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To Forum Pals 致论坛网友(两写)
Lake
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Joined: 09 Jan 2007
Posts: 1286

LakeCollection
PostPosted: 2007-07-06 22:25:20    Post subject: To Forum Pals 致论坛网友(两写) Reply with quote

<>
苛刻的剑锋
潇洒游刃五形中
挟异域风情

<>
博东复弈西
古今中外数符奇
读懂不容易

<>
平平仄仄平
何需翻山涉溪觅
戴珏舞秘籍

*
The south palm trees ripe with coco
Under a bodhi tree sits Kokho
He calms people with Zen
Shooting montage with his pen
Five style poems, what a rococo

*
Marksman means Mark is a skillful man
Shooting at target not others can
His reasoning mingles
With romance that tingles
Many a verse fun for us to scan

*
Edgar runs a business report
A rhyme watcher, no meter comes short
He spots, “under the sun”
Differs from “in the sun”
It disturbs him if a form distorts
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the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins
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戴玨
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PostPosted: 2007-07-06 22:49:10    Post subject: Reply with quote

英文版好多了! Smile
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kino
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PostPosted: 2007-07-07 05:16:05    Post subject: Reply with quote

The south palm trees ripe with coco
Under a bodhi tree sits Kokho
He calms people with Zen
Shooting montage with his pen
Five style poems, what a rococo

witty~
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博弈
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PostPosted: 2007-07-07 10:44:32    Post subject: Reply with quote

very good attempt in giving a Chinese way of 5,7,5 poem,
and also the new designed 5-line rhyme scheme in the English version.
This is poetry in forms according to my '0 expansion' theory, then
these forms hold essence wrt. wits. I like these.

ps. Sorry no Chinese input here.
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Lake
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PostPosted: 2007-07-07 10:51:30    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢戴玨和Kino 到访留言。

周末,本来想顺口溜一下的,结果溜不顺。
罢了,罢了。没入门。
只要三位不介意。
别人我绝不敢乱点。
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Lake
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PostPosted: 2007-07-07 20:13:22    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for the comment, Mark.

Yes, the form and the rhyme scheme and the tone. You got it.

What is your '0 expansion' theory?
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Lake
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PostPosted: 2007-07-08 06:10:50    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks 戴玨 for the encouraging words.

Here is the revised verse 3:

Edgar, the king of rhyme and meter
A form in mind used as a ruler
He spots “under the sun”
Differs from “in the sun”
An eyesore when he sees a “cheater”
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William Zhou周道模
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PostPosted: 2007-07-24 17:07:43    Post subject: Reply with quote

i've read these chinese poems and english poems.thank you for your work
and your discussions.
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Lake
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PostPosted: 2007-07-25 08:07:58    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks William. Really for fun - fun with different characters and a bit laugh that's what life is for, isn't it?
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kokho
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PostPosted: 2007-07-30 10:28:48    Post subject: Reply with quote

厉害 你让我惭愧了 :))

这样的游戏人间。。。 你的诗歌就出来了

《》淌开心怀来玩吧 !!!

Cool Laughing
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William Zhou周道模
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PostPosted: 2007-08-15 15:57:50    Post subject: Reply with quote

诸位:
生活本来应该fun
为何人人顶个sun
世界处处可play
抛了忧伤抱个gay
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诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
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Lake
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PostPosted: 2007-08-15 17:27:12    Post subject: Reply with quote

William Zhou周道模 wrote:
诸位:
生活本来应该fun
为何人人顶个sun
世界处处可play
抛了忧伤抱个gay


Hi William,

It is really fun. Laughing

gay, has multi meanings that are completely different especially when it is used as different parts of speech i.e. adj or n. Laughing
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