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简单句 · 很久没贴了,所以贴个简单的,问个好 :-)
遛达的七七
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Posts: 329

遛达的七七Collection
PostPosted: 2009-05-21 23:26:31    Post subject: 简单句 · 很久没贴了,所以贴个简单的,问个好 :-) Reply with quote

^


软弱的浮云


   1

你们就视我如浮云吧
改天,清风去了南方湿地
告别的时刻来临,

亲爱的亲爱
永远的永远
我还给你们雨滴
该去的,都去。


   2

这相对的片刻安静
正午的风声特别特别芜靡
伴随我呼吸
好像更困了,好像很快会醒

而我谴倦怠惰的
万千言语,迟迟不要人倾听
如浮云落座于我的摇椅
如花粉吹拂我旧衣
如已愿许三生
还执意秘密守身的情侣



   3

黄昏里同乡人燃起艾草
驱散了唱晚的蚊蚋
那些生僻的字,惆怅的字
现在被我一一认领

有的暗淡下来,化作花泥
颐养着铜玫瑰的怀乡病

有的灿烂上去
去了天边的光线里
我说我怎么站上了浮云
读到你写过又涂掉的
诸多而卓立的
金灰色短句










^
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韩少君
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Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection
PostPosted: 2009-05-22 02:59:16    Post subject: Reply with quote

亲爱的亲爱

永远的永远

我还给你们雨滴

该去的,都去。



我说我怎么站上了浮云

读到你写过又涂掉的

诸多而卓立的

金灰色短句

久违 ,好诗歌。问好!
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博弈
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Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection
PostPosted: 2009-05-22 05:47:49    Post subject: Reply with quote

尽得婉曲。
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sfiawong
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Joined: 05 May 2009
Posts: 813
Location: US/HK
sfiawongCollection
PostPosted: 2009-05-22 10:53:56    Post subject: Reply with quote

亲爱的亲爱

永远的永远

我还给你们雨滴

该去的,都去。


親愛的呼聲

甜入了心內樂

不想去的 妳卻云遊

去如一片云彩

幸而留下一室香氣

初來步到卻見漂離

不單只要一些雨滴

請留下詩的金匙

好讓把詩門打開

進去吸取書香味

希望將來有風

把彩云吹回來
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安红红
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Joined: 07 Feb 2009
Posts: 1808

安红红Collection
PostPosted: 2009-05-22 16:24:27    Post subject: Reply with quote

读完,我看窗外的云,它们流动的速度很快,又源源不断,它们是软的,又是韧的~
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赵福治
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Joined: 30 May 2006
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Location: 中国北京
赵福治Collection
PostPosted: 2009-05-22 16:31:59    Post subject: Reply with quote

黄昏里同乡人燃起艾草
驱散了唱晚的蚊蚋
那些生僻的字,惆怅的字
现在被我一一认领

。。。状态好,读2遍。
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sfiawong
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PostPosted: 2009-05-22 18:45:19    Post subject: Reply with quote

赵福治 wrote:
黄昏里同乡人燃起艾草
驱散了唱晚的蚊蚋
那些生僻的字,惆怅的字
现在被我一一认领

。。。状态好,读2遍。
赵福治 君

可看見彩色晚霞?

它的美麗是世間的最佳晚餐.

洗滌你的眼睛,眼球也明亮不少.

都市的忙人怕都忘記食色性也.

晚霞的美,可知天堂是怎樣的麼?

它就表現給你看看..

不了解的請快去看...!
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悬壶
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Joined: 02 May 2009
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Location: 广东
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PostPosted: 2009-05-22 19:07:55    Post subject: Reply with quote

灵活的抒情
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慈林
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Joined: 20 Dec 2008
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Location: 洛杉矶
慈林Collection
PostPosted: 2009-05-22 22:22:34    Post subject: Reply with quote

好诗,想象丰富,诗人本色.
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杯中冲浪
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Joined: 29 Sep 2006
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Location: 中国
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PostPosted: 2009-05-23 03:47:49    Post subject: Reply with quote

七七,是有天赋的,所以她的诗如行云流水,不是刻意制作。
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戴玨
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Joined: 03 Jan 2007
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戴玨Collection
PostPosted: 2009-05-23 07:09:19    Post subject: Reply with quote

我是浮雲
浮雲又落座於我的搖椅
我又站上了浮雲

好復雜喲! Embarassed
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遛达的七七
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Joined: 07 Jun 2006
Posts: 329

遛达的七七Collection
PostPosted: 2009-05-23 16:04:21    Post subject: Reply with quote

各位来七七地盘儿坐坐的朋友都好哈!!
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遛达的七七
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Joined: 07 Jun 2006
Posts: 329

遛达的七七Collection
PostPosted: 2009-05-23 19:54:09    Post subject: 戴玨 Reply with quote

浮云复杂不复杂呢 Smile
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博弈
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Joined: 21 Dec 2006
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Location: SFO
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PostPosted: 2009-05-24 09:08:11    Post subject: Reply with quote

戴玨兄怕是读到了更深入的含义,不好意思说吧。
七小姐的诗不逊于名家,值得很多新一代细读学习的。
我也不想说,但读者不妨从
“斜阳瞥映浅深树,云雨翻迷崖谷间”
或者了解一下Celtic symbolism of sex and love
对这诗会有意外的发现。中国与印欧于史前时代
对阳光大地云雨的象征取义,令人惊讶的是,完全一样。
后来是因宗教改造了西方的性与爱。
当然,误读是诗的最大趣味, 不排斥可能。
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遛达的七七
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Joined: 07 Jun 2006
Posts: 329

遛达的七七Collection
PostPosted: 2009-05-25 14:05:58    Post subject: Reply with quote

难得博弈最知七七的心肠哈。伊就是一个食色女子,且百毒不侵,
无论在哪国、学什么、装啥蒜,伊还就是刨她那一亩三分地儿~

一直都很跋扈地写着两性之间的较劲。

现在想把它写得简单干净,男男女女都自然。
这个《浮云》,缘于一个现在兰州的朋友雅克,问起我当年在青海的生活。
那是一段七七一生中最特别的日子,多特别呢?就好像过着别人的日子,
艰苦卓绝演着戏,却相信谁牺牲都可以,唯独女主角七七,会青翠常新  Razz

你别问我灵与肉什么的。我灵魂不跟我在一起。肉体还是人家的好 Smile
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