William Zhou周道模
探花
注册时间: 2007-06-10
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来自: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模北美枫文集 |
 发表于: 2007-07-23 23:51:29 发表主题: [原创歌词] Welcome to Beijing |
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Welcome to Beijing
by William Zhou
Welcome to Beijing
Birds in trees are singing
Welcome to Beijing
Kites in skies are flying
Welcome to green Beijing
Fresh flowers are smiling
Welcome to civil Beijing
Old buildings are waiting
Welcome to our homes
Together , talking and laughing
Welcome to our lives
Together , singing and dancing
Come to the capital of China
You can visit charming Beijing
Come to the dreamful Olympics
We are enjoying happy Beijing
05-08-2006 in Beijing
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诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
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Lake
举人
注册时间: 2007-01-09
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Lake北美枫文集 |
| 发表于: 2007-07-25 08:51:37 发表主题: |
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I dont' have much to critique, William.
But if you could put Chinese and English versions togeter, that might be an easy read for readers.
Here is one nitpick:
Young flowers?
I am not a big fan of end rhyme with -ing.
Just a thought.
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the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins |
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William Zhou周道模
探花
注册时间: 2007-06-10
帖子: 3950
来自: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模北美枫文集 |
| 发表于: 2007-07-25 16:31:07 发表主题: |
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Thank you, Lake!
the chinese words are also in this column, but they are not living together.
"young flowers" here maybe means "newborn flowers", is that right?
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诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
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Lake
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| 发表于: 2007-07-26 07:06:08 发表主题: |
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Hi William,
I got the meaning, but just felt "young" did not fit here, not very poetic. I thought about other alternatives such as fresh, vibrant, budding, blooming...
For your reference only.
best,
Lake
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William Zhou周道模
探花
注册时间: 2007-06-10
帖子: 3950
来自: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模北美枫文集 |
| 发表于: 2007-07-26 16:18:50 发表主题: |
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Ok! I wiil use "fresh" instead of "young",thank you, Lake!
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kokho
进士出身
注册时间: 2006-11-30
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来自: Singapore
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| 发表于: 2007-07-29 13:43:23 发表主题: |
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问好 广汉地区 古文物很多呀 ：））
。。
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William Zhou周道模
探花
注册时间: 2007-06-10
帖子: 3950
来自: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模北美枫文集 |
| 发表于: 2007-07-30 06:30:33 发表主题: |
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问好kokho，四川省广汉市有一个三星堆---古蜀国的古国古城古遗址文明，是长江文明的代表，和黄河文明一样有相同的辉煌。陶器、玉器、青铜器、金器等文物可以说辉煌灿烂！记得君在新加坡，你到过三星堆吗？
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诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
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Lake
举人
注册时间: 2007-01-09
帖子: 1286
Lake北美枫文集 |
| 发表于: 2007-07-30 09:30:29 发表主题: |
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| William Zhou周道模 写到: |
| 问好kokho，四川省广汉市有一个三星堆---古蜀国的古国古城古遗址文明，是长江文明的代表，和黄河文明一样有相同的辉煌。陶器、玉器、青铜器、金器等文物可以说辉煌灿烂！记得君在新加坡，你到过三星堆吗？ |
这下好了，请道模去看看评评 Kokho 有关“三星堆“的一篇文章。见链接：
http://oson.ca/viewtopic.php?t=1920
总是没腾出空来细读。而且，没去过，没有发言权。
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kokho
进士出身
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来自: Singapore
kokho北美枫文集 |
| 发表于: 2007-07-30 10:31:40 发表主题: |
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sanxingdui 好地方 ：））
最近 这些文物 到新加坡来展览 ！！！
。
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William Zhou周道模
探花
注册时间: 2007-06-10
帖子: 3950
来自: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模北美枫文集 |
| 发表于: 2007-07-30 15:45:05 发表主题: |
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我先看 KOKHO的文章，等几天挂两首三星堆的诗出来。
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