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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

我跛着腿

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nobody
进士出身

Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection

Posted: 2007-11-17 21:30:43 Post subject: 我跛着腿

我跛着腿 89 我跛着腿走过我的恐惧每一种可能的恶化都发生了不可能的，也发生了我爱恋的群岛在下沉我摸过的脸，消失在波涛间有人示意我沉默──其实我早就倒下了，在希望倒下之前秃鹫的叫声在山谷回应惊恐的浆果怦然坠落只有那只鼢鼠还保持着乐观忙着把榛子和赖草搬进地洞天空象蝙蝠一样，倒挂在参宿上我脚下，面色腊黄的土地在颤抖一种疯狂的愿望，一种幻觉被强行寄托在上面那边，我看到有人在交头接耳地议论烟头在脸庞间一闪一灭远处，两座山，移动巨大的阴影在相互靠拢，商量着出逃的计划 ==================== 外一首吧致D.X. 89,12,6 多好听的声音！多好看的脸！你被谁叫走了？他找你去有什么事情？你的消失象一次停电象一次扳道工的失职…… 在你消失的一瞬间我对你产生了爱情！在黑暗中，我象雪茄一样冥想用火蜘蛛似的两眼凝望你你身躯小巧如镫骨，微笑甜美如蜜糖象苯环一样端庄，又有单质的纯良窗外，风极力变换声调在说另一个单口相声屋檐在傻笑，树在陪笑── 但我却想哭！多好听的声音！多好看的脸…… 雪片在半空中变成雨滴，加速降落雨在织它的斜纹布──织！你被谁叫走了？他找你去有什么事情？噢！他们到底把你弄到哪里去了？比尘埃飘得还远吗？比麸皮还高吗？我将与我的情敌挽起手来将你寻找──眼里含着悲愤的泪水！寻找你比尘埃，比麸皮还自由的头发寻找你嘴唇上的电，领口里的河狸香！ _________________ I'm nobody! Who are you?

nobody
进士出身

Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection

Posted: 2007-11-17 21:36:05 Post subject:

还是老的。有亲身体验，感触也深，记得半小时就写完了，不是很顺，凑合着读罢。 _________________ I'm nobody! Who are you?

hepingdao
Site Admin

Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection

Posted: 2007-11-17 21:39:27 Post subject:

这个写得很有厚度哦感触深 _________________ 为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫!

沉木
童生

Joined: 05 Nov 2007
Posts: 6

沉木Collection

Posted: 2007-11-17 21:48:12 Post subject:

第一首很好啊 _________________ 不是我找到了诗歌,而是诗歌找到了我!

nobody
进士出身

Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection

Posted: 2007-11-17 21:49:25 Post subject:

谢谢沉木。有待提高。 _________________ I'm nobody! Who are you?

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2007-11-17 21:50:02 Post subject:

NOBODY, 看你整天瞎开心, 诗歌写的还真不赖. 顶个

nobody
进士出身

Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection

Posted: 2007-11-17 21:56:31 Post subject:

谢谢白水。职业业余。大家水平高。我是凑热闹。 _________________ I'm nobody! Who are you?

半溪明月
榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2007-11-17 22:17:57 Post subject:

写的厚重，有感情～这样的诗歌该早拿出来给我们欣赏～祝好～

nobody
进士出身

Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection

Posted: 2007-11-17 22:25:31 Post subject:

谢谢明月。实在差很远。多年来虽然辍笔，但鉴赏力还是在变化，看以前的，多有不顺眼之处。敢拿出来已经是脸皮厚了，哈哈。问好。 _________________ I'm nobody! Who are you?

半溪明月
榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2007-11-17 22:44:24 Post subject:

nobody wrote:

谢谢明月。实在差很远。多年来虽然辍笔，但鉴赏力还是在变化，看以前的，多有不顺眼之处。敢拿出来已经是脸皮厚了，哈哈。问好。 Embarassed

要你这样说，我的脸皮不是更厚了．总归比我的诗歌强多了～ Very Happy

nobody
进士出身

Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection

Posted: 2007-11-17 22:52:05 Post subject:

[quote="半溪明月"]

nobody wrote:

要你这样说，我的脸皮不是更厚了．总归比我的诗歌强多了～ Very Happy

不是谦虚，还真没有你的好。不过，我们俩不用在这里争这第N名了。同厚，同厚。
_________________
I'm nobody! Who are you?

半溪明月
榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2007-11-17 23:00:12 Post subject:

[quote="nobody"]

半溪明月 wrote:

nobody wrote:

要你这样说，我的脸皮不是更厚了．总归比我的诗歌强多了～ Very Happy

不是谦虚，还真没有你的好。不过，我们俩不用在这里争这第N名了。同厚，同厚。

呵呵，那就不争了．无意争这些，争的都没有意思～ Very Happy

韩少君
进士出身

Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection

Posted: 2007-11-17 23:04:37 Post subject:

确实不错。 _________________ 靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345

nobody
进士出身

Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection

Posted: 2007-11-17 23:20:45 Post subject:

多谢少君。头可断，血可流，自知之明不可丢。月黑风高，回家洗洗睡了。 _________________ I'm nobody! Who are you?

jemmy
秀才

Joined: 06 Jun 2007
Posts: 414
Location: china
jemmyCollection

Posted: 2007-11-18 01:48:41 Post subject:

就看第一首 _________________ http://blog.sina.com.cn/sowhy

荷梦
进士出身

Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北，黄梅
荷梦Collection

Posted: 2007-11-18 02:02:40 Post subject:

的确,第一首很好!学习!

彭世学
秀才

Joined: 24 Jun 2007
Posts: 187
Location: 中国
彭世学Collection

Posted: 2007-11-18 17:34:41 Post subject:

秃鹫的叫声在山谷回应惊恐的浆果怦然坠落精彩多多，提读！ _________________ 认为诗是悬崖上的孤松，栖鸟是她唯一的养料我的博客： http://blog.sina.com.cn/pengshixue 《网文荟萃》报：http://bbs.wangwenw.com/index.asp

nobody
进士出身

Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection

Posted: 2007-11-18 19:44:04 Post subject:

感谢jemmy, 荷梦，彭世学。大家太客气了，谢谢。 _________________ I'm nobody! Who are you?

黑雨滴
秀才

Joined: 11 Jun 2007
Posts: 144

黑雨滴Collection

Posted: 2007-11-19 20:03:15 Post subject:

有很多东西是内外的 _________________ 个人主页：http://blog.sina.com.cn/afirewang

nobody
进士出身

Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection

Posted: 2007-11-19 20:41:26 Post subject:

多谢黑雨滴阅读赐教。 _________________ I'm nobody! Who are you?

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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