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Maple Review Home -> 散文游记

【诗散文】诗意悠悠咏连山

William Zhou周道模
探花

Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection

Posted: 2009-02-05 12:16:34 Post subject: 【诗散文】诗意悠悠咏连山

诗意悠悠咏连山周道模汉州居民，从金雁桥头的沱水清波中，看到了连山古镇的倒影和街上熙熙攘攘赶场的人群。古代的诗人，从汉州的西湖月影出发，步向汉州八景之一的东岭朝霞。他们随手一抛，就抒写出霞光晕染的桃花诗韵。多少代多少人，背着夕阳的余辉走向连山，去沐浴山川衔接山舞水蹈处的朝晖。龙泉山起伏成海，海浪簇花，如海桃花捧出惺忪的红日，佩上连山的清晨。连山又把满身桃花色、心溢桃花香的初阳推献给麦苗儿青、菜花儿黄的川西平原。山民肩挑背扛，披星戴日，翻山越岭，汗渍希望，走进连山千年的集市；然后一碗清茶、两耳评书、三句川戏，满身舒坦地摇回茅舍山林。从长江溯流而上的商船，拐进了沱江，挤过了金堂峡，游进了绵远河，舟船泊在古镇河畔的月下，卸下外地的货物，带来远方的商讯。一叶渔舟也竹篙划水，搅散洗澡的落日；鱼鹰凌波叼出腥味的收获，激起童年的欢乐。水陆码头云集了三教九流的人群和欲望，古镇连山招来了山南海北的客商和梦想。草原染香的风，漫过九顶山，吹皱绵远河，撩醒懒板凳的古树，传诵连山婴孩临盆的啼声。雨打瓦片、烟柳斜燕时，书生雅士在铺板屋内摇头晃脑，吟诵唐人的诗篇，抒发千古的悠情。太子寺的钟声，惊起了双河的波涛，削出了杜家嘴的崖墓，古墓吐出了汉代的传奇。早晨，炉膛生烟、开水鼓泡、馒头出笼时，连山长街已摆好了山货竹器和草药。晌午，小店酒楼食客满堂，桑麻俚语，脸红筋胀，酒香与笑声齐飞。夜晚，川戏锣鼓此起彼伏，台上美人抛媚眼，台下看客痒心扉。自古云：连山的夜戏接着来。看今霄，啤酒广场喷泉溅珠，水帘成幕，灯光焕彩。消夏人举杯邀明月，碰杯饮豪情！春醒时，东山桃海涌绯云，平畴竹翠掩新楼，土溪壕老翁垂纶钓闲情。夏喧时，涌泉浴波劈雪浪，周家梁子卧翠龙，一瓶西泉水爽身心。秋收时，群燕栖跳五线谱，店主喜结进账单，大地稻熟笑丰收。冬藏时，集市人挤冒热气，广场健身舞热浪，两杯连山春燃热情！诗曰：财生商贸流通古镇，香飘文化休闲新城！ _________________ 诗歌是灵魂的歌唱. 周道模

荷梦
进士出身

Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北，黄梅
荷梦Collection

Posted: 2009-02-07 02:04:48 Post subject:

语言有诗韵，但怎么有这么多长句子呢？读起来有些不习惯。

William Zhou周道模
探花

Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection

Posted: 2009-02-07 04:17:38 Post subject:

谢荷梦读评！“悠悠”嘛，有意为之。 _________________ 诗歌是灵魂的歌唱. 周道模

惠远飞
童生

Joined: 14 Jan 2009
Posts: 74
Location: 广东东莞
惠远飞Collection

Posted: 2009-02-10 15:31:02 Post subject:

句子对仗工整！有韵味，就是个别句子读起来是有些吃力，楼主，你悠然了，读者可不得悠然哟！ “响午，小店酒楼食客满堂桑麻俚语脸红筋胀酒香与笑声齐飞。"中“响午”，是否为“晌午”笔误？ _________________ 惠远飞，湖北十堰人。作品见《青春》《芳草》《热风》《短篇小说》《青春诗歌》《作家报》等数十种报刊。著有诗集《流浪的衣裳》。博客：huiyfei.blog.163.com

吟啸徐行
举人

Joined: 03 May 2008
Posts: 1336
Location: 中国安徽
吟啸徐行Collection

Posted: 2009-02-10 20:24:22 Post subject:

有诗歌的气势,有诗歌的韵味,觉得以诗句的形式排列,读起来会方便些. _________________ 彰显自我爱好,弘扬民族文化,追求诗意生活.

