笑聊 探花
Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection |
Posted: 2012-08-27 07:19:35 Post subject: (原创)七律-初夏咏荷 |
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文/笑聊
星河点点银光闪,蛙鼓频频夜幕中。
尖角初浮探世界,翠裙才展舞虚空。
合群方晓非池物,孤野谁知是鹤鸿?
赋得诗文如满月,闲云一片布柔风。
采纳黄老师提议,尾联转句做改动。
星河点点银光闪,蛙鼓频频夜幕中。
尖角初浮探世界,翠裙才展舞虚空。
合群方晓非池物,孤野谁知是鹤鸿?
淡淡清香惹人醉,闲云一片布柔风。 |
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hepingdao Site Admin
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Joined: 25 May 2006 Posts: 8106
hepingdaoCollection |
Posted: 2012-08-27 14:14:33 Post subject: |
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柔情万点,胸怀宇宙 _________________ 为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫! |
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qinghongh 榜眼
Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
qinghonghCollection |
Posted: 2012-08-28 05:29:16 Post subject: |
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心怀鸿鹄之志 |
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白水 大学士
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Joined: 02 Oct 2006 Posts: 14102 Location: TORONTO 白水Collection |
Posted: 2012-08-28 10:06:07 Post subject: |
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夏夜畅想,思绪万千 |
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黄洋界 探花
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Joined: 23 Mar 2007 Posts: 3301 Location: 多伦多,加拿大 黄洋界Collection |
Posted: 2012-08-28 10:30:33 Post subject: |
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星河,蛙鼓,尖角,翠裙------一派夏夜荷塘景色扑面而来,
有声有色,若能闻到荷香,则更令人惬意。 _________________ ++++++++++++++
喜金石书画,友竹菊梅兰 |
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SLIU 秀才
Joined: 01 Jan 2010 Posts: 384
SLIUCollection |
Posted: 2012-08-28 16:34:53 Post subject: |
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合群方晓非池物,孤野谁知是鹤鸿 好句 |
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笑聊 探花
Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection |
Posted: 2012-08-29 20:44:54 Post subject: |
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hepingdao wrote: |
柔情万点,胸怀宇宙 |
感谢岛主赏评鼓励!问好岛主! |
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笑聊 探花
Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection |
Posted: 2012-08-29 20:45:38 Post subject: |
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问好庆宏兄!谢谢赏评鼓励! |
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笑聊 探花
Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection |
Posted: 2012-08-29 20:46:27 Post subject: |
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白水 Moonlight wrote: |
夏夜畅想,思绪万千 |
感谢白水赏评鼓励!问好白水! |
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笑聊 探花
Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection |
Posted: 2012-08-29 20:48:51 Post subject: |
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黄洋界 wrote: |
星河,蛙鼓,尖角,翠裙------一派夏夜荷塘景色扑面而来,
... |
问好黄老师!谢谢赏评鼓励!老师说得对,如果闻到荷香更好了。 |
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笑聊 探花
Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection |
Posted: 2012-08-29 20:50:17 Post subject: |
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sliu6 wrote: |
合群方晓非池物,孤野谁知是鹤鸿 好句 |
谢谢江南提读赏评!问好! |
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笑聊 探花
Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection |
Posted: 2012-08-29 21:05:50 Post subject: |
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采纳黄老师提议,尾联转句做改动。
星河点点银光闪,蛙鼓频频夜幕中。
尖角初浮探世界,翠裙才展舞虚空。
合群方晓非池物,孤野谁知是鹤鸿?
淡淡清香惹人醉,闲云一片布柔风。 |
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青洋 秀才
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Joined: 25 Sep 2012 Posts: 342 Location: 溫哥華 青洋Collection |
Posted: 2012-09-25 13:15:18 Post subject: |
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合群方曉非池物,想法很新! _________________ 坐在方舟中的無用之人天天射落日的倒影 |
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笑聊 探花
Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection |
Posted: 2012-09-26 07:40:44 Post subject: |
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谢谢青洋朋友提读赏评!问好。 |
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