Last Night

[白水]

[Lake]

[白水]

Hi, lake
It seems the Americans say is not exactly the same, this is my worry. I'm going to ask other friends and then confirm, only because the interest in.

But "the title 'Last Night' can mean both" is good enough to answer my question,he's right, that is the my intention. Thanks a lot and pls say "Hi" to your friend.

By the way, do you think this one better?


Last Night

It's over
I know, all is done
like white paper gathering cloud
floatting, falling
slowly and slowly
as a soft quilt over an exhausted body

it is a dream
I know, it's a sweet dream with bitter

who is in the cloud swirling in shiny skirt
flying with breeze
and then fading into the sky

"where are you?"
I cry: " where are you?!"
and I can not see
I cry, again
and again

[Lake]

People don't say exactly the same thing, believe me. So 跟着感觉走。

Ambiguity is not necessarily a bad thing. In conversation, last night can only mean yesterday evening/early hours. If you want it to mean the final night, it's better to say my last night, the last night.

My only concern is "而Last Night 则用于现在时或将来时， 意思是“最后的夜晚/最后一夜". That's not true, I don't care who said it. It can still mean both. Last night - it's over, I'm so glad (bad experience).

Since you want it both ways, you can leave it the way it is.

I feel less confident to give my opinions on others' works now, but I think

"and then fading in to the sky " - " in to" can be one word "into".

"like white paper gathering cloud " -" cloud "can take its plural form "clouds"

Sorry to make you work hard, but looking forward to its final version.

Best,

Lake
_________________
the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins

[白水]

"in to" was a slip of the pen, I changed it. Maybe I will re-consider the whole poem later.

Have a nice weekend

[SLIU]

the end of one thing maybe the start of another... 问好！