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[明月乱弹]:小衣之【大地主】
半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-10 19:42:53    Post subject: [明月乱弹]:小衣之【大地主】 Reply with quote

【大地主】 作者:小衣

他看起来好象特别地吃惊
豆芽般幼稚

一个典型的智商、情商优秀的上海男子
通过他的双脚我感到这儿的邪恶

一圈又
一圈

一圈…

这所大房子
在他未来到之前它多么隐蔽
这会儿他一下子发现了它,立即感到它的阴森可怖

他从墙外看。数不清的窗户,他发傻
噢,这个恬静的、温顺的、有教养的女人

他周旋了很久:“我想象不出来,这个地方能产出你这样灵性的女诗人”


[明月乱弹]:
受朋友委托,为小衣诗人点评首诗歌。我和小衣并不相识,因为自己接触诗歌论坛的时间不长,虽然早就听说过小衣诗歌不错,但读小衣的诗歌还是在最近。她诗歌【大地主】发过来,一种独特的气质,一下子就抓住了我,让我想象和感叹藏隐在这诗歌背后的,是一个怎样灵性的女人。一种神秘感让并不擅长点评的我,忐忑接呈了下来。下面我就跟着感觉解析下小衣的这首诗。

这首诗歌应该是在特定的背景下完成的,可以把它当成一个故事来读。整首诗歌富有浓郁的质感,画面感强烈,但读来却并不轻松,有沉重的压抑感。这或许因为诗人或者智者,在这个世界上或多或少都担负着一些使命吧。诗题【大地主】要把整首读完,才能领会到它的内涵,我们暂且放下。从诗里可以看出有一场男女的对话和交涉,借助男子的表情和内心,初识的好奇和震惊,最终,通过男子的一句话把一个“恬静的、温顺的、有教养的”、“灵性的”女诗人,活脱脱表现出来。

“一个典型的智商、情商优秀的上海男子/通过他的双脚我感到这儿的邪恶”,这个“上海男子”代表一种观念上的常人,“女诗人”也不能单单理解成“女诗人”,可看作是“上海男人”的对立阶层。男人双脚的盘桓探测为什么让女诗人感到这儿邪恶呢?这所大房子,应该就是女诗人的内心世界了,它是隐蔽的,是阴森可怖的。这是通过“一个典型的智商、情商优秀的上海男子”的幼稚作比较,给女诗人的感悟。“他从墙外看。数不清的窗户,他发傻/噢,这个恬静的、温顺的、有教养的女人 ”,“数不清的窗户”是诗人的心灵窗户,从墙外看,也只能看到透着光亮,而探询不到内涵和实质。这些光亮是一种诱惑,对常人有一种强烈的神秘感,而诗人自己却不以为然。也许只有这样“邪恶”、“阴森可怖”的地方,才能产出这样灵性的诗人,这“邪恶”和“阴森”只能是诗人异于常人的对生命、对生活、对爱情,对万事万物的一种透彻能力。细致的外场景刻画和内心独白,大大增加了诗歌的可读性和厚重度。短短的十几行表现这么多的内涵,不能不佩服小衣的功力。再细究题目【大地主】,诗人内心的丰富不能不说是个”大地主”了。

以上仅是本人对此诗的一些浅显理解,也许只解得其表,而未得内核,愿和大家共同探讨提高!这里祝愿小衣诗人的诗歌之路越走越宽广。
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-10 19:51:54    Post subject: Reply with quote

由于自己的解读能力有限,希望能听听大家的意见~
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樱花听雨
秀才


Joined: 24 Oct 2006
Posts: 356
Location: 中国黑龙江省国电双鸭山发电有限公司化学分场 丁冬梅 邮编 155136
樱花听雨Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-10 19:59:16    Post subject: Reply with quote

不好妄加评论,诗歌在特定情况下是仁者见仁的事情。
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樱花听雨搜狐博客
樱花听雨新浪博客
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William Zhou周道模
探花


Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-12 15:36:02    Post subject: Reply with quote

语言散文化,缺少诗意。
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诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
周道模
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-12 19:34:21    Post subject: Reply with quote

William Zhou周道模 wrote:
语言散文化,缺少诗意。

别人是出诗集~ Very Happy
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荷梦
进士出身


Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北,黄梅
荷梦Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-12 21:01:25    Post subject: Reply with quote

诗的确是仁者见仁的事。感觉读明月的评点文字更享受!呵呵!
可是腾讯的小衣?她,还有本少的诗在那里很受推崇。不过,我没那水平欣赏。 Embarassed
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燕庄生铁
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Joined: 06 May 2007
Posts: 116

燕庄生铁Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-12 22:48:19    Post subject: Reply with quote

欣赏。
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杨海军
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PostPosted: 2007-10-13 04:14:19    Post subject: Reply with quote

诗不错,评论更精彩!!!
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走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
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半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-13 19:56:58    Post subject: Reply with quote

感谢樱花听雨\William Zhou周道模\荷梦\燕庄生铁
\杨海军  来读~
荷梦:应该是那个小衣了,她去的其他诗歌论坛也不少的~不只在腾讯吧
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黑雨滴
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黑雨滴Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-19 19:10:35    Post subject: Reply with quote

明月解读得好
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中国评论家冷梅
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Joined: 13 Oct 2007
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PostPosted: 2007-10-19 21:02:56    Post subject: Reply with quote

解读得好!
房子再大,也会压抑诗人的思想.
只有人们达成互信,才可无限拓展心灵的空间! Laughing
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http://lenm.exvv.com/
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-11-04 00:48:35    Post subject: Reply with quote

中国评论家冷梅 wrote:
解读得好!
房子再大,也会压抑诗人的思想.
只有人们达成互信,才可无限拓展心灵的空间! Laughing


这个观点不错,多向你学习~

问好楼上的石头!
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