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【汉英微型诗】晒太阳
William Zhou周道模
探花


Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection
PostPosted: 2010-01-10 17:40:34    Post subject: 【汉英微型诗】晒太阳 Reply with quote

晒太阳

冬天来陪坐
品热茶赏阳光诗
雾散了忧郁

Bask in the Sun

Winter is accompanying me
To enjoy hot tea and poetry of light
Fog is dissipating sulkiness

2009-12-4 上午
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Lake
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Joined: 09 Jan 2007
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PostPosted: 2010-01-13 09:38:06    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi William,

Long time no write? Smile

Not very clear about "bath poetry of light".

English version looks too much longer than its Chinese counterpart.

Best,

Lake
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William Zhou周道模
探花


Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection
PostPosted: 2010-01-13 19:00:48    Post subject: Reply with quote

thanks for your reading and comment!

bath poetry of light= the light is poetry, I am in the sun.

I've written some short poems, I will put some on the net,please point out my mistakes in English.
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Lake
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PostPosted: 2010-01-14 13:06:48    Post subject: Reply with quote

William Zhou周道模 wrote:

晒太阳

冬天来陪坐
品热茶沫阳光诗
雾散了忧郁

Bask in the Sun

Winter is coming to accompany me
To savor hot tea and bath poetry of light
The fog dissipating the sulkiness
...



1. 什么是"沫阳光诗"?
2. "bath poetry of light", sounds like you bath poetry, not you take a poetry bath.
3. Is this a haiku? Then the English version is too wordy. And I do understand the difference between the two languages.

These are some of the questions I have from reading this poem.

Thanks. Smile
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William Zhou周道模
探花


Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection
PostPosted: 2010-01-14 20:13:06    Post subject: Reply with quote

thanks again! I have to rewrite it.
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SLIU
秀才


Joined: 01 Jan 2010
Posts: 384

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PostPosted: 2010-01-21 19:52:14    Post subject: Reply with quote

WINTER SUNLIGHT


From a place so faraway

The winter light

Reached the earth, weak and gray

It lost its warmth on the way

Where might it be

In my sunroom

Savoring hot tea

With me
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