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The Geisha—A Sequel
Lake
举人


注册时间: 2007-01-09
帖子: 1286

Lake北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2007-04-02 12:25:48    发表主题: The Geisha—A Sequel 引用并回复

The Geisha—A Sequel

After Sakura plunges
into deep water
Sayuri, too, plunges
into a void. Petals
discolored, mind entombed.

Inevitably, cherry blossoms
drowned as doomed,
while Sayuri incarnated
as Mistress of Chairman—
her new Danna.

Can a nirvana searched
be reached?
Tears of ecstasy
streaming down her eyes,
gray, misty.

Years proceed.

Uprooted and transplanted,
Sayuri and Chairman
now reside in New York City
to shun away from unspoken
gossip over the heir
to the family's property.

Chairman grows weaker
and weaker, and not long,
leaves Sayuri behind.
Like a kite with a broken
string, she's more puzzled
and scared than sad.

What then, is her destiny?
Blown off the branches
Sakura falls and cries.
Oh dear, oh dear.

Grass turns green and brown.
A stunning debut unveils
a slender, short-haired woman.
In an altered black Kimono,
she plays a violin with her
once-Samisen-playing-hands.
Simple grace and delicacy!

In oblivion, her eyes half closed.
Her head slightly throws back and forth.
Her body moves with the bow
that sings on her heart-strings,
mesmerizing the entire audience
with her melody—
"Memoirs of a Geisha".

With a standing ovation
her heart vibrates.

Sakura unfolds and blooms…


.
_________________
the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins
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kokho
进士出身


注册时间: 2006-11-30
帖子: 2642
来自: Singapore
kokho北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2007-04-02 12:30:56    发表主题: 引用并回复

WELL DONE MY FRIEND Wink

Can a nirvana searched be reached?

THIS IS THE SENTENCE I DO NOT UNDERSTAND...

searched = quest ???
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kokho
进士出身


注册时间: 2006-11-30
帖子: 2642
来自: Singapore
kokho北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2007-04-02 12:32:23    发表主题: 引用并回复

Simple grace and delicacy....

delicacy CAN THIS WORD BE USED EXCEPT TO DESCRIBE FOOD?
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kokho
进士出身


注册时间: 2006-11-30
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来自: Singapore
kokho北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2007-04-02 12:33:31    发表主题: 引用并回复

With a standing ovation
her heart vibrates.

With = AFTER ???

.
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kokho
进士出身


注册时间: 2006-11-30
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来自: Singapore
kokho北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2007-04-02 12:36:08    发表主题: 引用并回复

Her head slightly throws back and forth.
Her body moves with the bow

HER HEAD GYRATES IN UNISON WITH THE BOW (MELODY) ??
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Lake
举人


注册时间: 2007-01-09
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Lake北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2007-04-02 12:51:49    发表主题: 引用并回复

kokho 写到:
WELL DONE MY FRIEND Wink

Can a nirvana searched be reached?

THIS IS THE SENTENCE I DO NOT UNDERSTAND...

searched = quest ???


Embarassed

I read it somewhere in Rexroth's Complete Poems, something like, a nirvana with desire cannot be reached.
_________________
the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins
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Lake
举人


注册时间: 2007-01-09
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Lake北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2007-04-02 12:53:28    发表主题: 引用并回复

kokho 写到:
Simple grace and delicacy....

delicacy CAN THIS WORD BE USED EXCEPT TO DESCRIBE FOOD?


I... guess...so... Wink
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the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins
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Lake
举人


注册时间: 2007-01-09
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Lake北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2007-04-02 12:59:43    发表主题: 引用并回复

kokho 写到:
With a standing ovation
her heart vibrates.

With = AFTER ???

.


I meant at the same time, because of it, not after.
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the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins
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Lake
举人


注册时间: 2007-01-09
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Lake北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2007-04-02 13:10:45    发表主题: 引用并回复

kokho 写到:
Her head slightly throws back and forth.
Her body moves with the bow

HER HEAD GYRATES IN UNISON WITH THE BOW (MELODY) ??


I was trying to describe how her body moves while playing.
But definitely not "Gyrate", that is going to make her dizzy.

Thanks for your scrutiny. I'll mull it over. Smile
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the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins
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kokho
进士出身


注册时间: 2006-11-30
帖子: 2642
来自: Singapore
kokho北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2007-04-02 13:28:01    发表主题: 引用并回复

Lake 写到:
kokho 写到:
WELL DONE MY FRIEND Wink

Can a nirvana searched be reached?

THIS IS THE SENTENCE I DO NOT UNDERSTAND...

searched = quest ???


Embarassed

I read it somewhere in Rexroth's Complete Poems, something like, a nirvana with desire cannot be reached.


