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Out in the early morning
Lake
举人


Joined: 09 Jan 2007
Posts: 1286

LakeCollection
PostPosted: 2008-07-19 18:50:51    Post subject: Out in the early morning Reply with quote

(旧作,挖出来,经过加工修改,再发。)

Out in the early morning

Dawn, a wooden cabin asleep.
Alone I take a trodden path
to Yellowstone Lake,
where everything is calm, quiet.
A tree trunk lies ashore
half buried in the sand.
I climb on it and sit. Suddenly,
a golden gopher scurries away
under my bare feet
as a line of wild ducks dot the waves,
rising and falling. Not far,
a man is fishing, content,
reminiscent of a legendary old man,
fishing with a straight hook, no bait.
I smile at this thought.
Again, the ripples roll gold and silver
dropped by the new sun.
I regret missing its leaping from the horizon -
its splendor, majesty.
The far ranges are
a mirage in the hazy clouds
while the water murmurs rhythmically
against the shore, as if singing,
"Come earlier next morning."
My book lies forgotten in my hand.

.
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mahuairong
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Joined: 19 Jul 2008
Posts: 51
Location: Qingdao China
mahuairongCollection
PostPosted: 2008-07-21 22:33:23    Post subject: Reply with quote

Is this idea from one of the ancient Chinese poems? This new version makes me feel calm and content.
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Lake
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Joined: 09 Jan 2007
Posts: 1286

LakeCollection
PostPosted: 2008-07-22 09:53:04    Post subject: Reply with quote

It is from my experience of going to Yellowstone Park years ago, though there is a reference of Jiang Taigong in the poem, which is how I felt at that time. Funny.

Of which Chinese poem did this one remind you?

Thanks for reading and commenting.

Lake
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William Zhou周道模
探花


Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection
PostPosted: 2008-07-23 01:02:01    Post subject: Reply with quote

自然美景、动物动态、钓鱼人静态、“我”的情思动态构成了迷人的幻景。

对西方读者来说,去掉“姜太公”的联想那几句可能更自然和谐。
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Lake
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Joined: 09 Jan 2007
Posts: 1286

LakeCollection
PostPosted: 2008-07-23 18:14:22    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢William 的讲评。

William Zhou周道模 wrote:
对西方读者来说,去掉“姜太公”的联想那几句可能更自然和谐。
...


是么?也有可能。 不太清楚。 用了“姜太公”还有一个原因,读西方诗友的诗时,发现他们经常引用典故,宗教,神话等等,看得我好辛苦;“气”不打一处来,也来个以牙还牙。 Laughing

等会儿,帖一首一位英国朋友的小诗,极富东方韵味呢。

喜欢你的直言,再次感谢!
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