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大伯邑的河床
戴永良
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Joined: 28 Aug 2007
Posts: 194

戴永良Collection
PostPosted: 2010-03-15 20:49:01    Post subject: 大伯邑的河床 Reply with quote

大伯邑的河床
像崩裂的皱纹
昭示着模糊的记忆

风化的贝壳像烤饼
灌满了泥沙的脆弱
堆垒成褪色的风景

我感到情绪的冰凉和
岁月的浮躁
听不到一点渔网带给茅屋的陶醉
从指尖延伸到神经

也许再无人问
一块腐朽的船板或者
牧羊老人的自语
是来自民谣的抒情
还是来自黄昏的破碎

河床在草木的娉婷中
解读着自己对繁荣的反叛
直到被蚕食
直到记忆只剩下一滴眼泪
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金金
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Joined: 08 Feb 2007
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Location: 山东济宁
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PostPosted: 2010-03-15 21:00:13    Post subject: Reply with quote

比喻用的很丰富,觉得可以再细一点儿
问好!!!
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戴永良
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戴永良Collection
PostPosted: 2010-03-15 23:20:37    Post subject: Reply with quote

泰安的大哥谢谢济宁的小妹!
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金金
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Joined: 08 Feb 2007
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Location: 山东济宁
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PostPosted: 2010-03-15 23:41:18    Post subject: Reply with quote

不是济宁的小妹,呵呵。是爷们儿

呵呵白叫你喊了
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安红红
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PostPosted: 2010-03-16 00:29:21    Post subject: Reply with quote

呵呵~~真搞笑的~~

也许再无人问
一块腐朽的船板或者
牧羊老人的自语
是来自民谣的抒情
还是来自黄昏的破碎

纯朴敏锐的想象和感受~~
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戴永良
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PostPosted: 2010-03-16 05:15:23    Post subject: Reply with quote

那就谢谢金金和安小弟,这回总不会再错吧!
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杯中冲浪
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PostPosted: 2010-03-16 06:17:43    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very Happy Very Happy 风格大变,然而不错。
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金金
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PostPosted: 2010-03-16 20:48:31    Post subject: Reply with quote

cup of wine 再拥抱一下
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戴永良
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戴永良Collection
PostPosted: 2010-03-17 06:39:33    Post subject: Reply with quote

最近眼有点聋,耳有点花,嘴唇有点哆嗦,四只不会说话。
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