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běiměifēng shǒuyè -> 西方文学 Western Literature fābiǎoxīntiè   huífùtièzǐ
Out in the early morning
Lake
举人


zhùcèshíjiān: 2007-01-09
tièzǐ: 1286

Lakeběiměifēngwénjí
tièzǐfābiǎoyú: 2008-07-19 18:50:51    fābiǎozhùtí: Out in the early morning yǐnyòngbìnghuífù

(旧作,挖出来,经过加工修改,再发。)

Out in the early morning

Dawn, a wooden cabin asleep.
Alone I take a trodden path
to Yellowstone Lake,
where everything is calm, quiet.
A tree trunk lies ashore
half buried in the sand.
I climb on it and sit. Suddenly,
a golden gopher scurries away
under my bare feet
as a line of wild ducks dot the waves,
rising and falling. Not far,
a man is fishing, content,
reminiscent of a legendary old man,
fishing with a straight hook, no bait.
I smile at this thought.
Again, the ripples roll gold and silver
dropped by the new sun.
I regret missing its leaping from the horizon -
its splendor, majesty.
The far ranges are
a mirage in the hazy clouds
while the water murmurs rhythmically
against the shore, as if singing,
"Come earlier next morning."
My book lies forgotten in my hand.

.
_________________
the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins
fǎnyèshǒu
yuèlǎnchéngyuánzīliào fāsòngsīrénliúyán 博客
mahuairong
童生


zhùcèshíjiān: 2008-07-19
tièzǐ: 51
láizì: Qingdao China
mahuairongběiměifēngwénjí
tièzǐfābiǎoyú: 2008-07-21 22:33:23    fābiǎozhùtí: yǐnyòngbìnghuífù

Is this idea from one of the ancient Chinese poems? This new version makes me feel calm and content.
_________________
You see me, you lose me
fǎnyèshǒu
yuèlǎnchéngyuánzīliào fāsòngsīrénliúyán
Lake
举人


zhùcèshíjiān: 2007-01-09
tièzǐ: 1286

Lakeběiměifēngwénjí
tièzǐfābiǎoyú: 2008-07-22 09:53:04    fābiǎozhùtí: yǐnyòngbìnghuífù

It is from my experience of going to Yellowstone Park years ago, though there is a reference of Jiang Taigong in the poem, which is how I felt at that time. Funny.

Of which Chinese poem did this one remind you?

Thanks for reading and commenting.

Lake
_________________
the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins
fǎnyèshǒu
yuèlǎnchéngyuánzīliào fāsòngsīrénliúyán 博客
William Zhou周道模
探花


zhùcèshíjiān: 2007-06-10
tièzǐ: 3950
láizì: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模běiměifēngwénjí
tièzǐfābiǎoyú: 2008-07-23 01:02:01    fābiǎozhùtí: yǐnyòngbìnghuífù

自然美景、动物动态、钓鱼人静态、“我”的情思动态构成了迷人的幻景。

对西方读者来说,去掉“姜太公”的联想那几句可能更自然和谐。
_________________
诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
周道模
fǎnyèshǒu
yuèlǎnchéngyuánzīliào fāsòngsīrénliúyán 博客 liúlǎnfābiǎozhědezhùyè
Lake
举人


zhùcèshíjiān: 2007-01-09
tièzǐ: 1286

Lakeběiměifēngwénjí
tièzǐfābiǎoyú: 2008-07-23 18:14:22    fābiǎozhùtí: yǐnyòngbìnghuífù

谢谢William 的讲评。

William Zhou周道模 xièdào:
对西方读者来说,去掉“姜太公”的联想那几句可能更自然和谐。
...


是么?也有可能。 不太清楚。 用了“姜太公”还有一个原因,读西方诗友的诗时,发现他们经常引用典故,宗教,神话等等,看得我好辛苦;“气”不打一处来,也来个以牙还牙。 Laughing

等会儿,帖一首一位英国朋友的小诗,极富东方韵味呢。

喜欢你的直言,再次感谢!
_________________
the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins
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yuèlǎnchéngyuánzīliào fāsòngsīrénliúyán 博客
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