笑聊 探花
 
  Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection | 
		
		
			
				 Posted: 2013-03-16 14:08:15    Post subject: (原创)诉衷情-桃源春色 | 
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				文/笑聊
 
 
行来一路树新装,(稍作修改)
 
 
却道裹春光。
 
 
桃红但见初蕊,
 
 
已欲起飞扬。
 
 
 
 
 
承雨露,
 
 
显池旁。
 
 
细思量。
 
 
几多春色,
 
 
谁料心怀,
 
 
意在清芳! | 
			 
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		莹雪 进士出身
 
  Joined: 28 Sep 2006 Posts: 2520 Location: 中国-辽宁·三燕故都 莹雪Collection | 
		
		
			
				 Posted: 2013-03-16 14:12:53    Post subject:  | 
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				| 喜下阙气定神闲 | 
			 
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		笑聊 探花
 
  Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection | 
		
		
			
				 Posted: 2013-03-16 18:16:14    Post subject:  | 
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这是桃源诗社的征文词,要交差,胡乱涂鸦,莹雪妹见笑了。 | 
			 
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		影沉寒水 举人
  
  Joined: 16 Feb 2010 Posts: 1145 Location: 中国福建 影沉寒水Collection | 
		
		
			
				 Posted: 2013-03-16 18:41:30    Post subject:  | 
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				满眼全是绿新装, 
 
 
却道裹春光。
 
 
却表示转折? _________________ 诗无涯。思在线 | 
			 
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		笑聊 探花
 
  Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection | 
		
		
			
				 Posted: 2013-03-16 19:23:17    Post subject:  | 
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	  | 影沉寒水 wrote: | 
	 
	
	  满眼全是绿新装, 
 
 
却道裹春光。
 
 
却表示转折? | 
	 
 
 
 
明明新绿就是春光,有意用了“却”“裹”,“却”退一步,让春光裹一下,(事实也是如此)实则为下阕作铺垫。欲扬先抑,不知寒水兄是否这么认为? | 
			 
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		莹雪 进士出身
 
  Joined: 28 Sep 2006 Posts: 2520 Location: 中国-辽宁·三燕故都 莹雪Collection | 
		
		
			
				 Posted: 2013-03-17 07:40:31    Post subject:  | 
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	  | 笑聊 wrote: | 
	 
	
	  
 
这是桃源诗社的征文词,要交差,胡乱涂鸦,莹雪妹见笑了。 | 
	 
 
兄不必过谦,兄之小令的确很好。 | 
			 
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		白水 大学士
  
  Joined: 02 Oct 2006 Posts: 14102 Location: TORONTO 白水Collection | 
		
		
			
				 Posted: 2013-03-17 21:18:38    Post subject:  | 
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				意在清芳
 
 
点睛 | 
			 
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		黄洋界 探花
  
  Joined: 23 Mar 2007 Posts: 3301 Location: 多伦多,加拿大 黄洋界Collection | 
		
		
			
				 Posted: 2013-03-18 09:40:34    Post subject:  | 
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				意在清芳,结句清丽。 _________________ ++++++++++++++
 
喜金石书画,友竹菊梅兰 | 
			 
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		笑聊 探花
 
  Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection | 
		
		
			
				 Posted: 2013-03-19 20:33:52    Post subject:  | 
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	  | 白水 Moonlight wrote: | 
	 
	
	  意在清芳
 
 
点睛 | 
	 
 
 
 
问好白水!桃花之为春,确实意在清芳! | 
			 
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		笑聊 探花
 
  Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection | 
		
		
			
				 Posted: 2013-03-19 20:35:30    Post subject:  | 
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问候黄老师!
 
 
谢谢老师赞誉点评鼓励! | 
			 
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		白云闲人 探花
 
  Joined: 26 Aug 2007 Posts: 3466
  白云闲人Collection | 
		
		
			
				 Posted: 2013-03-20 05:55:03    Post subject:  | 
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				雨露润春色,意境透清芳! _________________ 诗中岁月,
 
笛里关山. | 
			 
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		笑聊 探花
 
  Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection | 
		
		
			
				 Posted: 2013-03-20 07:10:30    Post subject:  | 
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问好白云老师!谢谢老师的透彻赏评。 | 
			 
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		qinghongh 榜眼
 
  Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
  qinghonghCollection | 
		
		
			
				 Posted: 2013-03-20 08:46:34    Post subject:  | 
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				| 水墨江南在无锡,桃源诗社在何方? | 
			 
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		笑聊 探花
 
  Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection | 
		
		
			
				 Posted: 2013-03-20 20:22:31    Post subject:  | 
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	  | qinghongh wrote: | 
	 
	
	  | 水墨江南在无锡,桃源诗社在何方? | 
	 
 
 
 
问好庆宏兄!桃源诗社,在网易《桃源居》。庆宏兄不妨有便去看一下。 | 
			 
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		qinghongh 榜眼
 
  Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
  qinghonghCollection | 
		
		
			
				 Posted: 2013-03-21 06:19:19    Post subject:  | 
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				| 谢谢! | 
			 
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		白云闲人 探花
 
  Joined: 26 Aug 2007 Posts: 3466
  白云闲人Collection | 
		
		
			
				 Posted: 2013-03-21 09:11:57    Post subject:  | 
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				請問笑聊,网易《桃源居》的网址是怎样?待我精神好些時也去学习学习。謝謝! _________________ 诗中岁月,
 
笛里关山. | 
			 
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		笑聊 探花
 
  Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection | 
		
		
			
				 Posted: 2013-03-21 20:21:11    Post subject:  | 
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				[quote="白云闲人"]請問笑聊,网易《桃源居》的网址是怎样?待我精神好些時也去学习学习。謝謝  | 
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		白云闲人 探花
 
  Joined: 26 Aug 2007 Posts: 3466
  白云闲人Collection | 
		
		
			
				 Posted: 2013-03-22 05:03:40    Post subject:  | 
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				笑聊,百度的网址又是怎样?我也没有呢。 _________________ 诗中岁月,
 
笛里关山. | 
			 
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		笑聊 探花
 
  Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection | 
		
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		白云闲人 探花
 
  Joined: 26 Aug 2007 Posts: 3466
  白云闲人Collection | 
		
		
			
				 Posted: 2013-03-23 00:49:16    Post subject:  | 
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				謝謝笑聊! _________________ 诗中岁月,
 
笛里关山. | 
			 
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