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七绝 夜宿湛江
lulu
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Joined: 25 Jan 2009
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Location: dream home
luluCollection
PostPosted: 2009-01-26 00:14:44    Post subject: 七绝 夜宿湛江 Reply with quote

给各位诗友问好,请指教!

七绝 夜宿湛江

文/ lulu

风拂江面水深幽,
凝望桥头月似钩。
斜映水中堤岸树,
飘零落叶在寒秋。
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荣辱不惊, 闲看亭前花开花落; 去留无意, 漫随天外云卷云舒
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qinghongh
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Joined: 14 Oct 2007
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PostPosted: 2009-01-26 08:15:13    Post subject: Reply with quote

lulu wrote:
给各位诗友问好,请指教!
...


写景不错。“象”改为“似”,如何?
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暗香如沁
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Joined: 14 Jan 2007
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PostPosted: 2009-01-26 18:22:45    Post subject: Reply with quote

qinghongh wrote:
lulu wrote:
给各位诗友问好,请指教!
...


写景不错。“象”改为“似”,如何?


附议Smile

祝福新春好。
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http://blog.sina.com.cn/axrq用寂寞谱写最美的舞曲~
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晓松
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Joined: 26 Feb 2007
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PostPosted: 2009-01-26 19:50:59    Post subject: Reply with quote

好一幅深秋风景画,意境幽幽~
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lulu
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Joined: 25 Jan 2009
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PostPosted: 2009-01-27 05:56:10    Post subject: Reply with quote

qinghongh wrote:
lulu wrote:
给各位诗友问好,请指教!
...


写景不错。“象”改为“似”,如何?

给庆宏老师及诗友问好!祝各位:牛年吉祥,万事如意!希望在这里结识更多的朋友,学到更多的东西,望诗友多多指教!
谢庆宏老师雅正!lulu感觉“似”更委婉一些,已把“像”该为“似”,谢谢!
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荣辱不惊, 闲看亭前花开花落; 去留无意, 漫随天外云卷云舒
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lulu
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luluCollection
PostPosted: 2009-01-27 06:01:33    Post subject: Reply with quote

暗香如沁 wrote:
qinghongh wrote:
lulu wrote:
给各位诗友问好,请指教!
...


写景不错。“象”改为“似”,如何?


附议Smile

祝福新春好。

祝福暗香如沁新春好!
_________________
荣辱不惊, 闲看亭前花开花落; 去留无意, 漫随天外云卷云舒
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lulu
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Joined: 25 Jan 2009
Posts: 264
Location: dream home
luluCollection
PostPosted: 2009-01-27 06:03:22    Post subject: Reply with quote

晓松 wrote:
好一幅深秋风景画,意境幽幽~

谢晓松雅评!祝福晓松新春好!
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荣辱不惊, 闲看亭前花开花落; 去留无意, 漫随天外云卷云舒
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