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七绝 夜宿湛江
lulu
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Joined: 25 Jan 2009
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luluCollection
PostPosted: 2009-01-26 00:14:44    Post subject: 七绝 夜宿湛江 Reply with quote
给各位诗友问好，请指教！

七绝 夜宿湛江

文/ lulu

风拂江面水深幽，
凝望桥头月似钩。
斜映水中堤岸树，
飘零落叶在寒秋。
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荣辱不惊, 闲看亭前花开花落; 去留无意, 漫随天外云卷云舒
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qinghongh
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Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

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PostPosted: 2009-01-26 08:15:13    Post subject: Reply with quote
lulu wrote:
给各位诗友问好，请指教！
...


写景不错。“象”改为“似”，如何？
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暗香如沁
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Joined: 14 Jan 2007
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PostPosted: 2009-01-26 18:22:45    Post subject: Reply with quote
qinghongh wrote:
lulu wrote:
给各位诗友问好，请指教！
...


写景不错。“象”改为“似”，如何？


附议Smile

祝福新春好。
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http://blog.sina.com.cn/axrq用寂寞谱写最美的舞曲~
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晓松
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Joined: 26 Feb 2007
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PostPosted: 2009-01-26 19:50:59    Post subject: Reply with quote
好一幅深秋风景画，意境幽幽~
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lulu
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Joined: 25 Jan 2009
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PostPosted: 2009-01-27 05:56:10    Post subject: Reply with quote
qinghongh wrote:
lulu wrote:
给各位诗友问好，请指教！
...


写景不错。“象”改为“似”，如何？

给庆宏老师及诗友问好！祝各位：牛年吉祥，万事如意！希望在这里结识更多的朋友，学到更多的东西，望诗友多多指教！
谢庆宏老师雅正！lulu感觉“似”更委婉一些，已把“像”该为“似”，谢谢！
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lulu
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Joined: 25 Jan 2009
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luluCollection
PostPosted: 2009-01-27 06:01:33    Post subject: Reply with quote
暗香如沁 wrote:
qinghongh wrote:
lulu wrote:
给各位诗友问好，请指教！
...


写景不错。“象”改为“似”，如何？


附议Smile

祝福新春好。

祝福暗香如沁新春好！
_________________
荣辱不惊, 闲看亭前花开花落; 去留无意, 漫随天外云卷云舒
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lulu
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Joined: 25 Jan 2009
Posts: 264
Location: dream home
luluCollection
PostPosted: 2009-01-27 06:03:22    Post subject: Reply with quote
晓松 wrote:
好一幅深秋风景画，意境幽幽~

谢晓松雅评！祝福晓松新春好！
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荣辱不惊, 闲看亭前花开花落; 去留无意, 漫随天外云卷云舒
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