| 博弈 榜眼
 
 
 Joined: 21 Dec 2006
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				|  Posted: 2007-03-23 00:16:34    Post subject: The old and the street (古韵西音) |   |  
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				| The old and the street (古韵西音) 
 七绝
 
 Dewfall was the time peace came
 Could what those geezers pick home
 Come-ons emerged through gutters
 Rampage gargled the street blown
 _________________
 (在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美)
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		| 暗香如沁 秀才
 
 
 Joined: 14 Jan 2007
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 Location: 北京
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		| 白水 大学士
 
  
 Joined: 02 Oct 2006
 Posts: 14102
 Location: TORONTO
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				|  Posted: 2007-03-23 05:59:03    Post subject: Re: The old and the street (古韵西音) |   |  
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				| 才子真绝. 不拘一格写七绝.好. 烦请解释一下, 七在哪, 平在哪,仄在哪,WOW, 咬文嚼字了.
 
       
 
 
 
 
 
	  | 博弈 wrote: |  
	  | The old and the street (古韵西音) 
 七绝
 
 Dewfall was the time peace came
 Could what those geezers pick home
 Come-ons emerged through gutters
 Rampage gargled the street blown
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		| 白水 大学士
 
  
 Joined: 02 Oct 2006
 Posts: 14102
 Location: TORONTO
 白水Collection
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				|  Posted: 2007-03-23 06:14:56    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 临屏草译: 夜露时分沉寂归, 怪叟妄寻窝棚回
 招摇踉跄穿闹市, 纷乱嘈杂ON STREET
   
 谁接着来加平仄
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		| hepingdao Site Admin
 
  
 Joined: 25 May 2006
 Posts: 8106
 
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				|  Posted: 2007-03-23 06:24:18    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 高手玩的文字游戏呀 
  _________________
 为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫!
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		| 白水 大学士
 
  
 Joined: 02 Oct 2006
 Posts: 14102
 Location: TORONTO
 白水Collection
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				|  Posted: 2007-03-23 06:34:34    Post subject: |   |  
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	  | hepingdao wrote: |  
	  | 高手玩的文字游戏呀 
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 你再把这诗译成法文吧, 还有那位写德语诗歌的呢?如能接着译, 转一圈看还能回来吗?
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		| 博弈 榜眼
 
 
 Joined: 21 Dec 2006
 Posts: 4381
 Location: SFO
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				|  Posted: 2007-03-23 08:00:36    Post subject: 请多指教. |   |  
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				| 以音节作诗(‘七’的原因)。再取下两精神; 1.“一简之内,音韵尽殊;两句之中,轻重悉异。” 替五音找平仄(此处指母音,法国那个谁不是替母音找到颜色么?),此诗内多用不同母音,长、短兼替。
 2.1平 = 2仄,聲的時長上(王力持同观点)。 长音节为平,短音节为仄。单音节字又重音自然是仄,双单音节字(例, ‵gutter),  因对比,重音节处可比拟为今音第四声。
 
 平起首句不押韻;
 ⊙平⊙仄平平仄,
 ⊙仄平平仄仄平。(韻)
 ⊙仄⊙平平仄仄,
 ⊙平⊙仄仄平平。(韻)
 
 严格说,韵押的不完全精准,home (/ho?m /), blown(/blo?n/)母音相同,coda 不同(m and n)但可算是近似. But, you get the idea.
 
 这是作个中学西用,请多指教.
 _________________
 (在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美)
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		| 白水 大学士
 
  
 Joined: 02 Oct 2006
 Posts: 14102
 Location: TORONTO
 白水Collection
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				|  Posted: 2007-03-23 08:13:38    Post subject: Re: 请多指教. |   |  
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				| 谢谢你, 才子. 真高兴在网上能学到如此多的知识, 又给自己找了个上网不为过的理由   
 另, 请看看刚才临屏草译错, 漏了多少内容. 你有中文版吗? 只是想在玩中学点东西. THANKS AGAIN.
 
 
 
 
	  | 博弈 wrote: |  
	  | 以音节作诗(‘七’的原因)。再取下两精神; 1.“一简之内,音韵尽殊;两句之中,轻重悉异。” 替五音找平仄(此处指母音,法国那个谁不是替母音找到颜色么?),此诗内多用不同母音,长、短兼替。
 2.1平 = 2仄,聲的時長上(王力持同观点)。 长音节为平,短音节为仄。单音节字又重音自然是仄,双单音节字(例, ‵gutter),  因对比,重音节处可比拟为今音第四声。
 
 平起首句不押韻;
 ⊙平⊙仄平平仄,
 ⊙仄平平仄仄平。(韻)
 ⊙仄⊙平平仄仄,
 ⊙平⊙仄仄平平。(韻)
 
 严格说,韵押的不完全精准,home (/ho?m /), blown(/blo?n/)母音相同,coda 不同(m and n)但可算是近似. But, you get the idea.
 
 这是作个中学西用,请多指教.
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		| 博弈 榜眼
 
 
 Joined: 21 Dec 2006
 Posts: 4381
 Location: SFO
 博弈Collection
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				|  Posted: 2007-03-23 08:41:55    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 玩中学点东、西,说得好啊。 人过30就不成才子,对怪叟客套就不必。
 没写中文,昨晚刚整的。
 Come-ons 是诱惑的人、物,一个概念吧
 Rampage 状态词拟人,street 就是 喉咙?
 我这就是玩,想象如果这东西能成规矩, 西方人除了日俳外,
 也可以写古绝啊,律对他们来说,太难了. 只是个想法.
 _________________
 (在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美)
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		| 白水 大学士
 
  
 Joined: 02 Oct 2006
 Posts: 14102
 Location: TORONTO
 白水Collection
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				|  Posted: 2007-03-23 09:09:14    Post subject: |   |  
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	  | 博弈 wrote: |  
	  | 玩中学点东、西,说得好啊。 人过30就不成才子,对怪叟客套就不必。
 没写中文,昨晚刚整的。
 Come-ons 是诱惑的人、物,一个概念吧
 Rampage 状态词拟人,street 就是 喉咙?
 我这就是玩,想象如果这东西能成规矩, 西方人除了日俳外,
 也可以写古绝啊,律对他们来说,太难了. 只是个想法.
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 THANKS A LOT. I WISH THAT I GOT IT.
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