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Maple Review Home -> 古韵新音

五律《冬絮》

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莹雪
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Joined: 28 Sep 2006
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Posted: 2011-01-12 18:00:34 Post subject:

欣赏

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
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白水Collection

Posted: 2011-01-14 13:47:09 Post subject:

谢MM

莹雪
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Joined: 28 Sep 2006
Posts: 2520
Location: 中国－辽宁·三燕故都
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Posted: 2011-01-14 18:00:42 Post subject:

偶好不容易爬上来。中途被摔下网站N多次，呜呜呜，姐姐

白水
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Joined: 02 Oct 2006
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Posted: 2011-01-14 18:59:50 Post subject:

MM小心噢，你摔痛了白大帅哥会心痛的

莹雪
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莹雪Collection

Posted: 2011-01-14 19:17:34 Post subject:

是姐姐呀，还是‘帅哥’？偶不管，就叫你姐姐

白水
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Posted: 2011-01-14 19:28:45 Post subject:

不行，这周是GG，下周再当JJ。我家小狗狗最近比较调皮，我要学的利害点。看看喜欢不

莹雪
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Posted: 2011-01-14 22:02:48 Post subject:

哦，原来还有星期之分？偶明明白啦！

清水正夫
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Posted: 2011-01-14 22:23:03 Post subject:

白水兄诗才令酒仙摔碗叫绝；才子脱帽鞠躬。

白水
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Location: TORONTO
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Posted: 2011-01-15 06:21:05 Post subject:

莹雪 wrote:

哦，原来还有星期之分？偶明明白啦！

ＧＧ也５５　一次，ＭＭ不喜欢ＧＧ的小狗狗么？ Crying or Very sad

白水
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Posted: 2011-01-15 06:26:23 Post subject:

清水正夫 wrote:

白水兄诗才令酒仙摔碗叫绝；才子脱帽鞠躬。

谢谢鼓励，问好才子。
清水就好，干嘛非加正夫，这笔名不像‘才子’倒想像‘鬼子’。Ｓｏｒｒｙ，　开个玩笑 Razz

莹雪
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Location: 中国－辽宁·三燕故都
莹雪Collection

Posted: 2011-01-15 17:36:25 Post subject:

白水 Moonlight wrote:

莹雪 wrote:

哦，原来还有星期之分？偶明明白啦！

ＧＧ也５５　一次，ＭＭ不喜欢ＧＧ的小狗狗么？ Crying or Very sad

嘻，

GG也像偶们女孩儿似的哭鼻子呀？！记住哦，本周你是才子，是不能哭鼻子地 Wink

偶可记住啦！一周轮换制，下周恢复你才女身份哈 Rolling Eyes

偶给你家狗狗

写诗啦！别哭了

白水
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Posted: 2011-02-19 09:12:19 Post subject:

HI， MM，写诗歌了

莹雪
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Posted: 2011-02-19 22:32:34 Post subject:

白水 Moonlight wrote:

HI， MM，写诗歌了 Wink

O，好的，JJ，是和《冬絮》呀？ Rolling Eyes

偶构思一下下哈

明天交作业

白水
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Location: TORONTO
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Posted: 2011-02-20 04:39:58 Post subject:

不是啦，是等你写新诗歌，比如春花

莹雪
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Posted: 2011-02-20 17:13:35 Post subject:

白水 Moonlight wrote:

不是啦，是等你写新诗歌，比如春花 Very Happy

哦，明白啦！偶在构思之中。JJ

莹雪
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Posted: 2011-02-20 19:04:33 Post subject:

JJ，偶写完啦！没敢发论坛上，在你能看到的〔博客〕地方

老山
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Joined: 05 May 2007
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老山Collection

Posted: 2011-02-20 19:13:25 Post subject:

私心最赏颔联并尾联，欣喜之情态可感也。拂夜梦之拂，入声，最好用平声，似更见音律之美。孔见参酌。 _________________ 我也用惯了平水韵，但如果从“新声新韵”的角度看，是符合格律的。用普通话读全诗仍有音律之美。

白水
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Posted: 2011-02-20 19:46:26 Post subject:

莹雪 wrote:

JJ，偶写完啦！没敢发论坛上，在你能看到的〔博客〕地方 Razz

为什么不发这边？新浪那边今天不稳定，很难登陆 Sad

白水
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Joined: 02 Oct 2006
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Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2011-02-20 19:51:28 Post subject:

老山 wrote:

私心最赏颔联并尾联，欣喜之情态可感也。
...

谢谢老山的鼓励。

我的确更喜欢普通话 Razz

莹雪
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Posted: 2011-02-20 21:21:43 Post subject:

好的,偶发过来！

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