sfiawong
秀才
Joined: 05 May 2009
Posts: 813
Location: US/HK
sfiawongCollection |
 Posted: 2009-05-25 23:56:54 Post subject: A Full Moon Night. |
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A Full Moon Night.
Watching the moon of a pale white lantern
as I thought my mom was in the moon.
Dreaming myself riding a space-ship to my home town,
As I passed through the oceans and mountains.
Why I see my father is thinking deeply?
My daughter’s children are smiling with happiness?
Immediately I felt myself with a line of grand-children
Recalled my memory for my children playing fire works,
We entered the Victoria Garden in the Moon Festival.
Are you still sleeping in your dream?
You should believe I am always staying by your side.
_________________
有評必回應.
Love your relatives and friends when they are near you.
我的英文詩:
http://poemhunter.com/albert-wong
http://facebook.com/sfiawong |
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William Zhou周道模
探花
Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection |
| Posted: 2009-07-03 20:12:25 Post subject: |
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Maybe the word "as" on the second line and on the forth line are not needed.
Can we say "why I see" ?
_________________
诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
周道模 |
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sfiawong
秀才
Joined: 05 May 2009
Posts: 813
Location: US/HK
sfiawongCollection |
| Posted: 2009-07-05 20:31:14 Post subject: |
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| William Zhou周道模 wrote: |
Maybe the word "as" on the second line and on the forth line are not needed.
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如你說的..應是可以.
謝,謝你的提議!
_________________
有評必回應.
Love your relatives and friends when they are near you.
我的英文詩:
http://poemhunter.com/albert-wong
http://facebook.com/sfiawong |
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