qinghongh 榜眼
Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
qinghonghCollection |
Posted: 2010-04-04 17:13:52 Post subject: 五绝 春日怀故乡 |
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五绝 春日怀故乡
杨柳春风岸,青山绿水间。
遥遥桑梓地,梦里几回还。 |
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白云闲人 探花
Joined: 26 Aug 2007 Posts: 3466
白云闲人Collection |
Posted: 2010-04-04 18:12:09 Post subject: |
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游子梦,
怀乡诗.
意切切,
情依依! _________________ 诗中岁月,
笛里关山. |
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qinghongh 榜眼
Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
qinghonghCollection |
Posted: 2010-04-04 19:53:38 Post subject: |
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白云闲人 wrote: |
游子梦,
怀乡诗.
意切切,
情依依! |
谢白云老师和诗。 |
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黄洋界 探花

Joined: 23 Mar 2007 Posts: 3301 Location: 多伦多,加拿大 黄洋界Collection |
Posted: 2010-04-05 01:24:03 Post subject: |
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思乡情切切,"梦里几回还".问好! _________________ ++++++++++++++
喜金石书画,友竹菊梅兰 |
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笑聊 探花
Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection |
Posted: 2010-04-05 02:20:08 Post subject: |
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绝句-和庆宏兄
故里春风杨柳岸,新颜处处展其间!
青山静待归游子,绿水怀迎客返还。
问好庆宏兄!得便回国看看。 |
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影沉寒水 举人

Joined: 16 Feb 2010 Posts: 1145 Location: 中国福建 影沉寒水Collection |
Posted: 2010-04-05 04:42:38 Post subject: |
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梦回青山绿水间
遥问候 _________________ 诗无涯。思在线 |
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qinghongh 榜眼
Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
qinghonghCollection |
Posted: 2010-04-05 10:17:53 Post subject: |
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黄洋界 wrote: |
思乡情切切,"梦里几回还".问好! |
谢黄老师雅赏。 |
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qinghongh 榜眼
Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
qinghonghCollection |
Posted: 2010-04-05 10:19:22 Post subject: |
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谢笑聊兄和诗及盛情! |
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qinghongh 榜眼
Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
qinghonghCollection |
Posted: 2010-04-05 10:20:02 Post subject: |
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谢寒水兄雅赏。 |
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qinghongh 榜眼
Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
qinghonghCollection |
Posted: 2010-04-05 10:22:37 Post subject: |
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qinghongh wrote: |
五绝 春日怀故乡
杨柳春风岸,青山绿水间。
遥遥桑梓地,梦里几回还。 |
想再添点色彩,“春风”改为“桃花”:
五绝 春日怀故乡
杨柳桃花岸,青山绿水间。
遥遥桑梓地,梦里几回还。
请诗友点评。 |
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笑聊 探花
Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection |
Posted: 2010-04-05 21:13:20 Post subject: |
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翠柳.粉花.青山.绿水。组成了一幅春景图:蝶蜂来又去,桃花映人面;春风舞杨柳,鱼游绿水间;山深闻鹧鸪,声声唤归人!
杨柳桃花岸,青山绿水间。前二句勾勒春景地点,第三句突转,为结句很好地表达思乡之情作了铺叙。遥遥桑梓地,面对如此大好春光,只能在异国他乡遥望故乡。第四句自然就带出了思念情结“梦里几回还”的叹息。注意,作者在这里特意用了“梦里”,二字。可见思乡情浓,只能在梦中返乡,现实中又不得而还的苦恼。这“梦里”二字,足见作者炼字之功力!
全诗以轻盈的语调,以春光作背景,衬托游子在大好春光里的思乡情结的苦恼,很好的起到了欲抑先扬的效果;表达了游子在异国他乡依然关注着祖国的繁荣昌盛!结构上起、承、转、合;抑、扬、顿、挫一气呵成,堪为绝句中的精品!
临屏促写,错误难免。敬请师、长们拍砖! |
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宁家珍 秀才

Joined: 20 May 2009 Posts: 470 Location: 中国黄山 宁家珍Collection |
Posted: 2010-04-06 01:29:18 Post subject: |
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欣赏好绝,问候qinghongh先生。 |
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qinghongh 榜眼
Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
qinghonghCollection |
Posted: 2010-04-06 10:44:16 Post subject: |
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笑聊 wrote: |
翠柳.粉花.青山.绿水。组成了一幅春景图:蝶蜂来又去,桃花映人面;春风舞杨柳,鱼游绿水间;山深闻鹧鸪,声声唤归人!
... |
谢谢笑聊兄详解!笑聊兄过誉,在下受之有愧。我们互相学习探讨,共同提高。 |
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qinghongh 榜眼
Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
qinghonghCollection |
Posted: 2010-04-06 10:44:54 Post subject: |
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宁家珍 wrote: |
欣赏好绝,问候qinghongh先生。 |
谢谢诗友! |
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笑聊 探花
Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection |
Posted: 2010-04-06 21:17:50 Post subject: |
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[quote="qinghongh"][quote="笑聊"]翠柳.粉花.青山.绿水。组成了一幅春景图:蝶蜂来又去,桃花映人面;春风舞杨柳,鱼游绿水间;山深闻鹧鸪,声声唤归人!
...[/quote]
谢谢笑聊兄详解!笑聊兄过誉,在下受之有愧。我们互相学习探讨,共同提高。[/quote]
庆宏兄不必过谦,事实是这首诗确实在写作技巧上,你化了工夫的.我也是实事求是地作了解释。 |
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米运刚 秀才
Joined: 19 Mar 2009 Posts: 918 Location: 四川省德阳市 米运刚Collection |
Posted: 2010-04-07 04:19:01 Post subject: |
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诗意甚浓,乡情甚浓!欣赏! |
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qinghongh 榜眼
Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
qinghonghCollection |
Posted: 2010-04-07 10:21:24 Post subject: |
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谢谢米兄!问好! |
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qinghongh 榜眼
Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
qinghonghCollection |
Posted: 2010-04-07 11:09:32 Post subject: |
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笑聊 wrote: |
qinghongh wrote: |
笑聊 wrote: |
翠柳.粉花.青山.绿水。组成了一幅春景图:蝶蜂来又去,桃花映人面;春风舞杨柳,鱼游绿水间;山深闻鹧鸪,声声唤归人!
... |
谢谢笑聊兄详解!笑聊兄过誉,在下受之有愧。我们互相学习探讨,共同提高。 |
庆宏兄不必过谦,事实是这首诗确实在写作技巧上,你化了工夫的.我也是实事求是地作了解释。 |
谢谢笑聊兄! |
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