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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

秋隐

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白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2008-11-02 08:29:25 Post subject: 秋隐

秋隐让我们适时的退避三舍一舍为着琳琅满目的秋实一舍为避长趋直入的寒风而这最后一舍仅仅为你，击穿生命的底线没有原因

hepingdao
Site Admin

Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection

Posted: 2008-11-02 08:48:06 Post subject:

别致蚯蚓已经没有什么好去的地方了就让我们退到地下吧已经没有比这更黑暗的地方了而这也是仅仅因为你，黑暗突然明朗起来 _________________ 为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫!

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2008-11-02 18:30:33 Post subject:

HI, 蚯蚓, 你钓鱼呢? 我这世界一流的诗歌就被你音译成这模样了笑晕.最近太忙, 否则非和你大战50回合,把这蚯蚓换鱼也好为诗友们准备年夜餐

山城子
榜眼

Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 4771
Location: 中国贵州
山城子Collection

Posted: 2008-11-02 18:38:02 Post subject:

看了你们的--好高兴！ _________________ 诗是人生的雅伴儿。

hepingdao
Site Admin

Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection

Posted: 2008-11-02 19:01:49 Post subject:

白水 Moonlight wrote:

...

我投降呀

白水冲过来
小鱼小虾也冲过来
我只有一条蚯蚓呀
一条被挂到铁钩上的蚯蚓
一条想退却没有退路的蚯蚓
对着汹涌的大海低低的长啸。。。
_________________
为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫!

曲元奇
秀才

Joined: 01 Mar 2008
Posts: 427
Location: 山东
曲元奇Collection

Posted: 2008-11-02 22:13:22 Post subject:

让我们【适时】的退避这首诗的秘密都藏在【适时】二字吧？因为用了【适时】退避三舍就大有文章了

杯中冲浪
进士出身

Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection

Posted: 2008-11-03 03:29:25 Post subject:

哈哈，这一首于白水来说，可谓划时代。 _________________ 杯中冲浪.披履而行 http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006

半溪明月
榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2008-11-03 05:36:05 Post subject:

白水继续，把鱼吊上来，我们等着吃大餐呢

晴宝儿
秀才

Joined: 03 Jun 2008
Posts: 666

晴宝儿Collection

Posted: 2008-11-04 03:55:06 Post subject:

秋隐让我们适时的退避三舍一舍为着琳琅满目的秋实一舍为避长趋直入的寒风而这最后一舍仅仅为你，击穿生命的底线没有原因来欣赏学习，感受秋隐：）哈哈，难怪有蚯蚓．． _________________ 晴宝儿

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2008-11-04 19:27:57 Post subject:

山城子 wrote:

看了你们的--好高兴！

问好山城子老师. 不好意思, 如果你在学校遇到我们这种大言不惭,辱没斯文的学生, 一定会拿戒尺敲手心了.我只是开个玩笑,下次不敢瞎吹牛了 Razz

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2008-11-04 19:37:50 Post subject:

hepingdao wrote:

白水 Moonlight wrote:

...

我投降呀

...

一条被挂到铁钩上的蚯蚓
一条想退却没有退路的蚯蚓

不是吧? 得, 我也不拿蚯蚓换鱼了, 临屏草和把这地龙(蚯蚓的别称 Wink

)再接一节:

长啸隐隐，震颤
远古的呻吟
地心深处，谁
在掘通海底隧道？我张开一双
凡人的眼睛，看潮涨潮落
却无从知晓
生物练的末端
一条蚯蚓怎样默默地
耕耘

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2008-11-04 19:58:21 Post subject:

曲元奇 wrote:

让我们【适时】的退避这首诗的秘密都藏在【适时】二字吧？因为用了【适时】退避三舍就大有文章了

谢谢元奇理解. 此诗虽简短, 直白,但我的确想了很多.自古有"识时务者为俊杰"之说, "适时"也是直取其意吧. 但无论"识时务"也罢, "退避三舍"也罢, 都是因"为俊杰"而为之, 就很难排除功名利禄之诱惑了. 诗歌中退避一舍为得利,退避二舍为求存, 唯第三舍才是为"你", 才是忘我的, 没有原因, 没有私利的, 只是一种境的追求,,,,,,

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2008-11-04 20:02:38 Post subject:

杯中冲浪 wrote:

哈哈，这一首于白水来说，可谓划时代。

WOW, 难得你这么高的评价.冲浪, 改天非和你论论, 怎么个划时代法. Razz

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2008-11-04 20:14:16 Post subject:

半溪明月 wrote:

白水继续，把鱼吊上来，我们等着吃大餐呢 Very Happy

好吧, 听你的. 丢了根鱼草 Very Happy

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2008-11-04 20:28:13 Post subject:

晴宝儿 wrote:

秋隐
...

晴宝儿, 你不帮我还偷着乐, 哎, 这下我真没招了 Crying or Very sad

hepingdao
Site Admin

Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection

Posted: 2008-11-04 21:27:07 Post subject:

地龙,地龙,... 我喊第一声的时候它不知道自己就是龙我喊第二声的时候没人相信它真的是龙第三声我还没喊出就听到有人嚷嚷鲤鱼鲤鱼跳龙门啰...我一翻身只见一轮红日推到了床前 _________________ 为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫!

黎阳
童生

Joined: 01 Oct 2006
Posts: 56

黎阳Collection

Posted: 2008-11-05 00:31:46 Post subject:

仅仅为你，击穿生命的底线没有原因力度强

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2008-11-05 04:53:32 Post subject:

hepingdao wrote:

地龙,地龙,...
...

蚯蚓终于变鱼了, 从地洞里游出来就好, 换换气.挂在钓钩上挺吓人的 Very Happy

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2008-11-05 17:26:03 Post subject:

黎阳 wrote:

仅仅
为你，击穿生命的底线
没有原因

力度强

问好朋友

上城
进士出身

Joined: 15 Mar 2007
Posts: 2024
Location: 江夏黄鹤楼
上城Collection

Posted: 2008-11-09 01:50:18 Post subject:

hepingdao wrote:

别致
...

岛主写的很不赖。问好白水、岛主
_________________
每个诗人都很重要

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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