Lake 举人

Joined: 09 Jan 2007 Posts: 1286
LakeCollection |
Posted: 2007-07-06 22:25:20 Post subject: To Forum Pals 致论坛网友(两写) |
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苛刻的剑锋
潇洒游刃五形中
挟异域风情
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博东复弈西
古今中外数符奇
读懂不容易
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平平仄仄平
何需翻山涉溪觅
戴珏舞秘籍
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The south palm trees ripe with coco
Under a bodhi tree sits Kokho
He calms people with Zen
Shooting montage with his pen
Five style poems, what a rococo
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Marksman means Mark is a skillful man
Shooting at target not others can
His reasoning mingles
With romance that tingles
Many a verse fun for us to scan
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Edgar runs a business report
A rhyme watcher, no meter comes short
He spots, “under the sun”
Differs from “in the sun”
It disturbs him if a form distorts _________________ the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins |
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戴玨 秀才

Joined: 03 Jan 2007 Posts: 808
戴玨Collection |
Posted: 2007-07-06 22:49:10 Post subject: |
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英文版好多了!  _________________ I labour by singing light
我的blog
我的專欄 |
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kino 秀才
Joined: 23 Dec 2006 Posts: 411 Location: beijing kinoCollection |
Posted: 2007-07-07 05:16:05 Post subject: |
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The south palm trees ripe with coco
Under a bodhi tree sits Kokho
He calms people with Zen
Shooting montage with his pen
Five style poems, what a rococo
witty~ |
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博弈 榜眼
Joined: 21 Dec 2006 Posts: 4381 Location: SFO 博弈Collection |
Posted: 2007-07-07 10:44:32 Post subject: |
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very good attempt in giving a Chinese way of 5,7,5 poem,
and also the new designed 5-line rhyme scheme in the English version.
This is poetry in forms according to my '0 expansion' theory, then
these forms hold essence wrt. wits. I like these.
ps. Sorry no Chinese input here. _________________ (在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美) |
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Lake 举人

Joined: 09 Jan 2007 Posts: 1286
LakeCollection |
Posted: 2007-07-07 10:51:30 Post subject: |
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谢谢戴玨和Kino 到访留言。
周末,本来想顺口溜一下的,结果溜不顺。
罢了,罢了。没入门。
只要三位不介意。
别人我绝不敢乱点。 _________________ the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins |
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Lake 举人

Joined: 09 Jan 2007 Posts: 1286
LakeCollection |
Posted: 2007-07-07 20:13:22 Post subject: |
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Thanks for the comment, Mark.
Yes, the form and the rhyme scheme and the tone. You got it.
What is your '0 expansion' theory? _________________ the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins |
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Lake 举人

Joined: 09 Jan 2007 Posts: 1286
LakeCollection |
Posted: 2007-07-08 06:10:50 Post subject: |
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Thanks 戴玨 for the encouraging words.
Here is the revised verse 3:
Edgar, the king of rhyme and meter
A form in mind used as a ruler
He spots “under the sun”
Differs from “in the sun”
An eyesore when he sees a “cheater” _________________ the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins |
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William Zhou周道模 探花
Joined: 10 Jun 2007 Posts: 3950 Location: 中国四川广汉 William Zhou周道模Collection |
Posted: 2007-07-24 17:07:43 Post subject: |
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i've read these chinese poems and english poems.thank you for your work
and your discussions. _________________ 诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
周道模 |
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Lake 举人

Joined: 09 Jan 2007 Posts: 1286
LakeCollection |
Posted: 2007-07-25 08:07:58 Post subject: |
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Thanks William. Really for fun - fun with different characters and a bit laugh that's what life is for, isn't it? _________________ the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins |
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kokho 进士出身

Joined: 30 Nov 2006 Posts: 2642 Location: Singapore kokhoCollection |
Posted: 2007-07-30 10:28:48 Post subject: |
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厉害 你让我惭愧了 :))
这样的游戏人间。。。 你的诗歌就出来了
《》淌开心怀来玩吧 !!!
 _________________ 乒乓、摄影、诗歌 |
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William Zhou周道模 探花
Joined: 10 Jun 2007 Posts: 3950 Location: 中国四川广汉 William Zhou周道模Collection |
Posted: 2007-08-15 15:57:50 Post subject: |
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诸位:
生活本来应该fun
为何人人顶个sun
世界处处可play
抛了忧伤抱个gay _________________ 诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
周道模 |
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Lake 举人

Joined: 09 Jan 2007 Posts: 1286
LakeCollection |
Posted: 2007-08-15 17:27:12 Post subject: |
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William Zhou周道模 wrote: |
诸位:
生活本来应该fun
为何人人顶个sun
世界处处可play
抛了忧伤抱个gay |
Hi William,
It is really fun.
gay, has multi meanings that are completely different especially when it is used as different parts of speech i.e. adj or n.  _________________ the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins |
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