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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

红樱桃

荧石
童生

Joined: 21 Mar 2007
Posts: 31

荧石Collection

Posted: 2007-05-19 21:33:15 Post subject: 红樱桃

那被月色涂红的无花果星光下露出了淡淡的微笑一棵红杉树用那充血的眼睛企望着灵犀一如低吟的簫笙在脉管里奏成了一曲相思的心音思绪恰似一只只蝴蝶叮在心岸夜夜在静阑的天幕下狂飞

赵福治
探花

Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3456
Location: 中国北京
赵福治Collection

Posted: 2007-05-20 02:39:53 Post subject:

恰似一只只蝴蝶叮在心岸夜夜在静阑的天幕下狂飞

nobody
进士出身

Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection

Posted: 2007-05-20 03:21:38 Post subject:

结尾不错，整体不算完美。 _________________ I'm nobody! Who are you?

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2007-05-20 05:08:17 Post subject:

半阕相思曲, 一点红樱桃

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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