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"HuaHe Cup" 2007 Chinese Mainland and Oversea Poetry Competition and Non-governmental Magazines and Newspapers Joint Exhibition starts on the first day of 2007.
  
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甜蜜蜜(五首)
闽北阿秀
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Joined: 20 Mar 2007
Posts: 126

闽北阿秀Collection
PostPosted: 2007-06-14 05:27:14    Post subject: 甜蜜蜜(五首) Reply with quote

《甜蜜蜜》

你亲我
你说,有一种苦味,沾满舌头
我说亲爱的
苦,只在表面
心是温热的,没有咸味
再深入点,有鲜红的花蕾,蜂蜜一样
轻轻的歌声
愉快,慢节奏
不要太婉转
请湿润、摩擦我的嘴唇
别停止,亲爱的
你要情不自禁地说出甜蜜的话,不要藏在心里

2007-4-9

《橘子花开》

橘子花开了
白色的,很小,却也满枝条
四月初的一场雨,刚下过,天空并不明净
上山的路,踩满凌乱的脚印
看得见的一片杉木,一根根笔直向上
山弯弯里,是父亲的墓地
二十多年前,风水先生看过,那里是块宝地
此刻,我就站在父亲墓前,空气里有
湿润的橘子花香

2007-4-10

《荷塘》

冬季早已过去
我一直没机会跟她亲近,说悄悄话
我想,天晴了,太阳出来
四月末,气候转暖,亭亭玉立,荷花带露开
抵不住诱惑,我要微笑着靠近她
并因她而解衣宽带

2007-4-11

《突然》

天是突然暗下来的
我只一眨眼,它比静立的树还黑得快
灯也是突然亮起来的,有一种速度在飞跑
在眼前,在我没发觉之前
我的内心,也是突然亮起来的
像遭遇突然绽放的栀子花,特别白
甚至有些发痒

2007-4-12

《九曲云雾》

不去别处
我们在九曲聚集
从茶园来,归隐于山林
从丹崖来,在水里澄碧
像群白色的水鸟,在天地间飞翔,吸取精华
自得其乐,飘忽而安逸
清晨,最美好的时刻
天地空旷,视野高远
没有羁绊,不羡鸳鸯,不羡仙
在山峰间盘桓
等待朝阳,我们腾空而起,就是红色的精灵

2007-5-14
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-06-14 07:08:23    Post subject: Reply with quote

细腻,真情
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江晨
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Joined: 22 Feb 2007
Posts: 102
Location: 中国浙江
江晨Collection
PostPosted: 2007-06-14 22:17:52    Post subject: Reply with quote

诗意洋溢
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中国龙泉剑瓷文化网:http://www.lqjcwh.com/ 我的博客网址: http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1246181482 http://aaabc888.bokee.com/ 我的创作室网址:http://www.zjlm.net/web/web_article.asp?wid=214
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山城子
榜眼


Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 4771
Location: 中国贵州
山城子Collection
PostPosted: 2007-06-14 23:27:28    Post subject: Reply with quote

口语小诗,读起来特亲切!
——问好!
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诗是人生的雅伴儿。
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闽北阿秀
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Joined: 20 Mar 2007
Posts: 126

闽北阿秀Collection
PostPosted: 2007-06-15 06:49:05    Post subject: Reply with quote

白水 Moonlight wrote:
细腻,真情

谢谢点评!
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闽北阿秀
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Joined: 20 Mar 2007
Posts: 126

闽北阿秀Collection
PostPosted: 2007-06-15 06:50:18    Post subject: Reply with quote

江晨 wrote:
诗意洋溢

谢谢!
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闽北阿秀
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Joined: 20 Mar 2007
Posts: 126

闽北阿秀Collection
PostPosted: 2007-06-15 06:51:30    Post subject: Reply with quote

山城子 wrote:
口语小诗,读起来特亲切!
——问好!

为了进一步亲切,拥抱一下!
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半溪明月
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Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-06-15 08:02:11    Post subject: Reply with quote

深情的小诗~问好!
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韩少君
进士出身


Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection
PostPosted: 2007-06-15 14:35:40    Post subject: Reply with quote

今早的豆浆不用放糖了!
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靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345
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半溪明月
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Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-06-17 01:32:36    Post subject: Reply with quote

转贴下左岸的对本诗的评论:


“甜蜜”给诗人带来好心情,这二首灵动溢出,采用“移情”技巧,移情,就是将人的感情移植到某一个具体的事物中,使物也有了人的感情。看见花开,心就和它一起开;看见鸟飞,心就和它一起飞;看见灯亮,心就和它一起亮;看见火灭,心就和它一起灭……再也简单不过。
“移情”这个概念,最早是由罗伯特"费肖尔在他的《视觉的形式感》一文中提出来的。他强调,写作者应该把自己的感情渗到里面去。这个“里面”,自然就是文字了。后来,维柯也说,“要把有生命的事物的生命移交给物体”,“把自己转化到事物里边去,变成那些事物”,说的是同样的一个意思。推荐。
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