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五绝 春日怀故乡
qinghongh
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PostPosted: 2010-04-04 17:13:52    Post subject: 五绝 春日怀故乡 Reply with quote

五绝 春日怀故乡

杨柳春风岸,青山绿水间。
遥遥桑梓地,梦里几回还。
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白云闲人
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PostPosted: 2010-04-04 18:12:09    Post subject: Reply with quote

游子梦,
怀乡诗.
意切切,
情依依!
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诗中岁月,
笛里关山.
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qinghongh
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PostPosted: 2010-04-04 19:53:38    Post subject: Reply with quote

白云闲人 wrote:
游子梦,
怀乡诗.
意切切,
情依依!


谢白云老师和诗。
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黄洋界
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PostPosted: 2010-04-05 01:24:03    Post subject: Reply with quote

思乡情切切,"梦里几回还".问好!
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++++++++++++++
喜金石书画,友竹菊梅兰
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笑聊
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PostPosted: 2010-04-05 02:20:08    Post subject: Reply with quote

绝句-和庆宏兄

故里春风杨柳岸,新颜处处展其间!
青山静待归游子,绿水怀迎客返还。

问好庆宏兄!得便回国看看。
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影沉寒水
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PostPosted: 2010-04-05 04:42:38    Post subject: Reply with quote

梦回青山绿水间

遥问候
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诗无涯。思在线
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qinghongh
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PostPosted: 2010-04-05 10:17:53    Post subject: Reply with quote

黄洋界 wrote:
思乡情切切,"梦里几回还".问好!


谢黄老师雅赏。
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qinghongh
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PostPosted: 2010-04-05 10:19:22    Post subject: Reply with quote

笑聊 wrote:
绝句-和庆宏兄
...


谢笑聊兄和诗及盛情!
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qinghongh
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PostPosted: 2010-04-05 10:20:02    Post subject: Reply with quote

影沉寒水 wrote:
梦回青山绿水间

遥问候


谢寒水兄雅赏。
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qinghongh
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PostPosted: 2010-04-05 10:22:37    Post subject: Reply with quote

qinghongh wrote:
五绝 春日怀故乡

杨柳春风岸,青山绿水间。
遥遥桑梓地,梦里几回还。


想再添点色彩,“春风”改为“桃花”:

五绝 春日怀故乡

杨柳桃花岸,青山绿水间。
遥遥桑梓地,梦里几回还。

请诗友点评。
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笑聊
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PostPosted: 2010-04-05 21:13:20    Post subject: Reply with quote

翠柳.粉花.青山.绿水。组成了一幅春景图:蝶蜂来又去,桃花映人面;春风舞杨柳,鱼游绿水间;山深闻鹧鸪,声声唤归人!
杨柳桃花岸,青山绿水间。前二句勾勒春景地点,第三句突转,为结句很好地表达思乡之情作了铺叙。遥遥桑梓地,面对如此大好春光,只能在异国他乡遥望故乡。第四句自然就带出了思念情结“梦里几回还”的叹息。注意,作者在这里特意用了“梦里”,二字。可见思乡情浓,只能在梦中返乡,现实中又不得而还的苦恼。这“梦里”二字,足见作者炼字之功力!

全诗以轻盈的语调,以春光作背景,衬托游子在大好春光里的思乡情结的苦恼,很好的起到了欲抑先扬的效果;表达了游子在异国他乡依然关注着祖国的繁荣昌盛!结构上起、承、转、合;抑、扬、顿、挫一气呵成,堪为绝句中的精品!
临屏促写,错误难免。敬请师、长们拍砖!
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宁家珍
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PostPosted: 2010-04-06 01:29:18    Post subject: Reply with quote

欣赏好绝,问候qinghongh先生。
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qinghongh
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PostPosted: 2010-04-06 10:44:16    Post subject: Reply with quote

笑聊 wrote:
翠柳.粉花.青山.绿水。组成了一幅春景图:蝶蜂来又去,桃花映人面;春风舞杨柳,鱼游绿水间;山深闻鹧鸪,声声唤归人!
...


谢谢笑聊兄详解!笑聊兄过誉,在下受之有愧。我们互相学习探讨,共同提高。
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qinghongh
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PostPosted: 2010-04-06 10:44:54    Post subject: Reply with quote

宁家珍 wrote:
欣赏好绝,问候qinghongh先生。


谢谢诗友!
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笑聊
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PostPosted: 2010-04-06 21:17:50    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote="qinghongh"][quote="笑聊"]翠柳.粉花.青山.绿水。组成了一幅春景图:蝶蜂来又去,桃花映人面;春风舞杨柳,鱼游绿水间;山深闻鹧鸪,声声唤归人!
...[/quote]

谢谢笑聊兄详解!笑聊兄过誉,在下受之有愧。我们互相学习探讨,共同提高。[/quote]
庆宏兄不必过谦,事实是这首诗确实在写作技巧上,你化了工夫的.我也是实事求是地作了解释。
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米运刚
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PostPosted: 2010-04-07 04:19:01    Post subject: Reply with quote

诗意甚浓,乡情甚浓!欣赏!
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qinghongh
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PostPosted: 2010-04-07 10:21:24    Post subject: Reply with quote

米运刚 wrote:
诗意甚浓,乡情甚浓!欣赏!


谢谢米兄!问好!
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qinghongh
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PostPosted: 2010-04-07 11:09:32    Post subject: Reply with quote

笑聊 wrote:
qinghongh wrote:
笑聊 wrote:
翠柳.粉花.青山.绿水。组成了一幅春景图:蝶蜂来又去,桃花映人面;春风舞杨柳,鱼游绿水间;山深闻鹧鸪,声声唤归人!
...


谢谢笑聊兄详解!笑聊兄过誉,在下受之有愧。我们互相学习探讨,共同提高。

庆宏兄不必过谦,事实是这首诗确实在写作技巧上,你化了工夫的.我也是实事求是地作了解释。


谢谢笑聊兄!
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