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北美楓 首頁 -> 西方文学 Western Literature 發錶新帖   回復帖子
At the moment
白水
大学士


註册時間: 2006-10-02
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來自: TORONTO
白水北美楓文集
帖子發錶於: 2013-03-30 12:42:30    發錶主題: At the moment 引用並回復

At the moment

A voice that whispers to me is from nowhere
"Never be sad of the moments
when a cat cries in the midnight
even it jumps into your yard."
the voice that whispers to me is from heaven
"Never be sad of the moments
when a snake bits you suddenly where you are walking alone a trail
even its mouth contains poison."
oh, my friends
at the moment, please say Cheers to red wine
sweet or bitter!
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William Zhou周道模
探花


註册時間: 2007-06-10
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來自: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模北美楓文集
帖子發錶於: 2013-03-30 20:28:21    發錶主題: 引用並回復

学习白水君!

请教一个问题:第一句中的“that”起什么作用?
_________________
诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
周道模
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qinghongh
榜眼


註册時間: 2007-10-14
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qinghongh北美楓文集
帖子發錶於: 2013-03-31 04:23:34    發錶主題: 引用並回復

白水兄的英文诗读来有韵味了!
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SLIU
秀才


註册時間: 2010-01-01
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SLIU北美楓文集
帖子發錶於: 2013-03-31 10:03:31    發錶主題: 引用並回復

“let us drink, no matter how sweet or bitter ”

Cheers!

cheers
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hepingdao
Site Admin


註册時間: 2006-05-25
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hepingdao北美楓文集
帖子發錶於: 2013-03-31 10:55:43    發錶主題: 引用並回復

A sound whispers to me:
"Don't be sad, even though a cat cries in your backyard at midnight."
It whispers again:
"Don't feel unfortunate, even when a snake gives you a poisonous bite on a trail."
oh, my friends, please say Cheers to red wine, sweet or bitter!
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白水
大学士


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白水北美楓文集
帖子發錶於: 2013-04-03 22:40:00    發錶主題: 引用並回復

Hi, my friends. Thanks all of you for your comments, question, encourage, and suggestions. I changed my poem a little.

“let us drink, no matter how sweet or bitter ”

Cheers!

cheers
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Lake
举人


註册時間: 2007-01-09
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Lake北美楓文集
帖子發錶於: 2013-04-05 02:27:05    發錶主題: 引用並回復

Hi Moonlight,

If I dare to make a point - the revision is a bit wordy as compared to your Chinese poems which are always succinct.

Cheers,

Lake
_________________
the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins
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白水
大学士


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帖子發錶於: 2013-04-05 05:32:22    發錶主題: 引用並回復

Hi, Lake
As a writer or reader, everyone, every time has a different feeling. I feel the same when I read your poems. Maybe I will write a simple poem next time, such as:床前明月光 Very Happy

Have nice weekend:g1:

Baishui
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Lake
举人


註册時間: 2007-01-09
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Lake北美楓文集
帖子發錶於: 2013-04-05 06:33:48    發錶主題: 引用並回復

引用:
I feel the same when I read your poems.


Did you mean you think my poems are wordy, too? Smile
True, in a sense. Some of my poems are narrative, others are leaning towards prose, that is, prosaic. But even so, they are not immune to critique of being wordy, let alone those short poems.

引用:
Maybe I will write a simple poem next time, such as:床前明月光


That's not what I meant. If you have a closer look at hepingdao's suggestion (you don't have to take it, of course), hopefully, you will understand what I was trying to say. Just want to be helpful, really.

Smile

A nice weekend to you, too.
Lake
_________________
the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins
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白水
大学士


註册時間: 2006-10-02
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來自: TORONTO
白水北美楓文集
帖子發錶於: 2013-04-05 11:13:46    發錶主題: 引用並回復

yes, sometimes Embarassed
I know what you mean. I wish you could understand that sometimes the writer would like to write a sentence such as 床前明月光 ,sometimes she/he want to say 银色的月光洒在我的床前,or 哦!银色的月光像下凡的玉兔儿酣睡在你的床前. 你好可爱,忍不住开个玩笑. sorry:P
Never mind, thank you a lots for discussing with me, you are a very nice person.

Friendly regards
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北美楓 首頁 -> 西方文学 Western Literature    發錶新帖   回復帖子
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