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The old and the street (古韵西音)
博弈
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Joined: 21 Dec 2006
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PostPosted: 2007-03-23 00:16:34    Post subject: The old and the street (古韵西音) Reply with quote

The old and the street (古韵西音)

七绝

Dewfall was the time peace came
Could what those geezers pick home
Come-ons emerged through gutters
Rampage gargled the street blown

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暗香如沁
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PostPosted: 2007-03-23 03:45:50    Post subject: Reply with quote

我的天。顶了再说。等高人来解释。
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白水
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Joined: 02 Oct 2006
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PostPosted: 2007-03-23 05:59:03    Post subject: Re: The old and the street (古韵西音) Reply with quote

才子真绝. 不拘一格写七绝.好.
烦请解释一下, 七在哪, 平在哪,仄在哪,WOW, 咬文嚼字了.
magnifying noooo smart



博弈 wrote:
The old and the street (古韵西音)

七绝

Dewfall was the time peace came
Could what those geezers pick home
Come-ons emerged through gutters
Rampage gargled the street blown
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白水
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Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
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PostPosted: 2007-03-23 06:14:56    Post subject: Reply with quote

临屏草译:
夜露时分沉寂归, 怪叟妄寻窝棚回
招摇踉跄穿闹市, 纷乱嘈杂ON STREET Razz

谁接着来加平仄 Very Happy
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hepingdao
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Joined: 25 May 2006
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PostPosted: 2007-03-23 06:24:18    Post subject: Reply with quote

高手玩的文字游戏呀
Very Happy
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白水
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Joined: 02 Oct 2006
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PostPosted: 2007-03-23 06:34:34    Post subject: Reply with quote

hepingdao wrote:
高手玩的文字游戏呀
Very Happy


你再把这诗译成法文吧, 还有那位写德语诗歌的呢?如能接着译, 转一圈看还能回来吗? Very Happy
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博弈
榜眼


Joined: 21 Dec 2006
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PostPosted: 2007-03-23 08:00:36    Post subject: 请多指教. Reply with quote

以音节作诗(‘七’的原因)。再取下两精神;
1.“一简之内,音韵尽殊;两句之中,轻重悉异。” 替五音找平仄(此处指母音,法国那个谁不是替母音找到颜色么?),此诗内多用不同母音,长、短兼替。
2.1平 = 2仄,聲的時長上(王力持同观点)。 长音节为平,短音节为仄。单音节字又重音自然是仄,双单音节字(例, ‵gutter), 因对比,重音节处可比拟为今音第四声。

平起首句不押韻;
⊙平⊙仄平平仄,
⊙仄平平仄仄平。(韻)
⊙仄⊙平平仄仄,
⊙平⊙仄仄平平。(韻)

严格说,韵押的不完全精准,home (/ho?m /), blown(/blo?n/)母音相同,coda 不同(m and n)但可算是近似. But, you get the idea.

这是作个中学西用,请多指教.
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白水
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Joined: 02 Oct 2006
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PostPosted: 2007-03-23 08:13:38    Post subject: Re: 请多指教. Reply with quote

谢谢你, 才子. 真高兴在网上能学到如此多的知识, 又给自己找了个上网不为过的理由 Embarassed

另, 请看看刚才临屏草译错, 漏了多少内容. 你有中文版吗? 只是想在玩中学点东西. THANKS AGAIN.

博弈 wrote:
以音节作诗(‘七’的原因)。再取下两精神;
1.“一简之内,音韵尽殊;两句之中,轻重悉异。” 替五音找平仄(此处指母音,法国那个谁不是替母音找到颜色么?),此诗内多用不同母音,长、短兼替。
2.1平 = 2仄,聲的時長上(王力持同观点)。 长音节为平,短音节为仄。单音节字又重音自然是仄,双单音节字(例, ‵gutter), 因对比,重音节处可比拟为今音第四声。

平起首句不押韻;
⊙平⊙仄平平仄,
⊙仄平平仄仄平。(韻)
⊙仄⊙平平仄仄,
⊙平⊙仄仄平平。(韻)

严格说,韵押的不完全精准,home (/ho?m /), blown(/blo?n/)母音相同,coda 不同(m and n)但可算是近似. But, you get the idea.

这是作个中学西用,请多指教.
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博弈
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Joined: 21 Dec 2006
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PostPosted: 2007-03-23 08:41:55    Post subject: Reply with quote

学点东、西,说得好啊。
人过30就不成才子,对怪叟客套就不必。
没写中文,昨晚刚整的。
Come-ons 是诱惑的人、物,一个概念吧
Rampage 状态词拟人,street 就是 喉咙?
我这就是玩,想象如果这东西能成规矩, 西方人除了日俳外,
也可以写古绝啊,律对他们来说,太难了. 只是个想法.
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白水
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Joined: 02 Oct 2006
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PostPosted: 2007-03-23 09:09:14    Post subject: Reply with quote

博弈 wrote:
学点东、西,说得好啊。
人过30就不成才子,对怪叟客套就不必。
没写中文,昨晚刚整的。
Come-ons 是诱惑的人、物,一个概念吧
Rampage 状态词拟人,street 就是 喉咙?
我这就是玩,想象如果这东西能成规矩, 西方人除了日俳外,
也可以写古绝啊,律对他们来说,太难了. 只是个想法.


THANKS A LOT. I WISH THAT I GOT IT.
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