William Zhou周道模
探花

Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection

Posted: 2009-02-11 13:22:53 Post subject:

感谢两位的读评！断下句，再看一看，可能好读些吧。 _________________ 诗歌是灵魂的歌唱. 周道模

ddddddllll
童生

Joined: 17 Feb 2009
Posts: 11

ddddddllllCollection

Posted: 2009-02-21 04:56:08 Post subject:

好才情！笔意连绵，古雅大气。

白云闲人
探花

Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

白云闲人Collection

Posted: 2009-02-21 08:00:53 Post subject:

周君好才气,诗情画意!有感赋七绝一首,请指导! .... 古镇新貌 .... ...... ( 七绝 ) ...... 千载桃花呈古韵 , 平畴翠竹影新楼 . 繁荣集市通商贸 , 熙攘人群乐不休 ! _________________ 诗中岁月, 笛里关山.

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2009-02-21 16:58:18 Post subject:

William Zhou周道模 wrote:

感谢两位的读评！断下句，再看一看，可能好读些吧。

这样读起来感觉比较easy. Very Happy

荷梦
进士出身

Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北，黄梅
荷梦Collection

Posted: 2009-02-21 20:44:10 Post subject:

恩，这样好多了！最近忙得很，好久没来了，问候！

William Zhou周道模
探花

Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection

Posted: 2009-02-22 03:57:30 Post subject:

问好荷梦！问好白水！问好白云闲云！问好ddddddiiii! _________________ 诗歌是灵魂的歌唱. 周道模

米运刚
秀才

Joined: 19 Mar 2009
Posts: 918
Location: 四川省德阳市
米运刚Collection

Posted: 2009-04-15 22:55:37 Post subject:

连山有桃花，有如同桃花一般的美女；连山更出诗人，秦子豪唱浅了台湾海峡，周道模也唱红了北美枫；连山更是爽逸之地，“春醒时，东山桃海涌绯云，平畴竹翠掩新楼，土溪壕老翁垂纶钓闲情。夏喧时，涌泉浴波劈雪浪，周家梁子卧翠龙，一瓶西泉水爽身心。秋收时，群燕栖跳五线谱，店主喜结进账单，大地稻熟笑丰收。冬藏时，集市人挤冒热气，广场健身舞热浪，两杯连山春燃热情！诗曰：财生商贸流通古镇，香飘文化休闲新城！”真值得慢慢陶醉慢慢享受。

William Zhou周道模
探花

Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection

Posted: 2009-04-30 13:22:47 Post subject:

米君鼓励我，举例覃子豪；应当举椽笔，蘸霞写海涛！ _________________ 诗歌是灵魂的歌唱. 周道模

zmj166
秀才

Joined: 10 Jan 2009
Posts: 461

zmj166Collection

Posted: 2009-05-09 05:35:21 Post subject:

文笔老辣，文气贯通。

慈林
秀才

Joined: 20 Dec 2008
Posts: 419
Location: 洛杉矶
慈林Collection

Posted: 2009-05-17 23:59:57 Post subject:

好文字,可精练些,缺些深度,

William Zhou周道模
探花

Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection

Posted: 2009-05-18 12:06:45 Post subject:

很高兴慈林提的意见，因专注于“客观”地历史地摹写，个人未进去，思想未进去。 _________________ 诗歌是灵魂的歌唱. 周道模

sfiawong
秀才

Joined: 05 May 2009
Posts: 813
Location: US/HK
sfiawongCollection

Posted: 2009-06-09 22:53:32 Post subject:

周君和白水君都是好才情. 長句無傷大雅.可讀性甚高. 有韻味.正一散文詩呀... _________________ 有評必回應. Love your relatives and friends when they are near you. 我的英文詩: http://poemhunter.com/albert-wong http://facebook.com/sfiawong

William Zhou周道模
探花

Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection

Posted: 2009-06-10 12:58:40 Post subject:

Thank Sfiawong for your encouragement! _________________ 诗歌是灵魂的歌唱. 周道模

William Zhou周道模
探花

Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection

Posted: 2010-04-11 16:06:21 Post subject:

提上，请多批评。 _________________ 诗歌是灵魂的歌唱. 周道模

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