Seeking for Nirvana is a quest, not a search for most buddish Wink)
_________________
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kokho
进士出身


注册时间: 2006-11-30
帖子: 2642
来自: Singapore
kokho北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2007-04-02 13:30:33    发表主题: 引用并回复

Lake 写到:
kokho 写到:
With a standing ovation
her heart vibrates.

With = AFTER ???

.


I meant at the same time, because of it, not after.


IN RESPONSE TO A STANDING OVATION, HER HEART VIBRATES ??

.. SOMEHOW I FELT THE "WITH" IS OUT OF PLACE ....

.
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kokho
进士出身


注册时间: 2006-11-30
帖子: 2642
来自: Singapore
kokho北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2007-04-02 13:32:33    发表主题: 引用并回复

Lake 写到:
kokho 写到:
Her head slightly throws back and forth.
Her body moves with the bow

HER HEAD GYRATES IN UNISON WITH THE BOW (MELODY) ??


I was trying to describe how her body moves while playing.
But definitely not "Gyrate", that is going to make her dizzy.

Thanks for your scrutiny. I'll mull it over. Smile


I BELIEVE YOU CAN FIND A BETTER WORD THAN GYRATES ...

DO TRY TO VISIT WWW.DICTIONARY.COM ... YOU WILL FIND THE RIGHT WORD THERE...

..
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Lake
举人


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Lake北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2007-04-03 05:44:41    发表主题: 引用并回复

kokho 写到:

Seeking for Nirvana is a quest, not a search for most buddish Wink)


Ignorant of buddhism, I thought seek, search and quest are synonyms. If not, then a nirvana searched cannot be attained.

Did you suggest "search" be replaced by quest?
_________________
the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins
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Lake
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Lake北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2007-04-03 05:46:34    发表主题: 引用并回复

kokho 写到:


IN RESPONSE TO A STANDING OVATION, HER HEART VIBRATES ??

.. SOMEHOW I FELT THE "WITH" IS OUT OF PLACE ....

.


"Her heart vibrates to the standing ovation", sounds in place?
_________________
the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins
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Lake
举人


注册时间: 2007-01-09
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Lake北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2007-04-03 05:54:24    发表主题: 引用并回复

kokho 写到:


I BELIEVE YOU CAN FIND A BETTER WORD THAN GYRATES ...

DO TRY TO VISIT WWW.DICTIONARY.COM ... YOU WILL FIND THE RIGHT WORD THERE...

..


Thanks for the link. Still looking. It is not a circular movement.
"Toss"?

That you raised many questions about this poem really made me happy. Thank you!

Much appreciation,

Lake
_________________
the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins
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kokho
进士出身


注册时间: 2006-11-30
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来自: Singapore
kokho北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2007-04-03 10:12:29    发表主题: 引用并回复

Discussion make me paying more attention to this second language of ours...

Cool Laughing

..
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Lake
举人


注册时间: 2007-01-09
帖子: 1286

Lake北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2007-04-04 17:26:40    发表主题: 引用并回复

(A revision is made based on an English friend's suggestion "my only tentative suggestion is to have a more defined tone of restraint (avoiding the directness of exclamations and questions). " Now all questions and exclamations are eliminated.)

As Sakura plunges
into deep water
Sayuri plunges, too
in an affair with a man—
a mere stranger. Petals
discolored, mind entombed.

Inevitably, cherry blossoms
drowned as doomed,
while Sayuri incarnated
as Mistress of Chairman—
her new Danna.

In an ecstasy of joy
tears streaming down
her eyes, grey and misty.

As years drift by...

Sayuri and Chairman
now reside in New York City.

Chairman grows weaker and weaker
and not long, leaves Sayuri behind.
Like a kite with a broken string,
she's more puzzled and scared than sad.

Blown off the branches
Sakura falls and cries.

Grass turns green and brown.
At a concert, a slender
short-haired woman
in an altered black kimono
plays a violin with her
once-Samisen-playing-hands.
Simple grace and delicacy.

Her eyes half closed.
Her head slightly throws back and forth.
Her body moves with the bow
that sings on her heart-strings.

“Memoirs of a Geisha”.

With a standing ovation
her heart vibrates.
Sakura blooms…

.
_________________
the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins
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kokho
进士出身


注册时间: 2006-11-30
帖子: 2642
来自: Singapore
kokho北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2007-04-09 00:19:02    发表主题: 引用并回复

需要时间 ;))

。。
_________________
乒乓、摄影、诗歌
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Lake
举人


注册时间: 2007-01-09
帖子: 1286

Lake北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2007-04-16 12:07:57    发表主题: 引用并回复

kokho 写到:
需要时间 ;))

。。


Yes, Sir.

以后什么时候吧。现在没心情。好像有点迷糊,想去研读一下 zen. Wink
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