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〖金金作品〗像风
金金
进士出身


Joined: 08 Feb 2007
Posts: 2035
Location: 山东济宁
金金Collection
PostPosted: 2010-03-18 03:09:39    Post subject: 〖金金作品〗像风 Reply with quote

《像风》

春天的花园里
衣带飘起来
草起伏无声
它们听不见风
行在园中
花枝向四方倾斜
坐在草坪上
便是阳光下的一幅画
风,永远卷不走这幅画
内容已刻在我心上
风儿,也有对你的记忆
你就在风露出声音的时候
像风那样无形
自由徜徉,轻描淡写着
在我的心路上作画
真实存在且时隐时现

2010年3月18日 15时44分成诗歌






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骨笛
秀才


Joined: 03 Jan 2009
Posts: 547

骨笛Collection
PostPosted: 2010-03-18 03:19:02    Post subject: Reply with quote

有点绕囗。急成的吧?
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William Zhou周道模
探花


Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection
PostPosted: 2010-03-18 18:53:34    Post subject: Reply with quote

从外写向内。
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四一果
童生


Joined: 13 Mar 2010
Posts: 43

四一果Collection
PostPosted: 2010-03-18 20:10:26    Post subject: Reply with quote

清澈的诗,像女诗人一样美的春天。
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金金
进士出身


Joined: 08 Feb 2007
Posts: 2035
Location: 山东济宁
金金Collection
PostPosted: 2010-03-18 22:27:10    Post subject: Reply with quote

问好三位诗友:),确实有急成的感觉。但愿越写越不绕嘴!
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戴永良
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Joined: 28 Aug 2007
Posts: 194

戴永良Collection
PostPosted: 2010-03-19 07:55:10    Post subject: Reply with quote

春天的花园里
衣带飘起
在我的心路上作画
真实时隐时现
听不见风情
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真诚 友爱 善良
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2010-03-19 20:25:44    Post subject: Reply with quote

架构不错
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子花
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Joined: 08 Mar 2007
Posts: 722

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PostPosted: 2010-03-20 01:04:47    Post subject: Reply with quote

哥们,换个发型吧!! Laughing
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金金
进士出身


Joined: 08 Feb 2007
Posts: 2035
Location: 山东济宁
金金Collection
PostPosted: 2010-03-20 08:09:43    Post subject: Reply with quote

子花 wrote:
哥们,换个发型吧!! Laughing



暂时不想换:)我贴了几张截图
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nobody
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Joined: 31 Dec 2006
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PostPosted: 2010-03-20 18:24:53    Post subject: Reply with quote

风格比以前直接明快了。
发型很象歌星 Very Happy
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金金
进士出身


Joined: 08 Feb 2007
Posts: 2035
Location: 山东济宁
金金Collection
PostPosted: 2010-03-21 01:43:53    Post subject: Reply with quote

nobody老兄,好久不见!!
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