鹰熊恋 （rondeau）

[justjust123]

beside the rock in salty air
retreats a tired and sleepy bear
high waves now start to pound his toes
long willow leaves then poke his nose
and flounders jump out everywhere

why does the bear with hoary hair
relax in here, not in his lair?
why does this weary bear not doze
beside the rock?

a birdcall sends a smile so rare
across his face not really fair
his dangling tongue now quickly grows
from which profusely fluid flows
where does he drool for an affair?
beside the rock

rondeau： thirteen lines of eight syllables （iambic tetrameter here),
two refrains (half lines and four syllables each),
three stanzas with rhyme scheme: (1) A A B B A (2) A A B with refrain: C (3) A A B B A with concluding refrain C and
the refrain must be identical with the beginning of the first line

overall, it seems to be more complex than a sonnet in terms of structure.

[Lake]

Well handled form poem.
It sounds a bit nursery rhyme to this reader.
The refrains are not quite effective as they should take on new meaning or suggest an epiphany or express a punch line.

I've never tried it. And, oh my goodness, I'm just being picky. On the whole, a fine rondeau.
_________________
the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins

[justjust123]

[Lake]

Don't let my words put you down, just. All I said is just one person's view and I'm sure others will disagree with me.

Cheers
_________________
the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins