Lake 举人
注册时间: 2007-01-09 帖子: 1286
Lake北美枫文集 |
发表于: 2007-04-02 12:25:48 发表主题: The Geisha—A Sequel |
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The Geisha—A Sequel
After Sakura plunges
into deep water
Sayuri, too, plunges
into a void. Petals
discolored, mind entombed.
Inevitably, cherry blossoms
drowned as doomed,
while Sayuri incarnated
as Mistress of Chairman—
her new Danna.
Can a nirvana searched
be reached?
Tears of ecstasy
streaming down her eyes,
gray, misty.
Years proceed.
Uprooted and transplanted,
Sayuri and Chairman
now reside in New York City
to shun away from unspoken
gossip over the heir
to the family's property.
Chairman grows weaker
and weaker, and not long,
leaves Sayuri behind.
Like a kite with a broken
string, she's more puzzled
and scared than sad.
What then, is her destiny?
Blown off the branches
Sakura falls and cries.
Oh dear, oh dear.
Grass turns green and brown.
A stunning debut unveils
a slender, short-haired woman.
In an altered black Kimono,
she plays a violin with her
once-Samisen-playing-hands.
Simple grace and delicacy!
In oblivion, her eyes half closed.
Her head slightly throws back and forth.
Her body moves with the bow
that sings on her heart-strings,
mesmerizing the entire audience
with her melody—
"Memoirs of a Geisha".
With a standing ovation
her heart vibrates.
Sakura unfolds and blooms…
. _________________ the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins |
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kokho 进士出身
注册时间: 2006-11-30 帖子: 2642 来自: Singapore kokho北美枫文集 |
发表于: 2007-04-02 12:30:56 发表主题: |
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WELL DONE MY FRIEND
Can a nirvana searched be reached?
THIS IS THE SENTENCE I DO NOT UNDERSTAND...
searched = quest ??? _________________ 乒乓、摄影、诗歌 |
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kokho 进士出身
注册时间: 2006-11-30 帖子: 2642 来自: Singapore kokho北美枫文集 |
发表于: 2007-04-02 12:32:23 发表主题: |
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Simple grace and delicacy....
delicacy CAN THIS WORD BE USED EXCEPT TO DESCRIBE FOOD? _________________ 乒乓、摄影、诗歌 |
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kokho 进士出身
注册时间: 2006-11-30 帖子: 2642 来自: Singapore kokho北美枫文集 |
发表于: 2007-04-02 12:33:31 发表主题: |
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With a standing ovation
her heart vibrates.
With = AFTER ???
. _________________ 乒乓、摄影、诗歌 |
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kokho 进士出身
注册时间: 2006-11-30 帖子: 2642 来自: Singapore kokho北美枫文集 |
发表于: 2007-04-02 12:36:08 发表主题: |
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Her head slightly throws back and forth.
Her body moves with the bow
HER HEAD GYRATES IN UNISON WITH THE BOW (MELODY) ?? _________________ 乒乓、摄影、诗歌 |
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Lake 举人
注册时间: 2007-01-09 帖子: 1286
Lake北美枫文集 |
发表于: 2007-04-02 12:51:49 发表主题: |
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kokho 写到: |
WELL DONE MY FRIEND
Can a nirvana searched be reached?
THIS IS THE SENTENCE I DO NOT UNDERSTAND...
searched = quest ??? |
I read it somewhere in Rexroth's Complete Poems, something like, a nirvana with desire cannot be reached. _________________ the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins |
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Lake 举人
注册时间: 2007-01-09 帖子: 1286
Lake北美枫文集 |
发表于: 2007-04-02 12:53:28 发表主题: |
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kokho 写到: |
Simple grace and delicacy....
delicacy CAN THIS WORD BE USED EXCEPT TO DESCRIBE FOOD? |
I... guess...so... _________________ the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins |
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Lake 举人
注册时间: 2007-01-09 帖子: 1286
Lake北美枫文集 |
发表于: 2007-04-02 12:59:43 发表主题: |
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kokho 写到: |
With a standing ovation
her heart vibrates.
With = AFTER ???
. |
I meant at the same time, because of it, not after. _________________ the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins |
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Lake 举人
注册时间: 2007-01-09 帖子: 1286
Lake北美枫文集 |
发表于: 2007-04-02 13:10:45 发表主题: |
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kokho 写到: |
Her head slightly throws back and forth.
Her body moves with the bow
HER HEAD GYRATES IN UNISON WITH THE BOW (MELODY) ?? |
I was trying to describe how her body moves while playing.
But definitely not "Gyrate", that is going to make her dizzy.
Thanks for your scrutiny. I'll mull it over. _________________ the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins |
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kokho 进士出身
注册时间: 2006-11-30 帖子: 2642 来自: Singapore kokho北美枫文集 |
发表于: 2007-04-02 13:28:01 发表主题: |
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Lake 写到: |
kokho 写到: |
WELL DONE MY FRIEND
Can a nirvana searched be reached?
