| lulu 秀才
 
  
 Joined: 25 Jan 2009
 Posts: 264
 Location: dream home
 luluCollection
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				|  Posted: 2009-01-26 00:14:44    Post subject: 七绝 夜宿湛江 |   |  
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				| 给各位诗友问好,请指教! 
 七绝 夜宿湛江
 
 文/ lulu
 
 风拂江面水深幽,
 凝望桥头月似钩。
 斜映水中堤岸树,
 飘零落叶在寒秋。
 _________________
 荣辱不惊, 闲看亭前花开花落; 去留无意, 漫随天外云卷云舒
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		| qinghongh 榜眼
 
 
 Joined: 14 Oct 2007
 Posts: 4110
 
 qinghonghCollection
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				|  Posted: 2009-01-26 08:15:13    Post subject: |   |  
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	  | lulu wrote: |  
	  | 给各位诗友问好,请指教! ...
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 写景不错。“象”改为“似”,如何?
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		| 暗香如沁 秀才
 
 
 Joined: 14 Jan 2007
 Posts: 885
 Location: 北京
 暗香如沁Collection
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				|  Posted: 2009-01-26 18:22:45    Post subject: |   |  
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	  | qinghongh wrote: |  
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	  | lulu wrote: |  
	  | 给各位诗友问好,请指教! ...
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 写景不错。“象”改为“似”,如何?
 |  
 附议
   
 祝福新春好。
 _________________
 http://blog.sina.com.cn/axrq用寂寞谱写最美的舞曲~
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		| 晓松 举人
 
  
 Joined: 26 Feb 2007
 Posts: 1192
 
 晓松Collection
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				|  Posted: 2009-01-26 19:50:59    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 好一幅深秋风景画,意境幽幽~ |  | 
	
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		| lulu 秀才
 
  
 Joined: 25 Jan 2009
 Posts: 264
 Location: dream home
 luluCollection
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				|  Posted: 2009-01-27 05:56:10    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 
 
	  | qinghongh wrote: |  
	  | 
 
	  | lulu wrote: |  
	  | 给各位诗友问好,请指教! ...
 |  
 写景不错。“象”改为“似”,如何?
 |  给庆宏老师及诗友问好!祝各位:牛年吉祥,万事如意!希望在这里结识更多的朋友,学到更多的东西,望诗友多多指教!
 谢庆宏老师雅正!lulu感觉“似”更委婉一些,已把“像”该为“似”,谢谢!
 _________________
 荣辱不惊, 闲看亭前花开花落; 去留无意, 漫随天外云卷云舒
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		| lulu 秀才
 
  
 Joined: 25 Jan 2009
 Posts: 264
 Location: dream home
 luluCollection
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				|  Posted: 2009-01-27 06:01:33    Post subject: |   |  
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	  | 暗香如沁 wrote: |  
	  | 
 
	  | qinghongh wrote: |  
	  | 
 
	  | lulu wrote: |  
	  | 给各位诗友问好,请指教! ...
 |  
 写景不错。“象”改为“似”,如何?
 |  
 附议
   
 祝福新春好。
 |  祝福暗香如沁新春好!
 _________________
 荣辱不惊, 闲看亭前花开花落; 去留无意, 漫随天外云卷云舒
 |  | 
	
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		| lulu 秀才
 
  
 Joined: 25 Jan 2009
 Posts: 264
 Location: dream home
 luluCollection
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				|  Posted: 2009-01-27 06:03:22    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 谢晓松雅评!祝福晓松新春好!
 _________________
 荣辱不惊, 闲看亭前花开花落; 去留无意, 漫随天外云卷云舒
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