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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

舌头

溪语
秀才

Joined: 16 Mar 2007
Posts: 509
Location: 中国恩施
溪语Collection

Posted: 2008-01-13 02:19:21 Post subject: 舌头

笨拙的舌头再一次被牙齿砸伤砸我舌头的是我自己的牙又能冲谁说话舌头对一些味道早已麻木泪水的味道汗水的味道背影的味道阳光的味道铜钱的味道诗歌的味道这样一截舌头值不值得保留刚换上别人的如簧巧舌竟发出鹦鹉的声音咱那肉肉的舌头隐居在口腔里不再说一句牙齿外面的话 _________________ 溪语的博客:家住鄂西

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2008-01-13 02:23:24 Post subject:

麻辣烫.

nobody
进士出身

Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection

Posted: 2008-01-13 07:51:55 Post subject:

有新鲜感。欣赏。牙齿外面的话，哈哈。 _________________ I'm nobody! Who are you?

半溪明月
榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2008-01-13 11:48:32 Post subject:

刚换上别人的如簧巧舌竟发出鹦鹉的声音有意思~

迪拜
同进士出身

Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 1588

迪拜Collection

Posted: 2008-01-13 16:52:36 Post subject:

有意思

溪语
秀才

Joined: 16 Mar 2007
Posts: 509
Location: 中国恩施
溪语Collection

Posted: 2008-01-14 01:32:09 Post subject:

白水 Moonlight wrote:

麻辣烫.

_________________
溪语的博客:家住鄂西

溪语
秀才

Joined: 16 Mar 2007
Posts: 509
Location: 中国恩施
溪语Collection

Posted: 2008-01-14 01:33:19 Post subject:

nobody wrote:

有新鲜感。欣赏。
牙齿外面的话，哈哈。

谢了!
_________________
溪语的博客:家住鄂西

溪语
秀才

Joined: 16 Mar 2007
Posts: 509
Location: 中国恩施
溪语Collection

Posted: 2008-01-22 08:12:17 Post subject:

半溪明月 wrote:

刚换上别人的如簧巧舌
竟发出鹦鹉的声音

有意思~

把酒问青天.
_________________
溪语的博客:家住鄂西

山城子
榜眼

Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 4771
Location: 中国贵州
山城子Collection

Posted: 2008-01-23 07:29:52 Post subject:

咱那肉肉的舌头隐居在口腔里不再说一句牙齿外面的话欣赏！ _________________ 诗是人生的雅伴儿。

韩少君
进士出身

Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection

Posted: 2008-01-23 23:52:30 Post subject:

把最好的语言送给自己的爱把最坏的语言送给大家的恨 _________________ 靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345

溪语
秀才

Joined: 16 Mar 2007
Posts: 509
Location: 中国恩施
溪语Collection

Posted: 2008-01-25 21:11:11 Post subject:

多谢楼上两位诗人大哥!问好! _________________ 溪语的博客:家住鄂西

荷梦
进士出身

Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北，黄梅
荷梦Collection

Posted: 2008-01-25 22:53:24 Post subject:

呵呵，第三节所讲的舌头，与诗的主体无关吧？有些不明白，

溪语
秀才

Joined: 16 Mar 2007
Posts: 509
Location: 中国恩施
溪语Collection

Posted: 2008-01-26 08:05:48 Post subject:

荷梦 wrote:

呵呵，第三节所讲的舌头，与诗的主体无关吧？有些不明白， Embarassed

跳跃了下,闪了舌头.谢谢荷梦,点评舌头.
_________________
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溪语
秀才

Joined: 16 Mar 2007
Posts: 509
Location: 中国恩施
溪语Collection

Posted: 2008-01-27 07:09:00 Post subject:

舌头对一些味道早已麻木泪水的味道汗水的味道背影的味道阳光的味道铜钱的味道诗歌的味道－－－我觉得这段和全诗不协调，谁帮忙手术手术！ _________________ 溪语的博客:家住鄂西

超超
童生

Joined: 27 Jan 2008
Posts: 8

超超Collection

Posted: 2008-01-27 19:50:05 Post subject:

这种味道—— 委屈，辛劳？离别，当歌？文采，富足？嘻这样一截舌头值不值得挽留 ———————————————————— 不才，拙见后的改动... _________________ 每一天对得起夕阳 ~ http://blog.sina.com.cn/lc0324

溪语
秀才

Joined: 16 Mar 2007
Posts: 509
Location: 中国恩施
溪语Collection

Posted: 2008-01-28 07:40:19 Post subject:

请继续! _________________ 溪语的博客:家住鄂西

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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