THIS IS THE SENTENCE I DO NOT UNDERSTAND...
searched = quest ??? |
I read it somewhere in Rexroth's Complete Poems, something like, a nirvana with desire cannot be reached. |
Seeking for Nirvana is a quest, not a search for most buddish ) _________________ 乒乓、摄影、诗歌 |
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kokho 进士出身
注册时间: 2006-11-30 帖子: 2642 来自: Singapore kokho北美枫文集 |
发表于: 2007-04-02 13:30:33 发表主题: |
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Lake 写到: |
kokho 写到: |
With a standing ovation
her heart vibrates.
With = AFTER ???
. |
I meant at the same time, because of it, not after. |
IN RESPONSE TO A STANDING OVATION, HER HEART VIBRATES ??
.. SOMEHOW I FELT THE "WITH" IS OUT OF PLACE ....
. _________________ 乒乓、摄影、诗歌 |
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kokho 进士出身
注册时间: 2006-11-30 帖子: 2642 来自: Singapore kokho北美枫文集 |
发表于: 2007-04-02 13:32:33 发表主题: |
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Lake 写到: |
kokho 写到: |
Her head slightly throws back and forth.
Her body moves with the bow
HER HEAD GYRATES IN UNISON WITH THE BOW (MELODY) ?? |
I was trying to describe how her body moves while playing.
But definitely not "Gyrate", that is going to make her dizzy.
Thanks for your scrutiny. I'll mull it over. |
I BELIEVE YOU CAN FIND A BETTER WORD THAN GYRATES ...
DO TRY TO VISIT WWW.DICTIONARY.COM ... YOU WILL FIND THE RIGHT WORD THERE...
.. _________________ 乒乓、摄影、诗歌 |
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Lake 举人
注册时间: 2007-01-09 帖子: 1286
Lake北美枫文集 |
发表于: 2007-04-03 05:44:41 发表主题: |
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kokho 写到: |
Seeking for Nirvana is a quest, not a search for most buddish ) |
Ignorant of buddhism, I thought seek, search and quest are synonyms. If not, then a nirvana searched cannot be attained.
Did you suggest "search" be replaced by quest? _________________ the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins |
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Lake 举人
注册时间: 2007-01-09 帖子: 1286
Lake北美枫文集 |
发表于: 2007-04-03 05:46:34 发表主题: |
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kokho 写到: |
IN RESPONSE TO A STANDING OVATION, HER HEART VIBRATES ??
.. SOMEHOW I FELT THE "WITH" IS OUT OF PLACE ....
. |
"Her heart vibrates to the standing ovation", sounds in place? _________________ the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins |
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Lake 举人
注册时间: 2007-01-09 帖子: 1286
Lake北美枫文集 |
发表于: 2007-04-03 05:54:24 发表主题: |
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kokho 写到: |
I BELIEVE YOU CAN FIND A BETTER WORD THAN GYRATES ...
DO TRY TO VISIT WWW.DICTIONARY.COM ... YOU WILL FIND THE RIGHT WORD THERE...
.. |
Thanks for the link. Still looking. It is not a circular movement.
"Toss"?
That you raised many questions about this poem really made me happy. Thank you!
Much appreciation,
Lake _________________ the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins |
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kokho 进士出身
注册时间: 2006-11-30 帖子: 2642 来自: Singapore kokho北美枫文集 |
发表于: 2007-04-03 10:12:29 发表主题: |
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Discussion make me paying more attention to this second language of ours...
.. _________________ 乒乓、摄影、诗歌 |
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Lake 举人
注册时间: 2007-01-09 帖子: 1286
Lake北美枫文集 |
发表于: 2007-04-04 17:26:40 发表主题: |
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(A revision is made based on an English friend's suggestion "my only tentative suggestion is to have a more defined tone of restraint (avoiding the directness of exclamations and questions). " Now all questions and exclamations are eliminated.)
As Sakura plunges
into deep water
Sayuri plunges, too
in an affair with a man—
a mere stranger. Petals
discolored, mind entombed.
Inevitably, cherry blossoms
drowned as doomed,
while Sayuri incarnated
as Mistress of Chairman—
her new Danna.
In an ecstasy of joy
tears streaming down
her eyes, grey and misty.
As years drift by...
Sayuri and Chairman
now reside in New York City.
Chairman grows weaker and weaker
and not long, leaves Sayuri behind.
Like a kite with a broken string,
she's more puzzled and scared than sad.
Blown off the branches
Sakura falls and cries.
Grass turns green and brown.
At a concert, a slender
short-haired woman
in an altered black kimono
plays a violin with her
once-Samisen-playing-hands.
Simple grace and delicacy.
Her eyes half closed.
Her head slightly throws back and forth.
Her body moves with the bow
that sings on her heart-strings.
“Memoirs of a Geisha”.
With a standing ovation
her heart vibrates.
Sakura blooms…
. _________________ the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins |
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返页首 |
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kokho 进士出身
注册时间: 2006-11-30 帖子: 2642 来自: Singapore kokho北美枫文集 |
发表于: 2007-04-09 00:19:02 发表主题: |
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需要时间 ;))
。。 _________________ 乒乓、摄影、诗歌 |
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Lake 举人
注册时间: 2007-01-09 帖子: 1286
Lake北美枫文集 |
发表于: 2007-04-16 12:07:57 发表主题: |
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Yes, Sir.
以后什么时候吧。现在没心情。好像有点迷糊,想去研读一下 zen. _________________ the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins |
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