qinghongh 榜眼
 
  Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
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				 Posted: 2010-04-04 17:13:52    Post subject: 五绝	春日怀故乡 | 
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				五绝	春日怀故乡
 
 
杨柳春风岸,青山绿水间。
 
遥遥桑梓地,梦里几回还。 | 
			 
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		白云闲人 探花
 
  Joined: 26 Aug 2007 Posts: 3466
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				 Posted: 2010-04-04 18:12:09    Post subject:  | 
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				游子梦,
 
怀乡诗.
 
意切切,
 
情依依! _________________ 诗中岁月,
 
笛里关山. | 
			 
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		qinghongh 榜眼
 
  Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
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				 Posted: 2010-04-04 19:53:38    Post subject:  | 
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	  | 白云闲人 wrote: | 
	 
	
	  游子梦,
 
怀乡诗.
 
意切切,
 
情依依! | 
	 
 
 
 
谢白云老师和诗。 | 
			 
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		黄洋界 探花
  
  Joined: 23 Mar 2007 Posts: 3301 Location: 多伦多,加拿大 黄洋界Collection | 
		
		
			
				 Posted: 2010-04-05 01:24:03    Post subject:  | 
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				思乡情切切,"梦里几回还".问好! _________________ ++++++++++++++
 
喜金石书画,友竹菊梅兰 | 
			 
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		笑聊 探花
 
  Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection | 
		
		
			
				 Posted: 2010-04-05 02:20:08    Post subject:  | 
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				绝句-和庆宏兄
 
 
故里春风杨柳岸,新颜处处展其间!
 
青山静待归游子,绿水怀迎客返还。
 
 
问好庆宏兄!得便回国看看。 | 
			 
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		影沉寒水 举人
  
  Joined: 16 Feb 2010 Posts: 1145 Location: 中国福建 影沉寒水Collection | 
		
		
			
				 Posted: 2010-04-05 04:42:38    Post subject:  | 
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				梦回青山绿水间
 
 
遥问候 _________________ 诗无涯。思在线 | 
			 
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		qinghongh 榜眼
 
  Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
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				 Posted: 2010-04-05 10:17:53    Post subject:  | 
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	  | 黄洋界 wrote: | 
	 
	
	  | 思乡情切切,"梦里几回还".问好! | 
	 
 
 
 
谢黄老师雅赏。 | 
			 
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		qinghongh 榜眼
 
  Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
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				 Posted: 2010-04-05 10:19:22    Post subject:  | 
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谢笑聊兄和诗及盛情! | 
			 
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		qinghongh 榜眼
 
  Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
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				 Posted: 2010-04-05 10:20:02    Post subject:  | 
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谢寒水兄雅赏。 | 
			 
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		qinghongh 榜眼
 
  Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
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				 Posted: 2010-04-05 10:22:37    Post subject:  | 
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	  | qinghongh wrote: | 
	 
	
	  五绝	春日怀故乡
 
 
杨柳春风岸,青山绿水间。
 
遥遥桑梓地,梦里几回还。 | 
	 
 
 
 
想再添点色彩,“春风”改为“桃花”:
 
 
五绝	春日怀故乡
 
 
杨柳桃花岸,青山绿水间。
 
遥遥桑梓地,梦里几回还。
 
 
请诗友点评。 | 
			 
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		笑聊 探花
 
  Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection | 
		
		
			
				 Posted: 2010-04-05 21:13:20    Post subject:  | 
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				翠柳.粉花.青山.绿水。组成了一幅春景图:蝶蜂来又去,桃花映人面;春风舞杨柳,鱼游绿水间;山深闻鹧鸪,声声唤归人!
 
杨柳桃花岸,青山绿水间。前二句勾勒春景地点,第三句突转,为结句很好地表达思乡之情作了铺叙。遥遥桑梓地,面对如此大好春光,只能在异国他乡遥望故乡。第四句自然就带出了思念情结“梦里几回还”的叹息。注意,作者在这里特意用了“梦里”,二字。可见思乡情浓,只能在梦中返乡,现实中又不得而还的苦恼。这“梦里”二字,足见作者炼字之功力!
 
