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(原创）诉衷情-桃源春色

笑聊
探花

Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection

Posted: 2013-03-16 14:08:15 Post subject: (原创）诉衷情-桃源春色

文/笑聊行来一路树新装，（稍作修改）却道裹春光。桃红但见初蕊，已欲起飞扬。承雨露，显池旁。细思量。几多春色，谁料心怀，意在清芳！

莹雪
进士出身

Joined: 28 Sep 2006
Posts: 2520
Location: 中国－辽宁·三燕故都
莹雪Collection

Posted: 2013-03-16 14:12:53 Post subject:

喜下阙气定神闲

笑聊
探花

Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection

Posted: 2013-03-16 18:16:14 Post subject:

莹雪 wrote:

喜下阙气定神闲

这是桃源诗社的征文词，要交差，胡乱涂鸦，莹雪妹见笑了。

影沉寒水
举人

Joined: 16 Feb 2010
Posts: 1145
Location: 中国福建
影沉寒水Collection

Posted: 2013-03-16 18:41:30 Post subject:

满眼全是绿新装，却道裹春光。却表示转折？ _________________ 诗无涯。思在线

笑聊
探花

Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection

Posted: 2013-03-16 19:23:17 Post subject:

影沉寒水 wrote:

满眼全是绿新装，

却道裹春光。

却表示转折？

明明新绿就是春光，有意用了“却”“裹”，“却”退一步，让春光裹一下，（事实也是如此）实则为下阕作铺垫。欲扬先抑，不知寒水兄是否这么认为？

莹雪
进士出身

Joined: 28 Sep 2006
Posts: 2520
Location: 中国－辽宁·三燕故都
莹雪Collection

Posted: 2013-03-17 07:40:31 Post subject:

笑聊 wrote:

莹雪 wrote:

喜下阙气定神闲

这是桃源诗社的征文词，要交差，胡乱涂鸦，莹雪妹见笑了。

兄不必过谦，兄之小令的确很好。

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2013-03-17 21:18:38 Post subject:

意在清芳点睛

黄洋界
探花

Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 3301
Location: 多伦多,加拿大
黄洋界Collection

Posted: 2013-03-18 09:40:34 Post subject:

意在清芳，结句清丽。 _________________ ++++++++++++++ 喜金石书画，友竹菊梅兰

笑聊
探花

Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection

Posted: 2013-03-19 20:33:52 Post subject:

白水 Moonlight wrote:

意在清芳

点睛

问好白水！桃花之为春，确实意在清芳！

笑聊
探花

Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection

Posted: 2013-03-19 20:35:30 Post subject:

黄洋界 wrote:

意在清芳，结句清丽。

问候黄老师！

谢谢老师赞誉点评鼓励！

白云闲人
探花

Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

白云闲人Collection

Posted: 2013-03-20 05:55:03 Post subject:

雨露润春色，意境透清芳！ _________________ 诗中岁月, 笛里关山.

笑聊
探花

Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection

Posted: 2013-03-20 07:10:30 Post subject:

白云闲人 wrote:

雨露润春色，意境透清芳！

问好白云老师！谢谢老师的透彻赏评。

qinghongh
榜眼

Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

qinghonghCollection

Posted: 2013-03-20 08:46:34 Post subject:

水墨江南在无锡,桃源诗社在何方?

笑聊
探花

Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection

Posted: 2013-03-20 20:22:31 Post subject:

qinghongh wrote:

水墨江南在无锡,桃源诗社在何方?

问好庆宏兄！桃源诗社，在网易《桃源居》。庆宏兄不妨有便去看一下。

qinghongh
榜眼

Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

qinghonghCollection

Posted: 2013-03-21 06:19:19 Post subject:

谢谢！

白云闲人
探花

Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

白云闲人Collection

Posted: 2013-03-21 09:11:57 Post subject:

請問笑聊，网易《桃源居》的网址是怎样？待我精神好些時也去学习学习。謝謝！ _________________ 诗中岁月, 笛里关山.

笑聊
探花

Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection

Posted: 2013-03-21 20:21:11 Post subject:

[quote="白云闲人"]請問笑聊，网易《桃源居》的网址是怎样？待我精神好些時也去学习学习。謝謝！[/quote 白云老师好！点击百度，输入桃源居三字好像第三个就是。打开后就是桃源诗社。

白云闲人
探花

Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

白云闲人Collection

Posted: 2013-03-22 05:03:40 Post subject:

笑聊，百度的网址又是怎样？我也没有呢。 _________________ 诗中岁月, 笛里关山.

笑聊
探花

Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection

Posted: 2013-03-22 07:57:07 Post subject:

白云老师我把网址复制在这里： http://q.163.com/wangxzh20080821/ 这是桃源诗社的网址《桃源居》

白云闲人
探花

Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

白云闲人Collection

Posted: 2013-03-23 00:49:16 Post subject:

謝謝笑聊！ _________________ 诗中岁月, 笛里关山.

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