| 溪语 秀才
 
 
 Joined: 16 Mar 2007
 Posts: 509
 Location: 中国恩施
 溪语Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-01-13 02:19:21    Post subject: 舌头 |   |  
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				| 笨拙的舌头 再一次被牙齿砸伤
 砸我舌头的是我自己的牙
 又能冲谁说话
 
 舌头对一些味道早已麻木
 泪水的味道  汗水的味道
 背影的味道  阳光的味道
 铜钱的味道  诗歌的味道
 
 这样一截舌头
 值不值得保留
 刚换上别人的如簧巧舌
 竟发出鹦鹉的声音
 
 咱那肉肉的舌头
 隐居在口腔里
 不再说一句牙齿外面的话
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 溪语的博客:家住鄂西
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		| 白水 大学士
 
  
 Joined: 02 Oct 2006
 Posts: 14102
 Location: TORONTO
 白水Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-01-13 02:23:24    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 麻辣烫. 
 
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		| nobody 进士出身
 
 
 Joined: 31 Dec 2006
 Posts: 2651
 Location: Madtown
 nobodyCollection
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				|  Posted: 2008-01-13 07:51:55    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 有新鲜感。欣赏。 牙齿外面的话,哈哈。
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 I'm nobody! Who are you?
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		| 半溪明月 榜眼
 
  
 Joined: 30 Sep 2006
 Posts: 4760
 
 半溪明月Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-01-13 11:48:32    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 刚换上别人的如簧巧舌 竟发出鹦鹉的声音
 
 
 有意思~
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		| 迪拜 同进士出身
 
 
 Joined: 31 Oct 2006
 Posts: 1588
 
 迪拜Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-01-13 16:52:36    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 有意思 |  | 
	
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		| 溪语 秀才
 
 
 Joined: 16 Mar 2007
 Posts: 509
 Location: 中国恩施
 溪语Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-01-14 01:32:09    Post subject: |   |  
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	  | 白水 Moonlight wrote: |  
	  | 麻辣烫. 
 
  |   _________________
 溪语的博客:家住鄂西
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		| 溪语 秀才
 
 
 Joined: 16 Mar 2007
 Posts: 509
 Location: 中国恩施
 溪语Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-01-14 01:33:19    Post subject: |   |  
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	  | nobody wrote: |  
	  | 有新鲜感。欣赏。 牙齿外面的话,哈哈。
 |  谢了!
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		| 溪语 秀才
 
 
 Joined: 16 Mar 2007
 Posts: 509
 Location: 中国恩施
 溪语Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-01-22 08:12:17    Post subject: |   |  
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	  | 半溪明月 wrote: |  
	  | 刚换上别人的如簧巧舌 竟发出鹦鹉的声音
 
 
 有意思~
 |  把酒问青天.
 _________________
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		| 山城子 榜眼
 
 
 Joined: 23 May 2007
 Posts: 4771
 Location: 中国贵州
 山城子Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-01-23 07:29:52    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 咱那肉肉的舌头 隐居在口腔里
 不再说一句牙齿外面的话
 
 欣赏!
 _________________
 诗是人生的雅伴儿。
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		| 韩少君 进士出身
 
  
 Joined: 06 Apr 2007
 Posts: 2558
 Location: 吉林四平
 韩少君Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-01-23 23:52:30    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 把最好的语言送给自己的爱 
 把最坏的语言送给大家的恨
 _________________
 靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345
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		| 溪语 秀才
 
 
 Joined: 16 Mar 2007
 Posts: 509
 Location: 中国恩施
 溪语Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-01-25 21:11:11    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 多谢楼上两位诗人大哥!问好! _________________
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		| 荷梦 进士出身
 
 
 Joined: 19 Dec 2006
 Posts: 2826
 Location: 湖北,黄梅
 荷梦Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-01-25 22:53:24    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 呵呵,第三节所讲的舌头,与诗的主体无关吧?有些不明白,  |  | 
	
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		| 溪语 秀才
 
 
 Joined: 16 Mar 2007
 Posts: 509
 Location: 中国恩施
 溪语Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-01-26 08:05:48    Post subject: |   |  
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	  | 荷梦 wrote: |  
	  | 呵呵,第三节所讲的舌头,与诗的主体无关吧?有些不明白,  |  跳跃了下,闪了舌头.谢谢荷梦,点评舌头.
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		| 溪语 秀才
 
 
 Joined: 16 Mar 2007
 Posts: 509
 Location: 中国恩施
 溪语Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-01-27 07:09:00    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 舌头对一些味道早已麻木 泪水的味道 汗水的味道
 背影的味道 阳光的味道
 铜钱的味道 诗歌的味道
 
 ---我觉得这段和全诗不协调,谁帮忙手术手术!
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		| 超超 童生
 
  
 Joined: 27 Jan 2008
 Posts: 8
 
 超超Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-01-27 19:50:05    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 这种味道—— 委屈,辛劳?
 离别,当歌?
 文采,富足?
 
 嘻  这样一截舌头
 值不值得挽留
 
 ————————————————————
 不才,拙见后的改动...
 _________________
 每  一  天
 对  得  起  夕  阳  ~
 
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		| 溪语 秀才
 
 
 Joined: 16 Mar 2007
 Posts: 509
 Location: 中国恩施
 溪语Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-01-28 07:40:19    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 请继续! _________________
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