 
全诗以轻盈的语调,以春光作背景,衬托游子在大好春光里的思乡情结的苦恼,很好的起到了欲抑先扬的效果;表达了游子在异国他乡依然关注着祖国的繁荣昌盛!结构上起、承、转、合;抑、扬、顿、挫一气呵成,堪为绝句中的精品!
 
临屏促写,错误难免。敬请师、长们拍砖! | 
			 
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		宁家珍 秀才
  
  Joined: 20 May 2009 Posts: 470 Location: 中国黄山 宁家珍Collection | 
		
		
			
				 Posted: 2010-04-06 01:29:18    Post subject:  | 
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				| 欣赏好绝,问候qinghongh先生。 | 
			 
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		qinghongh 榜眼
 
  Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
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				 Posted: 2010-04-06 10:44:16    Post subject:  | 
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	  | 笑聊 wrote: | 
	 
	
	  翠柳.粉花.青山.绿水。组成了一幅春景图:蝶蜂来又去,桃花映人面;春风舞杨柳,鱼游绿水间;山深闻鹧鸪,声声唤归人!
 
 ... | 
	 
 
 
 
谢谢笑聊兄详解!笑聊兄过誉,在下受之有愧。我们互相学习探讨,共同提高。 | 
			 
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		qinghongh 榜眼
 
  Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
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				 Posted: 2010-04-06 10:44:54    Post subject:  | 
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	  | 宁家珍 wrote: | 
	 
	
	  | 欣赏好绝,问候qinghongh先生。 | 
	 
 
 
 
谢谢诗友! | 
			 
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		笑聊 探花
 
  Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection | 
		
		
			
				 Posted: 2010-04-06 21:17:50    Post subject:  | 
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				[quote="qinghongh"][quote="笑聊"]翠柳.粉花.青山.绿水。组成了一幅春景图:蝶蜂来又去,桃花映人面;春风舞杨柳,鱼游绿水间;山深闻鹧鸪,声声唤归人!
 
 ...[/quote]
 
 
谢谢笑聊兄详解!笑聊兄过誉,在下受之有愧。我们互相学习探讨,共同提高。[/quote]
 
庆宏兄不必过谦,事实是这首诗确实在写作技巧上,你化了工夫的.我也是实事求是地作了解释。 | 
			 
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		米运刚 秀才
 
  Joined: 19 Mar 2009 Posts: 918 Location: 四川省德阳市 米运刚Collection | 
		
		
			
				 Posted: 2010-04-07 04:19:01    Post subject:  | 
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				| 诗意甚浓,乡情甚浓!欣赏! | 
			 
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		qinghongh 榜眼
 
  Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
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				 Posted: 2010-04-07 10:21:24    Post subject:  | 
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谢谢米兄!问好! | 
			 
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		qinghongh 榜眼
 
  Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
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				 Posted: 2010-04-07 11:09:32    Post subject:  | 
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	  | 笑聊 wrote: | 
	 
	
	  
 
	  | qinghongh wrote: | 
	 
	
	  
 
	  | 笑聊 wrote: | 
	 
	
	  翠柳.粉花.青山.绿水。组成了一幅春景图:蝶蜂来又去,桃花映人面;春风舞杨柳,鱼游绿水间;山深闻鹧鸪,声声唤归人!
 
 ... | 
	 
 
 
 
谢谢笑聊兄详解!笑聊兄过誉,在下受之有愧。我们互相学习探讨,共同提高。 | 
	 
 
 
庆宏兄不必过谦,事实是这首诗确实在写作技巧上,你化了工夫的.我也是实事求是地作了解释。 | 
	 
 
 
 
谢谢笑聊兄! | 
			 
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