宁家珍 秀才

Joined: 20 May 2009 Posts: 470 Location: 中国黄山 宁家珍Collection |
Posted: 2011-12-01 07:04:28 Post subject: 五绝 观夕阳 |
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五绝 观夕阳 (旧韵)
宁家珍
林梢斜落日,五彩染横江。
珍惜瞬间美,人生短亦长。 |
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黄洋界 探花

Joined: 23 Mar 2007 Posts: 3301 Location: 多伦多,加拿大 黄洋界Collection |
Posted: 2011-12-01 15:51:54 Post subject: |
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结句“人生短亦长”好,表现了豁达的人生观。
第一句文字可否再作些调整,改作“林边斜日落”如何? _________________ ++++++++++++++
喜金石书画,友竹菊梅兰 |
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宁家珍 秀才

Joined: 20 May 2009 Posts: 470 Location: 中国黄山 宁家珍Collection |
Posted: 2011-12-01 19:44:19 Post subject: |
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谢谢黄洋界老师的指点。现改为“林梢”如何? |
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黄洋界 探花

Joined: 23 Mar 2007 Posts: 3301 Location: 多伦多,加拿大 黄洋界Collection |
Posted: 2011-12-02 06:31:07 Post subject: |
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“林梢”更切合图片景象,好! _________________ ++++++++++++++
喜金石书画,友竹菊梅兰 |
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qinghongh 榜眼
Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
qinghonghCollection |
Posted: 2011-12-04 07:50:12 Post subject: |
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观落日,悟人生。 |
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宁家珍 秀才

Joined: 20 May 2009 Posts: 470 Location: 中国黄山 宁家珍Collection |
Posted: 2011-12-05 01:40:54 Post subject: |
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谢谢庆宏老师的欣赏,冬日问好。 |
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笑聊 探花
Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection |
Posted: 2011-12-05 22:41:39 Post subject: |
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问候家珍诗友!特欣赏未句“人生短亦长。”讲出了人生哲理。 |
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宁家珍 秀才

Joined: 20 May 2009 Posts: 470 Location: 中国黄山 宁家珍Collection |
Posted: 2011-12-07 02:47:29 Post subject: |
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笑聊 wrote: |
问候家珍诗友!特欣赏未句“人生短亦长。”讲出了人生哲理。 |
谢谢笑聊诗友的欣赏,祝你健康快乐! |
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