笑聊 探花
Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection |
Posted: 2013-03-16 14:08:15 Post subject: (原创)诉衷情-桃源春色 |
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文/笑聊
行来一路树新装,(稍作修改)
却道裹春光。
桃红但见初蕊,
已欲起飞扬。
承雨露,
显池旁。
细思量。
几多春色,
谁料心怀,
意在清芳! |
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莹雪 进士出身
Joined: 28 Sep 2006 Posts: 2520 Location: 中国-辽宁·三燕故都 莹雪Collection |
Posted: 2013-03-16 14:12:53 Post subject: |
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| 喜下阙气定神闲 |
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笑聊 探花
Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection |
Posted: 2013-03-16 18:16:14 Post subject: |
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这是桃源诗社的征文词,要交差,胡乱涂鸦,莹雪妹见笑了。 |
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影沉寒水 举人

Joined: 16 Feb 2010 Posts: 1145 Location: 中国福建 影沉寒水Collection |
Posted: 2013-03-16 18:41:30 Post subject: |
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满眼全是绿新装,
却道裹春光。
却表示转折? _________________ 诗无涯。思在线 |
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笑聊 探花
Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection |
Posted: 2013-03-16 19:23:17 Post subject: |
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| 影沉寒水 wrote: |
满眼全是绿新装,
却道裹春光。
却表示转折? |
明明新绿就是春光,有意用了“却”“裹”,“却”退一步,让春光裹一下,(事实也是如此)实则为下阕作铺垫。欲扬先抑,不知寒水兄是否这么认为? |
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莹雪 进士出身
Joined: 28 Sep 2006 Posts: 2520 Location: 中国-辽宁·三燕故都 莹雪Collection |
Posted: 2013-03-17 07:40:31 Post subject: |
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| 笑聊 wrote: |
这是桃源诗社的征文词,要交差,胡乱涂鸦,莹雪妹见笑了。 |
兄不必过谦,兄之小令的确很好。 |
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白水 大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006 Posts: 14102 Location: TORONTO 白水Collection |
Posted: 2013-03-17 21:18:38 Post subject: |
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意在清芳
点睛 |
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黄洋界 探花

Joined: 23 Mar 2007 Posts: 3301 Location: 多伦多,加拿大 黄洋界Collection |
Posted: 2013-03-18 09:40:34 Post subject: |
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意在清芳,结句清丽。 _________________ ++++++++++++++
喜金石书画,友竹菊梅兰 |
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笑聊 探花
Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection |
Posted: 2013-03-19 20:33:52 Post subject: |
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| 白水 Moonlight wrote: |
意在清芳
点睛 |
问好白水!桃花之为春,确实意在清芳! |
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笑聊 探花
Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection |
Posted: 2013-03-19 20:35:30 Post subject: |
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问候黄老师!
谢谢老师赞誉点评鼓励! |
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白云闲人 探花
Joined: 26 Aug 2007 Posts: 3466
白云闲人Collection |
Posted: 2013-03-20 05:55:03 Post subject: |
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雨露润春色,意境透清芳! _________________ 诗中岁月,
笛里关山. |
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笑聊 探花
Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection |
Posted: 2013-03-20 07:10:30 Post subject: |
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问好白云老师!谢谢老师的透彻赏评。 |
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qinghongh 榜眼
Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
qinghonghCollection |
Posted: 2013-03-20 08:46:34 Post subject: |
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| 水墨江南在无锡,桃源诗社在何方? |
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笑聊 探花
Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection |
Posted: 2013-03-20 20:22:31 Post subject: |
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| qinghongh wrote: |
| 水墨江南在无锡,桃源诗社在何方? |
问好庆宏兄!桃源诗社,在网易《桃源居》。庆宏兄不妨有便去看一下。 |
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qinghongh 榜眼
Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
qinghonghCollection |
Posted: 2013-03-21 06:19:19 Post subject: |
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| 谢谢! |
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白云闲人 探花
Joined: 26 Aug 2007 Posts: 3466
白云闲人Collection |
Posted: 2013-03-21 09:11:57 Post subject: |
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請問笑聊,网易《桃源居》的网址是怎样?待我精神好些時也去学习学习。謝謝! _________________ 诗中岁月,
笛里关山. |
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笑聊 探花
Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection |
Posted: 2013-03-21 20:21:11 Post subject: |
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[quote="白云闲人"]請問笑聊,网易《桃源居》的网址是怎样?待我精神好些時也去学习学习。謝謝 |
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白云闲人 探花
Joined: 26 Aug 2007 Posts: 3466
白云闲人Collection |
Posted: 2013-03-22 05:03:40 Post subject: |
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笑聊,百度的网址又是怎样?我也没有呢。 _________________ 诗中岁月,
笛里关山. |
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笑聊 探花
Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection |
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白云闲人 探花
Joined: 26 Aug 2007 Posts: 3466
白云闲人Collection |
Posted: 2013-03-23 00:49:16 Post subject: |
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謝謝笑聊! _________________ 诗中岁月,
笛里关山. |
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