜，忽然一辆车遮住了我的视线，车走了，载满我的忧伤。车走了，载满我的忧伤，忽然一辆车遮住了我的视线，双手拎着一个袋子顾步自怜，是站着一个左顾右盼的姑娘，在清晨七点二十分滨河东路对面。

山城子
榜眼

Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 4771
Location: 中国贵州
山城子Collection

Posted: 2013-05-03 18:19:52 Post subject:

段落回环！ _________________ 诗是人生的雅伴儿。

272631759
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Joined: 07 Mar 2013
Posts: 23

272631759Collection

Posted: 2013-05-03 22:15:49 Post subject:

谢谢你的光临!这是我的一次尝试。 _________________ 以文会友。

一无
秀才

Joined: 20 Mar 2013
Posts: 576
Location: 中国
一无Collection

Posted: 2013-05-04 09:17:17 Post subject:

这样也是一个有趣的尝试。 _________________ 名心退尽道心生，如梦如仙句偶成。天籁自鸣天趣足，好诗不过近人情。 ———清张问陶 http://www.yizitong.org/weblog.php?w=397

272631759
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Joined: 07 Mar 2013
Posts: 23

272631759Collection

Posted: 2013-05-04 09:29:36 Post subject:

谢谢光临。欢迎指点。 _________________ 以文会友。

远狼
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Joined: 04 Nov 2012
Posts: 436
Location: 中国重庆
远狼Collection

Posted: 2013-05-05 00:12:24 Post subject:

第一次读到这种形式的诗，学习！ _________________ __________________________ 诗书短文章，潦草乃为狂。管他载道否，吾趣吾自张。 http://blog.sina.com.cn/huolu9

272631759
童生

Joined: 07 Mar 2013
Posts: 23

272631759Collection

Posted: 2013-05-05 13:24:59 Post subject:

谢谢远狼。 _________________ 以文会友。

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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