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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

童年纪事之宁静的夏夜

半溪明月
榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2007-06-01 07:21:32 Post subject: 童年纪事之宁静的夏夜

童年纪事之宁静的夏夜文/半溪明月此刻，祖母的笑如菊一声洪亮的吆喝喊来漫天星斗喊来久远的夏夜门前支起的钢丝床祖父点燃驱蚊的艾蒿浓浓的白烟高过屋脊的月亮我们用鼻子追寻清香金龟子牵着弟弟在灯光下奔跑织女星拧开祖母的话匣子教书的父亲懂点星座大瓶灌小瓶预测明天是否有雨石墩上纳凉的乔婆婆，耷拉着脑袋手中的蒲扇晃一下歇三下腿一抬，屁嘣得山响惊跑偎依脚边的小黄猫夜渐深，小草和虫虫们早已安眠微风拢着紫桐叶细碎低语树下冰镇的绿豆汤和生鸡蛋是我们明早晨读的饮料夜，如此宁静小姑娘枕着祖母的胳膊一眨眼，就睡过了几十个春秋恍如昨夜之梦 2007-6-1

hepingdao
Site Admin

Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection

Posted: 2007-06-01 08:28:51 Post subject:

夜，如此宁静小姑娘枕着祖母的胳膊一眨眼，就睡过了几十个春秋恍如昨夜之梦细腻如梦好 _________________ 为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫!

半溪明月
榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2007-06-01 09:49:46 Post subject:

hepingdao wrote:

夜，如此宁静
小姑娘枕着祖母的胳膊
一眨眼，就睡过了几十个春秋
恍如昨夜之梦

细腻如梦
好

谢岛主批阅~问好!

ZY
秀才

Joined: 20 Feb 2007
Posts: 163
Location: 台北
ZYCollection

Posted: 2007-06-01 11:33:41 Post subject:

此刻，祖母的笑如菊 *吸引人的开头. 问好. _________________ 陌生人遺落的足印們已經靜坐良久

韩少君
进士出身

Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection

Posted: 2007-06-01 12:27:17 Post subject:

敢问明月家乡哪里？路过时或许一去。 _________________ 靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345

半溪明月
榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2007-06-01 17:51:50 Post subject:

韩少君 wrote:

敢问明月家乡哪里？路过时或许一去。

故乡现在是回不去了,我现在四川绵阳,九寨沟,黄龙,江油李白故居等都离我们很近,呵呵，有机会路过，一定尽地主之谊~期待着! Very Happy

半溪明月
榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2007-06-01 17:53:20 Post subject:

ZY wrote:

此刻，祖母的笑如菊

*吸引人的开头.
问好.

谢ZY赏评~问好

山城子
榜眼

Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 4771
Location: 中国贵州
山城子Collection

Posted: 2007-06-01 18:11:21 Post subject:

夜，如此宁静小姑娘枕着祖母的胳膊一眨眼，就睡过了几十个春秋恍如昨夜之梦 ——问好明月！童年是个美丽的宝库！ _________________ 诗是人生的雅伴儿。

半溪明月
榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2007-06-01 18:13:18 Post subject:

山城子 wrote:

夜，如此宁静
小姑娘枕着祖母的胳膊
一眨眼，就睡过了几十个春秋
恍如昨夜之梦

——问好明月！童年是个美丽的宝库！

恩，我有幸福的童年,什么时候都比较幸福 Very Happy

山城子
榜眼

Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 4771
Location: 中国贵州
山城子Collection

Posted: 2007-06-01 18:23:37 Post subject:

那就多些幸福的感觉，让我们分享！ _________________ 诗是人生的雅伴儿。

天汉阿文
童生

Joined: 01 Jun 2007
Posts: 37
Location: 中国陕西汉中
天汉阿文Collection

Posted: 2007-06-02 04:28:52 Post subject:

缅怀祝母好，叙述嫌多。

漂之雨
童生

Joined: 01 Dec 2006
Posts: 53

漂之雨Collection

Posted: 2007-06-02 13:11:11 Post subject: 童年是成年的摇篮!

描写如能提炼出练达的意象就更富有灵性了问好!

半溪明月
榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2007-06-02 20:10:22 Post subject:

接受阿文和漂哥的意见~谢谢指正!

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